Older Women and Sex Tourism
by Grace Davis

As I was surfing the blogosphere for the elder beat, I came across this Reuters report:

Older white women join Kenya's sex tourists
By Jeremy Clarke

MOMBASA, Kenya, Nov 26 (Reuters) - Bethan, 56, lives in southern England on the same street as best friend Allie, 64.

They are on their first holiday to Kenya, a country they say is "just full of big young boys who like us older girls".

Hard figures are difficult to come by, but local people on the coast estimate that as many as one in five single women visiting from rich countries are in search of sex.

The 2006 movie Heading South comes to mind, described by the New York Times reviewer Elizabeth Hayt as a film...

"...about older single women visiting 1970’s Haiti in a female version of sex tourism.

The women in the film, in their late 40’s and 50’s, are spending a vacation at a resort where impoverished local beach boys serve as holiday gigolos. The teenagers devote themselves to nourishing the women’s starved libidos in exchange for food, gifts and temporary refuge from the perils of the island’s repressive regime.

Are these indicators of sexual liberation for older women? Amy at Amy's Robot emphatically says yes and salutes these women in her post Young Kenyan men enjoy same gifts-for-sex benefits young women have had for centuries..

She gives a nod to the old adage of what's good for the goose is good for the gander:

Old, wealthy sugar daddies everywhere have long enjoyed taking much younger women out, showering them with gifts, and having sex with them. Some might go so far as to marry them (Billy Joel, Donald Trump, Fred Thompson, Ben Kingsley, Les Moonves, I could go on all day) but plenty more just enjoy the arm candy for a while then drop them (George Soros).

She also believes that the young men in service to these women receive benefits in return:

At last, young men from poor countries with little opportunity for living in economic security get to enjoy the same temporary access to nice clothes and fancy dinners that young American women have been hustling to get their hands on forever! Why should sex-for-goods be exclusively a rich man/poor woman transaction? I'm so glad to see these enterprising young African men are finally able to exploit their youthful hotness with all the savvy of a midwestern high school dropout draping herself over aging producers at Hollywood parties.

22 year-old Joseph, a Kenyan man who says he has slept with over 100 white women, says:

"When I go into the clubs, those are the only women I look for now," he told Reuters. "I get to live like the rich mzungus (white people) who come here from rich countries, staying in the best hotels and just having my fun.

At Under the Canopy, blogger Ipanema suggests there might be no harm in these holiday trysts:

Perhaps these ladies are having a good time. And I think it is not bad to enjoy the years when personal happiness is underneath sagging skin. At 50+ and 60+ and financially secure, they have means to satisfy what seems to be an arid sex life. I am beginning to think that perhaps 60 is the new 40.

But, African American author/blogger Monica Jackson calls out the racism in these sex holidays:

...older white women are sex tourists in Kenya! They are going there just to get boned by fine young black men. Don't they realize that once you try black you don't go back? (snort)

And, Jill at Feministe calls out the power imbalance and exploitation in this arrangement "...where black men are accessories for consumption, kind of like the beaded African necklaces the women take back home."

People are not souvenir beads; they are not exotic pets to experiment with on vacation. I’m not against sex work, and I’m not suggesting that the men discussed in this article have no agency. But I am suggesting that it’s impossible to divorce this scenario from a history of racism, colonialism, and the use of black bodies for the pleasure and service of white people.

You can count on me to be the first to jump up and applaud older women who are comfortable and confident in their sexuality, particularly in a culture where such women are reduced to unseemly caricatures (the current ageist/sexist lexicon being the MILF and the cougar). I also appreciate why some bloggers sing the praises of bold women who visit a tropical locale to pursue their sensual desires, women who know what they want and go out and get it.

However, as explored in the feminist and African American blogs, this is a scenario with many disturbing intersections, a collision of racism, economic and social inequality, European colonialism, the possible emergence of another AIDS vector in these groups of women (the incidence of AIDS in people over 50 increased by 500% between 1995 and 2003), and gender stereotyping.

An aspect that has not been considered is the sheer sensationalism of this Reuters report. Female sex tourism has a long history, mentioned in academic papers and popular literature (James Michener's voluminous "Hawaii" includes an entire chapter dedicated to the story of a virile Waikiki beach boy charged with the intimate care of wealthy female visitors). Clearly, this story has been told before, why is this being brought up now?

The racist and exploitative issues notwithstanding, what has been most troubling to me were the ugly ageist responses to this story from primarily male bloggers:

"What hath the feminist revolution brought? In Kenya it has brought wrinkled white women looking for a good time with a young man."

"A word of warning: don't think about a middle-aged or elderly woman you know while you read this story. It'll put you off your lunch."

"It seems lot's of old gals are hiking up their support hose, smearing on the red lipstick, festooning the wig and headin' off to Africa for a safari....a love safari...a very wrinkly love safari."

