One and Done: We're a Family of Three
By The JJ Project on August 15, 2013
Featured Member Post
"When are you having more kids?" It's a question I hear quite frequently. I don't dislike the question; I am not offended by the question. I don't hold anything against those who ask it. Ultimately, I am just surprised by how many people assume we will have more children.
I remember growing up, everyone always wanted two or three children. It seemed like it was usually the number of children in your family. I know three was always my number. But life changed. I didn't find the love of my life until my mid-thirties, and at that point, three children wasn't as much of a reality. I'm not sure when my view changed and I'm not sure if it was my age that prompted it, but at some point, it just hit me that I only wanted one child.
I don't feel like I need to justify my reasoning for being perfectly content with one child, but maybe just explain to help others understand that parenting multiple children just isn't for everyone.
First of all, I'm 40. And unfortunately, my ovaries think I'm 50. For those that have followed my blog since it began, you know that conceiving my amazing child was not an easy task. I went through a lot of fertility treatments (granted much less than many others), a lot of stress and heartbreak, and a lot of money. If I truly wanted another child, I would not hesitate to go through all that again, but considering the risks that come with getting pregnant at this age, it just isn't worth it for me.
Second, those little rug rats are a lot of work. I have enjoyed every minute of chasing JJ around, taking him to the aquarium and the petting zoo, and all the other crazy activities we do, but the days of sleeping in and lounging around the house doing nothing all weekend are long gone. Would I rather be lounging around all weekend? Absolutely not. But putting this much work into one child is enough for me. I just know I don't have the energy to do it again.
Third, those little rug rats are also a lot of money. Worth every penny? You bet. But I'm not afraid to admit I like nice things and I want to be able to buy nice things for my family. If I throw another child into the equation, I'd be throwing more nice things out the window, including nice toys for my kiddo. Therefore, I choose to spoil the one I've got like crazy and be perfectly happy with that.
Last, I like to experience new things, but once I've done it, I'm good and I'm ready to move on to the next new thing. For example -- When I was 35, I set a goal to run a half marathon. During my months of training, numerous people told me I would get addicted and want to run more. Didn't happen. I ran my one half, loved it, and never plan to run that far again in my life. I feel the same way about children. I experienced pregnancy (and I am one of those crazy people that loved being pregnant), I experienced childbirth, and I've experience raising a baby. Now that I have those all crossed off my list, I don't have the desire within me to experience them again. And the great thing is that raising a child is a new experience every day, so I get to keep getting my fill of new, without having to do it all over again.
So there you have it. Call it being lazy, call it being cheap, call it being selfish, but I call it just knowing that my family of three is the perfect family for me.