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Sparkle (1)
[Editor's Note: Depending how up to date you are on your Gleek Gossip, potential SPOILER ALERT ahead. --Morgan]
Dear Glee,
I go back and forth with you. I love you, I hate you, but I watch you. Every week I watch. Perhaps it’s that I myself was a bit of a choir geek in high school so I can relate to feeling like an outsider and to the stress of regionals. Of course we never got to belt out any Cee Lo, but "Come Sail Away" was a big hit, thank you very much. Choir was a way of life for me as it is for the Gleeks. Thankfully, no one tossed Slushees in our faces, but still ... prom queen I was not.
I count on you, Glee, for catchy songs and dances. This week, the singing was the least interesting thing on the show. I mean Rachel rocked that Kasbah on "Funny Girl." I could listen to that girl belt all day long, but why oh why do I always think her mouth looks like a plunger when she sings? I also count on you for Mike Chang (why isn’t there more delicious Mike Chang? More Mike Chang. Have I mentioned I love Mike Chang?)
(Courtesy of Fox)
What I don’t count on is tears. Oh yeah, I know there’s been some sobby moments before. I mean, hello? Two words: Kurt’s Dad. But this week’s episode actually had me saying to the TV “Oh, screw you, Glee!" Only I didn’t say screw. And also it was through tears and possibly a mouth full of Krispy Kremes. I’m just being honest here. You deserve that much.
I think we can all agree that we love Sue Sylvester. In the hands of a lesser actress this comedic villain could be one note and horribly annoying. But Jane Lynch is an actress who can handle all the intricacies and so much more, creating a villain who breaks our heart one second and has us wanting to throw something at her the next. One of the most brilliant choices made on Glee is her relationship with her sister who has Down Syndrome. It not only makes her human, but because of the type of actor Jane Lynch is it gives us glimpses into why she’s built this angry shell around her without the use of tacky exposition.
Then ... then this week, YOU KILLED HER SISTER! And oh my gah, Kurt and Finn were all helping and sorting through her stuff dragging out a Jean’s pom poms and her tired old VHS of Willy Wonka. (The real one, not that bizarre one where Johnny Depp wasn’t even cute.) Since the young lads have both experienced loss they totally decide to take the funeral into their own hands and do right by Sue’s sister.
Meanwhile, back at the school, Jesse St. James, who has returned for God knows what reason, practically twirled his evil mustache and attempted to stop their good works. But Kurt put down his polished loafer and Finn put down his smelly sneaker and insisted! Glee club will do this! I recap because here is where you destroyed me. Me. A helpless pregnant lady desperate for a glimpse of Mike Chang. Destroyed. I wasn’t ready. It was worse than when I wasn’t ready for the bugged-out return of Gwyneth Paltrow. I wasn’t prepared for the funeral.
Really? Willy Wonka world? And videos of Jean with the aforementioned pom poms? Tears. Pass the Kleenex and another donut, please. As if that weren’t enough, you pull out the big guns: Here they are, the Gleeks singing "In a World of Pure Imagination." Tears turned to sobs. And I quickly tweeted “EFF YOU GLEE. Just EFF YOU!” Quickly I realized I was not the only one having a Steel Magnolias-esque snotty breakdown about it.
And then ... and then, you ruthless bastard, Glee. Close up on Sue reaching for Mr. Schu’s hand. That’s when the sniffly sobs of the past turned into the flat-out blotchy-faced ugly cry, my mouth clearly resembling a plunger as I cried. Somewhere, Rachel Barry laughed.
Yeah, yeah -- other stuff happened after that, but dude! Glee, way to sucker punch us. I’m still a little sobby about it all. What’s next, Glee? A mass New Directions Kitten Slaughter? Mr Schu without enough hair gel to make Ross Gellar proud?
But you can go ahead and put me down as a volunteer for the Sue Sylvester for Congress Campaign. Will Mike Chang
