Once Upon a Time I Married a Hoodlum & Why I Admire Kim Kardashian

Once upon a time, I married a hoodlum. Yep - that DID happen and this did too:

  • Once upon a time, there was a drive-by shooting at my home - while I was in it. -while I was feeding my children. But no one died, so it wasn't really all that bad.
  • Once upon a time, I was handcuffed in a jail cell and in the next cell...was my hoodlum husband. We were arrested because he had a stolen hand gun in the car, but it wasn't really that bad since the gun didn't work anyhow, and we got to be in jail together y'all - it was so romantic!
  • Once upon a time, my hoodlum husband was literally stabbed in the back - TWICE, by his brother. And because the cops believed we were stupid, simple, people, they believed me when I told them my hoodlum husband hurt himself juggling knives- on a dare. And since he didn't die, it wasn't really that bad, was it?
  • Once upon a time, over Thanksgiving, my hoodlum husband's brother flew across the table, OVER the turkey andkicked his younger brother in the head. The younger brother *totally* deserved it since he was arguing with the older brother. He needed to learn to respect his elders, -right? And plus, it wasn't really that bad since the concussion only lasted a few days and he can *totally* see fine out of his right eye. You only need one good eye anyhow.
  • Once upon a time, I had to borrow the limit on all of my credit cards to pay off my hoodlum husband's gambling debts. I mean, it wasn't really that bad, right? Although we could have paid for our kid's first year of college with that money, who needs college anyway?
  • And I LOVE this one - once upon a time, my hoodlum husband got into a fist fight at a wedding. It wasn't reallythat bad, right? I mean, it wasn't like it was his sister's wedding or anything. And plus, they *totally* looked at him the wrong way.
  • Or how about this one: once upon a time, my hoodlum husband had his throat slit by a rival gang. It wasn't really that bad, right? I mean it could have been *totally* worse. I mean, he doesn't need to talk that loudly anyway.
Just kidding, I made that last one up. OK, I just made up the part that it was my hoodlum husband. He's now my hoodlumex-husband. But, he did get his throat slit by a rival gang. And he can't talk loudly anymore. That did happen.

OK, so maybe you *totally* would stay married to a hoodlum if he looked like Justin Timberlake, but seriously, you SHOULDN'T.

You're probably wondering WHY? WHY? oh WHY?


Here's the kicker - Once upon a time, I was married to my hoodlum husband for THIRTEEN, torturous, hellish, miserable years. THIRTEEN years y'all.


THIRTEEN years is a fucking long time to be miserable.


Why did I endure this for so long? I'm happy to report that I have beenhoodlum husband-free for over 5 years. Why did it take me so long to realize this wasn't the life I wanted, nor needed, and that I deserved better?

  • I'm a catholic - they don't believe in divorce. Catholic guilt can do that to a girl.
  • I was trying to be a good wife and stand by my husband.
  • It wasn't really that bad.
  • I mean, he never beat me, right?
  • I mean, he never cheated on me. right?
  • I didn't want to be judged.
And when I finally divorced the hoodlum, my biggest regret, is that I let it go on for THIRTEEN years. I realized that life was too short to put up with "really not that bad." And since I was living a lie of a life, living a sham of a life, and living a life that was devoid of the love, laughter and joy that I was brought up to expect, I woke up one day and realized:

I can't live this way.

"Not that bad" is not even remotely good. It's not even remotely OK.

I wanted more. I craved more with all my heart and every ounce of my soul. And having starved myself from love and light for thirteen years, I was starving for life.

REAL life.

  • The kind of life where passion happens.
  • The kind of life where understanding happens.
  • The kind of life where love lived in place of where my fear of life lived.
  • The kind of life that knocked your socks off with its sheer greatness.

I wanted a life worthy of living.

I was taught to want AH.MAZ.ING.NESS. in my life. Why was I even putting up with this shit?

Would Kim Kardashian put up with this shit? Would Kim Kardashian, even for a minute, think that "it's not really thatbad" was evenly remotely OK? Not for a second. Not for a minute. And definitely not for THIRTEEN years.

Why do I admire Kim Kardashian? Here's a woman who doesn't put up with shit - not for a minute. The moment she realized that this wasn't for her - she filed for divorce. And for all those people that feel she did it for a publicity stunt?



Again, Kim Kardashian is a woman who knows what she wants and makes no apologies getting what she wants. If the whole marriage was a publicity stunt, it's her perogative. So what is she's a driven career woman who knows what she wants and how to get it? She's a TV personality. It's her job y'all. Stop giving the woman a hard time for doing her fucking job. OR for wanting a better life. Or for not putting up with any male shit -ever.

Not even for a second.


Life is short y'all. Don't waste thirteen years doing something you don't want to do, being someone you don't want to be, putting up with crap because "it's not that bad." Whether it's your life, your marriage, or your career. Better yet. Be like Kim Kardsashian and don't waste a single second.

Ask yourself, "What would Kim Kardashian do?" (WWKKD for short)


-getting shit done.

PS - I'm not saying that Chris Humphries is a hoodlum. He's just not what Kim wants.

And that's reason enough.

This week I'm linking up to LOVELINKS:

If you liked this post, please click on LOVE LINKS and vote for me on THURSDAY, December 8th, 2011 once you're on the LOVE LINKS page!

Ninja BITCH, CEO is a blogger. You can read my blogs, follow @ninjabitchceo, or like me on facebook!


In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.

Trending Now