Thoughts and Concerns on Sibling Spacing: What's the Right Age Difference?


// I want Ada to be onto the next thing.

Potty training, big girl beds, half day preschool, the whole bit. If Ada's moved onto the next stage in her little life... it means that number 2 will, in turn, be able to get more of my attention as well. I guess this is a big worry of mine: That our next child just won't -- out of necessity -- get the same level of attentiveness.

I have no delusions that I can devote the same fixation to the pregnancy and newborn stage that I did with Ada. She was the first and, as part of the deal, was a bit of an obsession of mine. I am hoping that by waiting just a tic, though, I'll have a bit more space to slow down for our next child and my own sanity. Even an inch of more space will be helpful, I think.

// I have a few personal things to iron out first.

These are purely selfish, but if I can't do a few things for myself with just one child? Forget about it with more. I want to run another marathon, which is scheduled for October. I want to be breastfeeding-free, and -- therefore -- have my body all to me for once in the last two years! -- for at least a year (we're still doing a night feeding). You know, simple stuff like that.

Those are just some of the main reasons we're waiting. And we're still not certain how many children we'd like to bring into the world either. Often I think realistically two, but there are days when I see families of five (3 kids), and I think about how fantastic that might be. A "large" family, and I know three kids doesn't necessarily qualify as such, is so foreign to us since we both came from families of four.

Who knows what will happen. It's not all up to us, that much I've learned is true.

What is your own child-spacing strategy? Or do you not have one? I just love hearing what other people have to say about families. And those of you with experiences either way -- or with choosing one child -- that would be awesome to hear, too.


Ashley M. is a work-at-home mom to daughter Ada and creator of lifestyle blogs {never}homemaker and Writing Chapter Three. When she's not writing or wrangling deals, she's running, baking, snapping photos, or chasing the elusive $50 grocery budget.

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