Kate Moss, Shut Up. I'm Trying to Raise a Daughter Here.

Clearly what Kate Moss is telling us is how good she is at controlling what goes into her mouth. Maybe it's time she starts learning to control what comes out of it.

-julie

I write and draw about my attempts at learning 3 new sports at once!

http://tri-ingtobeathletic.blogspot.com

And fresh pineapple

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Sarah can also be found at Sarah and the Goon Squad ( http://sarahandthegoonsquad.com/ ), Draft Day Suit ( http://draftdaysuit.com/ ) and MamaPop ( http://mamapop.com ).

I tried! I really did... tried to be anorexic, but had to eat... tried to be bulimic but could gag but not throw up anything substantial. THANK G-D I failed! They're such scary and dangerous diseases. But pressure from peers and comments like Kate's had me trying last resorts.

Thank G-d I've found something (healthy!) that's working now... G-d bless you Jon!

Sarah,
You forgot cake, broccoli, apples. I hear you. It's tough to raise our daughters to have a good relationship with food.

Best,

Margee Moore

Blogger at www.moxiemom.com ( http://www.moxiemom.com/ ) and author of the iPhone app, Sleeping With the Laundry: Notes from the Mommy Track.  A five star star rated a

We're trying to change what women see as normal. Help us, so we don't all think that Kate Moss is "normal".

www.mybodygallery.com ( http://www.mybodygallery.com )

What Real Women Look Like

"sometimes in our efforts to be kind and tolerant of bigger bodies we inadvertently insult the smaller ones, and some of the people who have smaller ones have them because of genetics and not starvation"

That is true - some people seem very happy to comment on how skinny I am, in ways they would never speak about somebody overweight.  "Jeez look at your bony wrist, just look at that!"

I particularly dislike it when people go on about how being more curvy is more "natural" and more "womanly".   Cant we get to a point where a woman can be feminine and "natural" in whatever body she was born into - regardless the amount of padding?

I think women of all shapes should be able to embrace a healthy body without feeling compelled to despise it and without trying to change it into something else.  I also wish they didn't have to ward off insults or have to defend their bodies.  (And I think that goes in both directions... sometimes in our efforts to be kind and tolerant of bigger bodies we inadvertently insult the smaller ones, and some of the people who have smaller ones have them because of genetics and not starvation.)

Anyway, Kate's quote is a tired old phrase, hardly original.  The quote is a has-been and hopefully the attitude will be just that soon, too.

Besides:  CHEDDAR BAY BISCUITS from Red Lobster.  Need I say more?  She's just wrong, wrong, wrong. 

PS:  Also, those pro-ana, pro-mia (bulemia) and pro-ed (eating disorder) sites are very disturbing.  They make me so sad.

PSS:  I've struggled with weight and body image issues all my life, and even at nearly 300 pounds, I would not have wished for an eating disorder, nor do I understand how anyone can see it as any sort of solution.  Very sad.  My body may be a pain in the ass, but at least my psyche and ego are intact.

JustLinda fabulously imperfect Nothing to See Here... Just Linda ( http://justlinda.net )

Happiness and healthiness are what feel good.

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Sports and Fitness ( http://blogher.org/topic/sports-fitness ) Sarah and the Goon Squad ( http://sarahandthegoonsquad.com/ ) Draft Day Suit ( http://draftdaysuit.com/ )

I'm also naturally thin...just over 100 pounds at 5"1'.  When I was in high school, before I started working, I weighed nearly 10 lbs more and I liked how I looked.  Once I started working and was constantly on my feet, I lost that 8 or 10 lbs and since then have felt a little under-weight, even though it has stayed constant in the 15-odd years since then (except during pregnancy, thank goodness).  Not to be glib, but let me tell you, being skinny is freakin' cold.  A girl I knew in college who we suspected had an eating disorder used to constantly complain how cold she was (I think it was her turning down offers of hot chocolate that clinched it for us about her possible disorder).  I can only imagine the ravages of the eating disorders only make managing your body temperature even harder. 

I can't wait until we really start pushing the "be healthy" slogans over the "be emaciated" slogans.

