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If you’re curious about online dating, the easiest way to ease yourself into such a situation is to ask people who have already tried it for themselves. What did they think? Did it work for them? Would they recommend it? At the age of 28, I’ve never participated in what I would consider to be full-fledged online dating -- that is, I’ve never been a member of a site that I had to pay for.
As a social media user, I did sign up with MySpace a number of years ago. I’ve met and talked to a number of men through that site, but it doesn’t have the best reputation for being a go-to site for dating. (I'm sure there are plenty of quality men who use MySpace. It’s just more difficult to pick through their profiles since they aren’t typically set up very well with “let me describe myself”-type information.)
I recently got it in my head that I’m ready to try something new, so I started asking questions. I let it slip to several people that I’ve been thinking about venturing into the online dating world, and the responses have been largely encouraging.
The general consensus? As long as I choose the right photos, there’s a good chance I’ll get a fair number of responses. People have said it will likely be a good ego boost. (Interestingly enough, I just realized that nobody said anything about choosing the right words to describe myself. Maybe because the text itself isn’t the most important factor in an online profile?)
Like pretty much every big decision I make, I realize I’ve been putting a lot of advance thought into this whole thing -- as opposed to just jumping in, creating a profile, paying a fee, and seeing what happens. It’s funny. I’ve been encouraging to other people who wanted to try online dating, and I don’t have anything against it personally, but I’ve never been wild about using this particular method to meet someone.
It’s hard to explain why that’s the case, mainly because I don’t have one, good, concrete reason why I’ve been putting this off. It’s not like I think online daters are weirdos, and I’m not worried about being stalked. (I do know that people tend to misrepresent themselves, though, and attempting to weed through that nonsense won’t always be fun.)
Some of my reticence is simply due to the time factor. I have to be willing to devote the time needed to look at profiles, read and respond to emails, coordinate dates and -- at some point -- meet these people in person. I also realize that doing this could change my life, and that’s one of the reasons I’ve waited so long to try it. (I don’t mean “change my life” in terms of “I’m going to meet my soul mate tomorrow!” It has more to do with voluntarily introducing emotions back into my life that I haven’t had to deal with in a while. Happiness, sadness, excitement, nervous stomach fluttering -- and those inevitable dashes of insecurity.)
Despite all that, I’ve decided that I’m ready. Now the decision turns to which dating service I should use. I’ve heard good things on separate occasions about Match, Yahoo Personals, eHarmony -- even Craigslist. I’ve also heard the advice about signing up for all of these services if you really want to be successful, but...baby steps, people. I think I’ll start with one and see what happens.
Any recommendations?
Related Reading:
Julie isn’t having a lot of luck with online dating so far.
Michelle says that online dating is old hat. The new way to find true love is through a DNA test.
Velvet in Dupont did a lot of dating before falling in love with a friend.
Sue Mittenthal and Linda Reing at the Huffington Post: 10 Dos And Don'ts Of Online Dating
Judy McGuire at TheFrisky.com: Dating Don’ts: How Not To Get A Second Date
(Contributing Editor Zandria led the 20-Something Bloggers meetup a few days ago at BlogHer '08 in San Francisco. She blogs regularly at Keep Up With Me.)
