OMG! I'm a Very Sad Grandmother

BlogHer Original Post

Being in Hawaii for the birth of my first grandchild was an awesome experience. Spending the first two weeks of his life with him was awesome, too. But leaving was most definitely NOT awesome. I knew it was going to be hard -- but I underestimated just how hard.

I really loved that first week of Johnny Mac Pippin's life. Being there around the clock to watch him and his mother become expert at the whole breastfeeding thing -- counting poops and pees -- being the first one to volunteer to change a diaper -- being the one to try to wake him up to nurse so that he wouldn't be up all night long -- stealing him from his mom's arms while he was sleeping -- walking past him and sniffing him because he smells so darn good -- hearing him fuss in the bedroom at midnight and 1am and 3am and 5am -- watching his parents discover how to soothe him -- handing my daughter cabbage leaf compresses for sore breasts -- going to that first doctor visit -- all glorious things that I am so glad I got to experience.

During the second week of Johnny Mac Pippin's life, I moved to a cottage a mile and a half from him and that was tough. 11pm and I was wondering how he was doing. I woke at 1am wondering if he was sleeping or keeping his parents awake. By 4:30am, I was wide awake and we would start our day so that we could be back to sniff him again before 7am.

Most of that second week, TW and I would leave him for long stretches of time to be tourists, and while we had a great time, I admit to missing JMP so much that I almost didn't let myself enjoy hiking Diamond Head and Snorkeling at Hanauma Bay and wandering around the North Shore. Gazing at Johnny Mac Pippin was better than any view Oahu had to offer.

And sure enough, two weeks after JMP was born -- we left Hawaii and I can't even begin to tell you how hard that was. How hard it still is, two days later. How hard I'm sure it's going to be weeks from now, as I reload Facebook and Instagram searching for new pictures and pick up the phone, wondering if I missed the text message chime updating me on JMP's growth. (He weighed in at 8lbs 11oz on his two week check-up! So much for babies struggling to gain in the first weeks of life -- I told you that he and his mom are experts at the whole nursing thing!)

Yesterday, a very nice BlogHer member left a comment asking when we'd see JMP again and I got a lump in my throat. I have no idea. Hawaii is very far away and we'll be paying for this trip for a good long while. How in the heck are we going to swing another trip in the near future? I just don't know -- but I have to figure it out because Johnny Mac Pippin is already growing up and it's going to get tougher to be so far away with each new milestone he reaches. We can already see how he's growing in the two days we've been gone -- Gah!

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager
Life. Flow. Fluctuate.

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