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I joined Match.com a little over a year ago, in July 2008. It was a decision I put some thought into before I joined, but I don't recall having any huge expectations. In hindsight, though, this past year has made me a different person, and also, I believe, changed me for the better. The best part is, after all the conversations I've had with so many different guys over the past twelve months, I'm so much more comfortable talking to new people.
Not all of the experiences have been good, of course, but cumulatively I feel like my life would have been much, much different this past year if I'd made the decision not to try online dating. Not so much because of the boring dates -- the times I forced myself to sit through an hour at dinner because I didn't want to seem rude -- but because of a few men who I ended up seeing on a recurring basis. Especially the ones who ended up becoming friends.
(That's always harder, though, isn't it? Taking a dating situation to a friend-situation? At least if there were any kind of feelings involved. Most of my guy-friends are men I've never dated -- I met them through friends or work or school. It tends to be easier that way.)
I was thinking about all this the other day when I clicked on the "Rejected" folder in the Gmail account I created specifically for all of my Match emails and winks to go into. See, whenever I get an email or wink that I don't want to respond to, I label it "Rejected" and file it away. (For people that I've actually exchanged emails with, they get a folder with their first name and screen name.)
As of today, there are 628 emails in my Rejected folder. (But just too clarify, some of those emails are duplicates -- men who have attempted to contact me multiple times, or who sent both an email and a wink at the same time.)
I haven't been keeping track of the number of men I've actually met in person, but I went through my folders today and counted the names of men I remember meeting face-to-face. I came up with 20. That's not including at least 5-6 people who I met offline, so I'd say that I've gone out with at least 25 people in the past 12 months. (And keep in mind, I've been out with some of those people on multiple occasions.)
I'm sure that will seem like a lot to some people, and not very much to others. If you think about it, it's an average of two new people a month. Totally manageable. But how it really worked out is different. There were some instances where I met 3-4 men in one week, but then I'd go weeks at a time without meeting anyone new. And of course the number of new dates would slow down when I was dating someone in particular that I liked.
Earlier this year, when I was dating one person regularly for four months, I only met 2-3 other people during that entire four-month span. And in the past few months, I haven't met any new Match-people at all. The people I've gone out with have all been men I met offline.
Even though I've gone through some tough times, I'm glad I made the decision to put myself out there and meet so many new people. I would certainly prefer that it not be so many new people in the future, but I know that my experiences this past year have been good for me. And I haven't canceled my Match subscription yet.
Here's a recap of some of my dating experiences since July '08:
Last July, the decision to try online dating in the first place wasn't an easy one.
Like pretty much every big decision I make, I realize I've been putting a lot of advance thought into this whole thing -- as opposed to just jumping in, creating a profile, paying a fee, and seeing what happens. It's funny. I've been encouraging to other people who wanted to try online dating, and I don't have anything against it personally, but I've never been wild about using this particular method to meet someone.
I posted about my personal do's and don'ts.
With the combination of my past dating experience
