Opening Up

I've never cheated on The Husband (nor do I intend to), but if today is any indication, I don't think I could handle the guilt.  I'm absolutely wracked with it.

I am in full procrastination mode.  Delaying the inevitable which has been scheduled, cancelled, rescheduled and nearly cancelled again. 

I don't want to do this, but I have little choice.  Circumstances and convenience have driven me to this. Love isn't entering into any of this at all. 

I've been cheating on my dentist, who I have had an exclusive relationship with for 13 years.  Just innocent little things, no big deal.  He has no idea because I haven't even been able to bring myself to request that my records be transferred.

This is simply - no more, no less - a matter of convenience. There was a time when the former dentist and I were very close, geographically.  Now, it's a 2 hour long distance relationship.  When I was working near him, it was very easy to see him before work, stop by on my lunch hour, even arrange for an overnight with my staying at my mother's.  But, work arrangements change and mine did, and now I can't easily justify the two hour trip one way.

Hence, the need to see someone new.  Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.  People have needs, y'know?

My new friend M. set us up, said that we would be a good match.  "I've had lots of issues too," she confided. This new guy and I had our first date - they call it a consultation these days - back in the heat of the summer. He said all the right things ("You've had some really good work done in the past.")  I guess that was supposed to make me feel better about all this since he's not looking to replace what is obviously a long history.  He just wants to finish what I've started.

I nearly burst into tears. Indeed, the former dentist (I can't even call him Dr. B., because they are both Dr. B.) was very good to me. Giving me reduced shots of Novacaine to hopefully prevent a dental-induced migraine. Allowing me to spread payments over several visits. Seeing me after hours.

The new guy promised that he could do all that too. He even laid out a three year plan for us to spend lots of time together. He can guarantee that we will be pretty much exclusive until 2014. He guaranteed his work, said that if anything happened in the next five years, he'll make everything right and fix it to be as good as new. 

So, I've given him a chance. We've advanced past the fluoride and flossing lectures, the "what happened with this one here?" Today, we take the next step in our relationship. Today we go for the bada-bing, the whole shootin' match.  The new guy is going where only the former guy has gone. 

He's promised me a new crown.

Somehow that's not making me feel any better. 

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