Once upon a time...
By DonnaWannaHolla on November 05, 2011
…there was a princess who lived with her mother, the queen.
But the queen died and I so miss my mom. I have been thinking about her a lot lately – Falling back to crystal clear childhood memories of a beautiful smiling face with straight black hair that fell down her back like smooth satin. Her hair wasn’t like mine at all….. my hair is dark brown and fizzy if I’m not careful. Her hair was smooth and shiny – like a river of black flowing down her back. I remember how everyone asked her if she was greek and she would laugh. My mom was part Seminole indian and had this charitable heart of gold. The thing she loved most about receiving gifts was to give them again to someone who was down.
She died on Feb 16th, 2008 and the events of that day play over and over in my head like a movie I can’t stop. My mom was sick with colitis and we were all worried about her….. but people don’t die from colitis. My sister was driving to see her and talking to me on the phone (headset). My oldest brother was already there. My sister had just talked to him and had called me after and I remember that something she said made me suddenly worry. She told me I should just call and talk to them but I decided to wait till later. Not long after we hung up she called me back and I can still hear her voice yelling “Donna, mama died!” and next thing I knew I was crying uncontrollably into the kitchen linoleum. My husband picked me up and took me to bed and arranged everything….. He was a Godsend during that time.
Well, for some reason I’ve been thinking of her a lot these last few weeks. I actually dyed my hair black to see if I would look more like she did in my memories. I used a dye that washes out in 28 washes just in case I looked more like Elvira. Of course I don’t have the boobs for that though. I determined that it didn’t make much difference since I can still see my dad’s side of the family in me but for some reason my husband has been wanting me to wash my hair more often.
Last night I made myself some tomato soup with rice in it. My mom used to make that for me when I was not feeling well only she didn’t use Campbell’s soup and minute rice. It wasn’t the same but it was close. It made me cry and wish she were here so I could tell her I miss her.
My husband I went out to run some errands today and I got cold again. It was pretty out though and the sky was mostly clear and the sun was bright! The frozen black branches of the birches glittered like they were coated in sugar. I love it when my husband drives and I can take pictures through the car window… sometimes I use them for paintings later and just omit things like telephone poles and taco bells banners.
I went by the library and picked up a book I’ve been wanting to read called Forgotten Household Crafts. It must be a good book because every time I tried to find it, it was already checked out. Or it was in North Pole. Maybe Mrs. Claus was reading it?
There actually is a small town about 30 minutes from here called North Pole and it is decorated like Christmas all year around. Anyway, this time I wised up and put the book on hold and now it’s here waiting for me to read! For now I need to paint though… my brushes are calling me.
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