Okay Now It's Getting Real

Today I finally got notification of the upcoming window opening (like maybe THURSDAY!!) for the first exam. This is where the rubber hits the road - I don't plan on not passing, but theoretically speaking, a person who fails the exam has to wait 30 days and pay for another try. That is not an option. I took a practice exam this afternoon and didn't do so well. Okay, I flunked. Was I not taking it seriously? I don't know - this seems to have been dragging on for a very long time and I may have lost focus. Well, I need to elevate my game (I hear my husband's voice in my head telling me that - he made me write it on an index card and tape it to the mirror when I made yet another careless mistake because I assumed I knew what to do).

The temptation when something drags on for me is to blow it off and not work really hard at it. I know this about myself, and I know I tend to leave things until the last minute. Here I have been working really hard at playing Words With Friends instead of re-reading and learning all this stuff about mutual funds. Okay, so I know a bunch about mutual funds already, but FINRA is not playing around and they want to know that I know about laws and things.

So. Tomorrow I am expecting to receive an email that the window is opening for the exam, and I will then pray about when to schedule the exam and then get back to taking practice exams and take them seriously!

Tomorrow I also get to tell the story of Matthew 6:5-13 in Life Group. I got sick the last time I volunteered, so I am doing a make-up session. This lesson is about how to pray, and what not to do. [I used to quote the part about lots of words to my husband, because the man could pray for days! It was pretty well known among our friends not to let him pray over the food if you wanted it to be hot ;-)]

We also had lots of discussions about the forgiveness part. I know so many people who forget that, myself included I'm sure. I think my favorite illustration of the effect of unforgiveness is that it is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Because of the danger of harboring unforgiveness, we used to make a point of asking for and granting forgiveness during the church service before giving the tithe and especially before taking communion. I don't remember the last time I did that - I need to make myself a reminder because he is not here to do it for me.

I plan on reading some other versions, particularly The Message, to get a different perspective. It's interesting to me how many ways it can be interpreted, and what a huge difference it is possible to have in the meaning of the original Greek. He used to have me read from the Hebrew/Greek intralinear Bible and it was amazing. I haven't pulled it out since early September, but it's not going anywhere. The print is really tiny so I'm not in a hurry to jump back in. Anyway, nothing like leaving it to the last day to finish my study. I've known the verses to be covered since Sunday.

I think my point is that it's easy to take the low road and just drift along. Like Scarlett O'Hara, we will think about it tomorrow. I have news for me, my friend - that won't work if we plan to grow up in our spiritual walk. We can't stay babies forever, and we can't let other people take the responsibility for our actions and our faith. We have to develop our own. After all, I want to be like one of the wise virgins and have my lamp full and ready to go when the Bridegroom comes. His Word is a lamp unto my feel and a light unto my path (Ps 119:105), so I need to fill up on it and have it be who I am.

And that is real.


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