Oh, Mr. President..............
(I had started to write about this earlier, but had to go to the hospital with my daughter. She decided to get into a skirmish with an old glass door. The door won. Second place got her a tetanus shot and 14 staples in her leg. Ever the optimist, she said her wound looks like a black bird and she will have a tattoo inked over the scar. )
Anyway, here is a portion of President Obama's "proclamation"
"Giving a child a strong foundation -- a home, a family to love, and a safe place to grow -- is one of life's greatest and most generous gifts. Through adoption, both domestic and international, Americans from across our country have provided secure environments for children who need them, and these families have benefited from the joy an adopted child can bring. Thanks to their nurturing and care, more young people have been able to realize their potential and lead full, happy lives. This year, we celebrate National Adoption Month to recognize adoption as a positive and powerful force in countless American lives, and to encourage the adoption of children from foster care.
Currently, thousands of children await adoption or are in foster care, looking forward to permanent homes. These children can thrive, reach their full potential, and spread their wings when given the loving and firm foundation of family. Adoptive families come in many forms, and choose to adopt for different reasons: a desire to grow their family when conceiving a child is not possible, an expression of compassion for a child who would otherwise not have a permanent family, or simply because adoption has personally touched their lives. For many Americans, adoption has brought boundless purpose and joy to their lives. We must do all we can to break down barriers to ensure that all qualified caregivers have the ability to serve as adoptive families"
Read it all here, but it is mostly, blah blah blah, tax credit, blah blah blah, adoptive parents are shining examples, blah blah blah, break down barriers, the end. THERE IS NO TALK OF FAMILY PRESERVATION OR THE RIGHTS OF ADOPTEES.
What about all of the American adoptees who are denied their civil rights because it is against the law for them to have their original birth certificates? What about them, Mr. President? What about the rights of future adoptlings who will have THEIR original identities sealed by their state? What about them?
Yes. I do want all children to have loving homes. In their OWN families. Why no mention of support for families in crisis, or family preservation programs? Oh yeah- because as usual, adoption is made to be about adoptive parents. President Obama does mention Foster Care, which is admirable. Foster Parents are desperately needed for children who are in transition as their natural families get their acts together. But Foster Care should not be the back door to adoption, and it is quickly becoming the back door- a portal, if you will.
This brings me to family values. I really believe we have no family values anymore. If we did, we would be doing everything possible to PREVENT adoption- whether that means easy and affordable birth control, easy and affordable abortion resources (bring it, anti-choice creeps, I can take it) access to health care for all women and children, affordable day care, job training/education resources and more help available for parents who need help.
"But Linda...what about all of those children who are beaten and abused?"
Every measure should be taken so that parents will get help. If they cannot, or will not, then every measure should be taken so that a child stays in his or her NATURAL family. If that cannot happen, then NO SEALED RECORDS!
"But Linda...what about all of those hungry Ethiopian/Chinese/Russian/Haitian babies?"
There are MANY organizations to contribute to that support a child in need, WITHOUT removing them from their native land. Why contribute money to corrupt governments and participate in legalized (and I use the term legalized loosely) human trafficking? Adoption works on a supply and demand basis. Stop demanding to buy children, and the supply WILL dwindle. Be the hope AND the change.
"But Linda....we want a baybeeeee!"
If I were to say publicly that I want to become Johnny Depp's concubine, I also want to be a size 2 and win a fricking Powerball drawing, I know how people would respond to me. They would say "Maybe you should just accept that your body was just not made to be a size 2, or Johnny Depp's mistress." Or, "Maybe you should be happy to be a size 4 6 8 and that you have an ordinary man who loves you with all of his heart. Maybe you should be happy that you have just enough money." They would be right. Maybe YOU should accept that you cannot have children and be the best person you can be WITHOUT buying a child. Become a mentor. Volunteer. Become a Foster Parent with the expectations of helping a child as their natural parents work on their issues.
Of course, maybe I am just hopeful that someday people will realize that someone else's child really isn't going to fix the hurt they have because they cannot have a child of their own. I lived it. It didn't fix my parents, and it sure as hell didn't fix me.
No maybe about it, I am disappointed by this "proclamation" from my President.
ps- Im so over going to emergency rooms. For realz. Id like to get through a week before the next one. Im totally jinxing myself and my loved ones by saying that.