Oh, Goody

Here’s a little something everyone should know: climate change is real, manmade, sucks, and going to suck even harder in the coming decade. Seriously, the only people still doubting it are the asshats running the Petroleum Industries, the twatwaffles on Faux News who parrot whatever the asshats tell them to say, and the people still mistaking Faux News for actual information.

The American Association for the Advancement of Science, which is the world’s largest general scientific society, has published a report on global warming. The report warns “that the effects of human emissions of heat-trapping gases are already being felt, that the ultimate consequences could be dire, and that the window to do something about it is closing.”

“The evidence is overwhelming: Levels of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere are rising,” says the report. “Temperatures are going up. Springs are arriving earlier. Ice sheets are melting. Sea level is rising. The patterns of rainfall and drought are changing. Heat waves are getting worse, as is extreme precipitation. The oceans are acidifying.”

Well, ain’t that dandy?

Meanwhile, almost half of the US population has decided to take the Ostrich Approach and burry their head in the sand to make the problem go away. (Yes, I know ostriches don’t really do that.) I shit you not, “42 percent said the impact of global warming is generally exaggerated while 33 percent said that it is typically underestimated. Just 23 percent believe that reports are generally correct.”

Because what does science know?

Of course, you can guess how this bullshit breaks down along political lines: “68 percent of Republicans think the media is exaggerating when it comes to the phenomenon while 45 percent of independents and 18 percent of Democrats say the same. 49 percent of Democrats say it’s underestimated as do 32 percent of independents and just 15 percent of Republicans.”

Moreover, climate change will maybe make chocolate a distant memory, and for that alone I could slap some Oil Barons.

Jesus wept.


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