An Open Letter To...
By MaryAnneTugglePayne on July 02, 2013
Lately, everybody and their underwear have been writing open letters to folks out there who are primarily a celebrity or in the public eye for some action or remark or whatever that we hear about on the interwebs.
It's a fairly easy way for bloggers to get numbers on their sites. Especially if it's done the same time as the purported event, or action that they did that pissed people off.
I wonder if they REALLY read them. Or even care about them. Or does their publicist read them then send the ones they like on, or make damn sure they DON'T read them.
So I decided I'll just write an open letter to lots of these characters in hopes of truly whoring out my blog for numbers. All or nothin, right? And this way I can get it all off my chest and move on with my life. Because I do lie awake at night and worry about these things...
First and foremost my butter bunny, bless her heart, Paula.
An Open Letter To Paula Deen:
Girl, you went and ugly cried on Matt Lauer. A true Southern Lady would have just said, "Ladies don't talk about their past, it was tacky, I'm sorry, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, and I've fired my PR people. Now, let's have some sweet tea, a cigarette and talk about Martha Stewart's sex life."
An Open Letter To Senator Wendy Davis:
You rock. May I suggest Manolo Blahnik's next time?
An Open Letter To Edward Snowden:
Equador. Really??? They eat Guinea Pigs down there. And Hipsters. Have fun.
An Open Letter to Kim Kardashian:
Just wait till she's a teenager. Payback is hell.
An Open Letter to Miley Cyrus:
You've gone from Disney cute to Snoop Dogg dope. From kiddie show to camel toe. Just don't toss a bong out your window.
An Open Letter To People Who Oppose Gay Marriage:
I'm fairly sure our declaration starts off with "We the People" not, "We, the Christians..."
Ok, got that off my chest. Who's your open letter to???
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