You are so right. As a mom of three, now grown, I can tell you that these models and others are the bain of many a mom's existence. My oldest daughter has battled weight-mania since puberty until at 22 she was diagnosed with PCOS and learned why she was "fat." (She's not and never has been actually fat but being size 12 at age 19 does make one feel excessively fat in a world of Kate Moss's.) The roller coaster ride she and really all of us were on was no picnic. Having sisters who look like Moss (they eat, they're just lucky!) didn't make life any easier for anyone.

Nothing tastes better than skinny feels? Yeah, it does. Happiness tastes, feels, and smells really good. So does feeling strong in who you are, inside and out.

Please check out my blog at http://raisingamazingdaughters.wordpress.com

I have to say that I've suffered through so much stupid body image crap- comments like Kate's make me CRAZYYYYYYYY!  But I have managed to gain some perspective through the many wonderful men I've befriended- my husband always likes to point out that it is mostly white girls who are obsessed with this, and given the chance, most other cultures love, envy, delight in and appreciate the curvy lady.  I am fairly small, yet curvy and when I was thin I really did feel a loss.  I felt at a loss without my curvy butt and legs.  I guess I looked better to the obsessed teenage set or the models out there, but to me I felt just thin- like a piece of cheap cloth.  So, having a girl-child myself, I want to instill in her lots of images of beauty- not just the high-fashion version.  I want her to love her uniqueness, her ginger hair and her (very likely) much-taller-than-mama body!! Health, good food, love of self, good posture, knowing how to say NO, knowing what she's good at and the ability to appreciate the enormous array of beautiful people out there.... even when her thighs touch and she has a pot belly (like mama's) and has kids and stretch marks!

     Amen! Shut up, Kate!  From one mother of a daughter to another mother of a daughter,   

     shut your trap!

     ~Scout

I was one of the skinny ones - not by choice, not by starving myself, it was just my metabolism. At 5'4", I weighed 95 pounds (not skinny by a model's standard, perhaps) and my hip bones stuck out and my butt hurt when I sat down... I didn't look good, I looked sickly... 20 years and 6 kids later, I'm on a diet, hoping to get down to 128 (my self-declared ideal weight).

I don't think it's new that girls are getting bad messages - it worries me that my son is thrilled that he's lost weight. When did 13-year-old boys ever care about their weight? For my daughter (who is somewhat overweight) I made sure to buy flattering clothes that make her feel great. She is constantly complimented on the way she's dressed and I'm sure that's got to be good for her self-image - and I was about to kill my MIL when she told her, "Now all you need is to lose a few pounds."

Rachel Inbar
http://www.fertilitystories.com/fertilityblog/
http://www.internationalshippingshops.blogspot.com

That brand of skinny? That "i refuse to eat" skinny? Feels like a really bad binge. It feels like you can never focus, never see straight, never stop shaking. It feels like death, and people like me learn to like it.
Learned. And then unlearned. That god for unprotected sex.
We have to start ignoring these people, stop buying the magazines and the products that pay their salaries. Stop watching the tv shows that advertise their lifestyles. If enough of us make a stand, they'll stop shoving these ideas down everyone's throats.
Mr Lady: 
whiskeyinmysippycup.com

And it infuriates me that companies continue to use her face to sell their product.

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Sports and Fitness ( http://blogher.org/topic/sports-fitness ) Sarah and the Goon Squad ( http://sarahandthegoonsquad.com/ ) Draft Day Suit ( http://draftdaysuit.com/ )

I have a five-year old daughter and this kind of thing makes me feel instantly quite nauseous.  And angry.  And frustrated.

And then I think: WHY?  Is Kate Moss REALLY a role model?  To me she is a kind of anti-role model. She smokes, she does drugs, and she says really daft things.  So God made her pretty. She cannot take much credit herself for that.

Let's refocus our kids on REAL role models.  Isn't that our job as parents?  I love people like Cate Blanchett - beautiful but not obsessed with surface or material things.  Surely there are a million great healthy, beautiful (inside) role models we can look at instead?

:-)

BB

I'd prefer "nothing tastes as good as healthy feels" but still, as per your list, we all know lots of things taste good!