But, what's new? These same tired insults are hurled at any older woman enjoying her sexuality, whether on the beaches of Mombasa or Miami, with a hired lover or her own husband.

Grace Davis, Contributing Editor, Life/Elders, also blogs at State of Grace

Comments

 

Very interesting read -

Very interesting read - thank you.

www.donmillsdiva.blogspot.com

 

And, thanks for dropping by, Ms. Diva!

Indeed, it is an interesting, provocative situation.

I appreciate your comment.

Grace Davis
Contributing Editor, Life
State of Grace

 

Way toooo risky!

I too applaud older women for going out and being sexual with younger man - Hoorah - but the thought of random sex with strangers in a world plagued by HIV/AIDS is just too dangerous. Even with condoms, they are at risk and who knows whether these men might also be violent.

I vote for these women meeting and getting to know younger men who are open to their needs and relationship style (casual or otherwise) then getting tested before doing the deed!

No matter what the ages, ethnicities or casualness of the encounter, a woman should never risk her health or life with a lover!

That said, you go gals!
Helene
The Modern Woman's Divorce Guide
http://themodernwomansdivorceguide.com

 

Point Well Taken, Helene

As you said -

I vote for these women meeting and getting to know younger men who are open to their needs and relationship style (casual or otherwise) then getting tested before doing the deed!

- Surely there are venues for such encounters, or, certainly sex workers/escorts for women. We certainly don't hear about such opportunities provided for women. We most certainly hear about the legalized prostitution industry in Nevada that is directed primarily to male clients. Again, taboo for women in this culture to even consider taking advantage of such services.

Grace Davis
Contributing Editor, Life/Elders
State of Grace

 

This Gives Me The Shivers...

I know what the women are going through - need are needs. I respect that. If it is consensual sex I don't have a problem with pay for play if everybody understands the terms of conjugation.

But that equality thing keeps ringing in my head. If you told me that a bunch of middle aged men traveled to a country to seek out teenage girl sex partners I'd want to meet the fellas at the airport with a spike baseball bat.

Now if the young men were 21+ and wanted to do the bouncy-bouncy I say rock on. The teenage boy aspect creeps me out. The economic dependence of the young men who find themselves in the sex trade creeps me out. AIDS is nothing to fool with and I'd hate to be the medical investigator who has to track down the sex partners of an infected sex worker.

It hurts the local women too, the sex workers only look for the tourists so that makes the locals catch an economic freeze out. Where are they going to go when they have an itch? To be honest, I don't wanna be sucking on anyone I could have given birth to within the past 20 years.

Now if they got some rusty-dustys that are able to function that is a whole other story.

Gena - Out On The Stoop

 

It's my understanding that the encounters are
consensual...

...as described in the Reuters article. Also, the young men involved are generally in their early 20s.

Indeed, the social disruption in the countries known for sex tourism is considerable. A commenter at Feministe provided a cogent example of how sex tourism intrudes upon the local community:

What gets lost in the shuffle is the havoc it creates in the relationships between native people in the community.

Agreed. One can observe this dynamic in play with how young Japanese and Korean women working as prostitutes near post-war American military bases were disdained and ostracized to the fringes by their respective societies not only for being involved in prostitution, but also for serving American soldiers and thus, being stuck with the “colonialist collaborator” tag.

So much for thinking that there's no harm done on these vacation flings.

And, Gena? Your keen observation -

To be honest, I don't wanna be sucking on anyone I could have given birth to within the past 20 years.





- is duly noted and much appreciated. And, I concur.

Grace Davis
Contributing Editor, Life/Elders
State of Grace

 

seems to me

This sounds like women using the word "equality" to justify acting like men acting like fools. They could pay for sex in America. Maybe not from a Kenyan, but pay-as-you-go plans are readily available here. Paid sex isn't usually about sex anyway, it's about the exercise of power. Oh goodie, we can objectify men as easily as they can objectify women. And the racial overtone leaves me darned queazy, too.......this is not about celebrating sexuality any more than the male sex tours to Thailand to find young girls are a celebration. This is just creepy.

.~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs relentlessly at Time's Fool

 

Poverty and sex

I question the value to an older woman who needs to find someone in a vulnerable position to get sex. It's easy to brush it off as young men getting some benefit, but it's still having to go to someone who is in a vulnerable situation to get sex. I also question how much choice is really involved in an unequal space. These young men may be showing brash and comfortable, but would they if they didn't have to sleep on the streets? There are many shades to choice and they are often coloured by power and control.

I can also understand that some women are ignorant of the local situation and merely think these young men like older women. Then again I've never had much patience for people who don't educate themselves.

Using sex to get off the street or get an income is an old and can be a useful tactic. It would be better if there were enough services to make it unnecessary. If there were older people of either gender or any colour would find it harder to pick up a young prostitute. Name it properly, it's prostitution and paying for sex either with money or goods and services.