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I tend to approach the holiday season with some trepidation. The peculiar quirks of my life circumstances have left me at an nontraditional point in my life during a time of year filled with traditions. I'm single and do not have children so I don't bother with Christmas decorations. I put up lights on my house one year and my neighbors welcomed me into the neighborhood tradition of setting up an outdoor Christmas tree. After I eagerly decorated it, others in the neighborhood welcomed me in a different way by breaking or removing all the lights I had strung and stealing the other decorations. Bah Humbug.
Indoor decorations are similarly scarce. It does not make sense to set up a tree given that I generally receive just one token gift from our extended family Christmas Eve gift exchange and that is if I'm in town. My niece and nephews are all scattered around the country so I am relegated to attempting to spoil them via the postal service. When I was in graduate school and working out of state, I often was unable to come home for the holidays so if I celebrated or enjoyed decorations it was if classmates or co-workers invited me to their homes.
I'm thrilled when anyone sends me a paper card and I display them alongside a blue tinsel tree I got from the dollar bin at Target. However, as more people send electronic card or join me in not putting pressure on ourselves to maintain a list, cheery paper greetings are dwindling over time.
Although it sounds like I'm throwing myself a pity party, really I am not. I recognize that I have options and choices. One Easter while in school, I had a holiday get together for my classmates who were also staying at school and it was wonderful. Other holidays I have done volunteer work. I know that if I want to be out of the house and in the company of others I can.
Unfortunately though, another bad habit of mine is that I am both an information junkie and somewhat of a workaholic. I regularly sit in front of my computer for twelve or more hours a day. If I'm flying solo on a holiday it generally is no exception. Plus, year end often brings extra work that I need to attend to so my tendencies can get exacerbated.
All this adds up to my befuddlement when I was asked what is the one thing I would shamelessly enjoy this holiday season. To shamelessly enjoy sounds naughty - as if I would be ashamed to enjoy it any other time of year. And to enjoy particularly around this time of year implies that it would be something special in conjunction with the season.
So thinking cap on, I have been running through my options. I could shamelessly enjoy that I inadvertently led people yesterday to think that I had authored an account of having a sugar daddy. Or perhaps I could smugly enjoy that even though, despite being in California, I am indoors and currently wearing three layers of clothing (including wool and down) and mittens with the heater turned on, at least I no longer have to operate a snow blower like some people I know.
Those are cheap and easy options, though. I decided that I needed to get creative. I could go to the movies and watch whatever I wanted all day long. Except that I really prefer outings in the company of others so that would rank low on the enjoyment meter. I thought back to this Kindle fantasy I've been having. Ever since learning that it operates on some magic airwaves frequency so that you can on a whim download stuff, I've imagined that one day I could lie in bed and leisurely peruse blogs and newspapers and read books. But Kindles are now back ordered for months and frankly, I don't need a Kindle to do all that.
But that did lead me to an idea. One day this holiday season, perhaps Christmas Day or New Years Eve, I am going to check out of working, reading email and doing anything I "have" to do. It will probably make my skin crawl at first. But I am going to attempt to shamelessly enjoy me. Just being me and being with me and doing whatever I want to do and nothing I feel I have to do. Maybe not the most creative idea out
