Open for additions...

I recently had the pleasure of spending time with a dear friend and her adorable daughter. While the kids played under our supervision we were able to catch up on each others lives and be refreshed by some adult conversation. The topic of adoption came up, as it typically does being so close to my heart, and we ventured into discussing how one goes about beginning an adoption. A process so long and intensive can seem overwhelming and unmanageable to anyone looking in from the outside. I began to think about how I was at the onset of my first Ethiopian adoption and how the road seemed impossible, full of terms and words that we're more foreign to me that the country I was about to visit, yet somehow we managed successfully. This led me to a desire to piece together a simplified step by step guide to map anyone in or to those considering the path of adoption to grow their family. I would love for anyone out in the blogging world to add to the list as they see fit. We are all in this together and everyone's advice and insight is greatly appreciated and ultimately necessary!

Step 1 :Pray

Voice your concerns, thoughts, ideas, and visions unto the ultimate Man in charge. This could quite possibly be one of the biggest life changing decisions of your life up to now. There is no looking back once you submit yourself to this particular calling. Having been there and done that, I can't imagine one reason why you'd ever want to turn back... A miracle unfolded before our eyes with Charlotte. Pray for patience, guidance and complete submission.

Step 2 :Research

Know what your options are as far as international and home study agencies are concerned. Compose a list of your "needs and wants" and be sure to ask a ton of questions and get answers.  Don't compromise but don't expect complete satisfaction every step of the way either. Life isn't perfect neither are adoption agencies... Know your battles and fight accordingly.

Step 3 :Decide     

Commit to an agency and move forward. Choose a country and be excited. Decisions need to be made and these are the primary foundation for what is to come. Understand that these seemingly scary choices are bringing you closer to your child or children. Don't over think just pick. 

Step 4 :Work

Get ready to dive head first into more paperwork that you can imagine. Remember your final term paper prior to college graduation? Take that and multiply it by ten and then multiply again by 1000 - this is your dossier.  Prepare yourself for tons of emails, late nights at the photocopier, a budding friendship with the post office employees and an inability to sleep due to the endless "To Do" list that continuously runs through your head 24/7. Know that this is a necessary evil but it's not rocket science, you'll be fine and it will get done; it just takes time.

Step 5 :Live

Don't get so overtly caught up in the longing and the wait that you forget where you are and what you have. It is so easy to get so involved in the wanting that you develop an inability to enjoy life leading up to referral.

Step 6 :Embrace

The end is beautiful, your baby or babies are in your arms and life is unparalleled. The first time your eyes lock will change everything about your capacity to love and I'm smiling just now thinking about this moment for each of you.

Step 7 :Transition

You're home, you're together and you're different. Life has changed in more ways than you could imagine and it may or may not be easier than where you came from. Know that this is just the beginning of something more beautiful than you've ever known.

There are so many details that go into the process that I have chosen not to elaborate on for sake of a simplistic set of directives. Under each step a zillion little 'this and that's' will evolve; Don't be intimidated and don't give up under pressure. There are so many resources available for guidance and support and never forget that where you are is where you were called to be. The joy you feel in adoption is unlike anything I have personally ever experienced and I am so thankful to have been down this path and excited to walk it again.

Jamie

www.gfinkfamily.blogspot.com