One step forward, two steps back…
I know relationship weren’t meant to be perfect but it seems to me that during this time that my boyfriend and I are on this “journey to understanding our relationship,” we would make a conscious effort to do things better than we’ve done before. The purpose of this journey is to understand the significance of our relationship and what sacrifices we should make in order to strengthen the relationship. However, if we are angry or frustrated with each other during this journey then it clouds the clarity that we are trying to achieve.
If we are upset with each other while we are going down this path, then those negative emotions could lead us down a path that we weren’t designed to go.
But when my boyfriend does insensitive things (consciously or unconsciously), then I have no choice but to be upset and frustrated. When my boyfriend schedules a time for us to talk over the phone and then misses that time by an hour because he was playing video games, how else am I supposed to feel besides annoyed and angry?
I’m trying to suppress those negative emotions but he’s making it so hard! Normally, I would give him the benefit of the doubt, but it seems to me that he’s not trying at all.
Or I could be being dramatic and that was just one night, one missed phone call, and one part of the journey. Maybe, by definition, the journey must have this forward and backward movement. I guess if everything was perfect during this journey, that could also lead us down a wrong path as well….
Maybe what this “journey” we are going down is teaching us about is the journey of life and marriage with each other. Maybe there must be ups and downs in this journey, and times of angry and frustration in this journey, because that’s realistic to life. Maybe I’m supposed to be learning how to learn from them and move on from them.
…one step forward, two steps back….ALL part of the journey!