Do Some Lesbians Feel More Pressure To "Come Out"?

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I was 19 the first time I summoned the courage to kiss a girl. No club blaring Katy Perry lines for motivation; this wasn’t a fad or phase. She was my first love, and Satan couldn’t keep me from the sweetest misery I’ve ever known. Honestly, it itches my ass when girls today play with the power of a woman’s love, which now seems to be too often reduced solely to enjoying "the P." Somewhere between drunken college nights; completely awkward, sore mornings; and Ellen being the next Oprah, we lost sight of who/what a lesbian is. Is she a scholar or a slut? Can a lesbian be in a faithful and healthy lasting relationship or is it all for "likes" and giggles?


Image: Diricia De Wet via Flickr

This love/hate for the taboo that is lesbianism is in the belly of the beast of confusion. I wholeheartedly understand how some women are perpetual residents of "The Closet." Now we can have the "down low" debate all we want while discussing diseases, men, and the wide disparity that is within our race, but this ain't that. Women being in the closet is always swept under the rug. People either think it’s cute when a chick digs another chick (no pun), or utterly repulsive at best.

I’d hop on the cross with the statement that we force people to lie about who they are. We tell men they have to be masculine or they are doomed for eternal fire. We create roles for women that some of us were simply not meant to bring into fruition. I see men and women every day in full costume for life. They wear the robe of misrepresentation for the sake of being more palatable to another’s taste -- when these folks wouldn’t change lanes in traffic to suit their commutes. We’ll have plenty of time for you all to get acclimated with me and my experiences, but for now, let’s be clear. Let’s be honest with ourselves and the paths we cross. In these days, I respect the urgency for authenticity.

While there may not be a model to mimic of an amazing lesbian embraced by the masses, sans the aforementioned (Ellen DeGeneres), we as a culture need to embrace truth. Embrace change and respect differences as if they were our own -- in essence, they are. No one wants to fight within themselves -- as well as with society -- about who they are and what they are. It's draining. Trust me; I know! (More on this later.) Do me a solid: Next time you get the notion, just blurt, "Oh, come out already!" even if it's in the mirror.

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