An Open Letter Regarding Abandonment
By DanielleBarnsley on September 03, 2011
Dear Person with No Filter,
We have nice conversations about politics, about our similar and devastating childhoods. We joke a lot. We get work done, and that generally makes our shifts at work pleasant. Yet, every so often, your lack of filter just gets me. Like the day you inexplicably told me I was "fatter then you" (I'm not). Most days, when you are ranting about some conspiracy theory, or some obscure situation, I ignore it. I smile, I nod, and I move on to our next task, if it’s particularly awkward. Tonight though, I couldn’t let it go. I had to make sure you knew that I was indeed angry at you.
Let me get a couple things straight:
- I am a birthmother. While you pretend to understand, or tell me what that means, you actually have no idea. No idea at all.
- Because your mother sucked and you hate her as result of childhood abuse, it does not mean that all mothers, including Birthmothers like me, are terrible.
- Your judgment about my life choices and my decisions in a situation that does not apply to you, has never applied to you, and will NEVER apply to you is completely unnecessary. Full stop.
So when we got into a debate about whether or not an adopted child notices that his biological mother is missing or not, I figured I would entertain you. Then you kept pushing your point. If the mother was callous enough to “give him away in the first place”, the child wouldn’t notice, nor would he care. In fact, you went on to say, that if she didn’t care then, she would never care, and the child should be grateful to be away from a sociopath like her....
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