I'm also raising a daughter and I'd like to immunize her against these sorts of images and thoughts, but I know I can't. Instead, I'm just going to try talk to her about what I went through and expose her to healthy activities while showing her the right way to eat and exercise - as part of your lifestyle instead as a way to get skinny.

Heather

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
www.heather-cook.com
www.thewritingmother.com
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I recall seeing on Dr. Phil, that the pro-anorexia sites allow users to upload photos and that the members then use them as inspirations or goal weights. I couldn't believe it when I read that.  Gross and upsetting at the same time.

I did a book review for the Amazon Vine and was upset as this book targeted to girls grade 7 and up (per the publisher's marketing materials)----told all the directions on how to binge and purge to get minimal damage to one's body (not burn throat etc.). It read like an instruction manual, ridiculous.  You can read it here if you want http://thethinkingmother.blogspot.com/2009/02/purg...

Another thing to discuss with kids (espeically daughters) is the way that models in magazines and ads are edited to make them look better. There is a video on YouTube somewhere that shows an average looking person being made up in speeded up time to wind up looking gorgeous, you see how long it takes and that it is stage makeup and special hair styling.

There was an article with the actress Jamie Lee Curtis where she did a before and after shot of her being photographed for a magazine that was eye-opening.

I also read an article just about a week ago that the dancers on Dancing with the Stars use airbrush techniques to get a six pack abs look. And we thought they were just in shape...

The more we can unveil the trickery tactics that Hollywood, TV, and print media use to fool us regular people into thinking the others featured are ideal or natural or normal the better. I'm doing this with my boys but they are less interested in looks and this issue than girls.

I recall also my flat stomached thin boys both saying they can't wait to grow up and have a (pot) belly like their mother and father do as that is what big people have and is good. I'm not glorifying an unhealthy state but being able to pinch an inch is NORMAL.

I've never had cosmetic surgery and try to not feel bad about myself when compared to my friends, neighbors and relatives who have gone under the knife (or even just had their teeth bleached).  Even with being a confident 40-something woman, I have to kind of talk myself into not letting myself think I'm frumpy or 'not good enough' looking.

Thai food,

Pie

and Thanksgiving to the list.

Actually, pretty much everything that's entered my lips tastes better than I imagine thin feels. She just wouldn't know. Idiot.

www.scarymommy.com ( http://www.scarymommy.com )

I'm not one of those people who are naturally slender, so if I want to be skinny (I'm not even going to go into how today's standard for "skinny" is skeletal), I have to cut everything that gives me pleasure out of my diet.  A life of steamed chicken and vegetables is so not worth it.  Tonight, I am having Christmas Eve dinner with friends, and I am so looking forward to stuffing.  And the hamentashen cookies I am bringing for dessert.  Yum. But first, I'm going to the gym this afternoon because it is important to exercise to keep your body fit, no matter how much padding there is.  (Yes, overweight people can be healthy too!  In fact, studies have found that people who have BMIs that fall in the "overweight" category tend to live longer than those in the "healthy" one.  Interesting.)

And for the people who can eat all that stuff and still be slim, good for them.  But my genes are different, and I'm not going to try and force my body to be anything it wasn't meant to be.  What really tastes good is having a balanced and healthy life, no matter what size your clothes are.  Enjoy the holidays!

Suzanne also blogs at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants ( http://cussandotherrants.com ) and is the author of Off the Beaten (Subway) Track ( http://offthebeatensubwaytrack.com ).

That is irresponsible and just plain wrong.

Skinny felt to me like being vulnerable, like being a child again and a target for mean comments. It felt like nothing tasted good.

Kate Moss sure doesn't know how cookies taste. Or pecan tarts, or Doritos, or boeuf bourguignon, or roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, pumpkin squares. It tastes like health, like being strong, like living.

Terry Elisabeth http://pandabox33.wordpress.com http://bazookah5.wordpress.com

Oh yes the Pro Anna sites.  I once spent quite some time looking at them, they are truly scary.

They love quotes like that - I remember particularly "inner beauty is a myth"

They exude a sort of impenetrable self righteousness.

"Nothing tastes as good..." I wonder how good it feels to have to be fed through the nose by  tube, like the painfully skinny woman that shared my mother's hospital room.