Oprah Disappoints When Celebrating Fat as a Beauty Standard
by Maria NilesReportedly Oprah is considering retiring from her daily talk show when her current contract ends in 2011. Maybe she worries that there is nothing new left to talk about or that she is on auto-pilot rehashing lessons already learned. If today's show is any indication, sadly I wonder if Oprah has already mentally checked out.
I have a great deal of respect for Oprah's success, intelligence, business savvy and her philanthropy. However she rubs me the wrong way when she idealizes skinny as the holy grail, on those days she offers ball gowns as the antidote to "shlumpadinka" jeans and t-shirts or when she follows up a show chastising foolish spenders with a show extolling the fabulousness of shoes that cost several hundred to thousands of dollars. Even those days when she uses her platform to launch the careers of her "friends" like Dr. Oz and now Peter Walsh, I can admire her mad brand and empire building skillz.
But on days like today, I fume.
The topic seemed benign enough: Beauty Secrets from Around the World. But my jaw dropped increasingly lower as certain practices went by unchallenged with no critical questioning or commentary applied and, even worse, giggled at and extolled.
Certainly there are cultural practices that are in some cases thousands of years old and have roots in beliefs that are very different than ours in the United States and the West. And there are deep, nuanced discussions to be had about those practices and how we consider and judge them. But, yes, bird poop facials are funny and I think it is OK to laugh at times.
However, it is stunning that when you are showing women of color around the globe seeming to fetishize some Nordic porn star ideal by straightening their hair, adding extensions, dying it blonde, whitening their skin, enlarging their breasts, skinny-ing their noses and valuing aging while sexy as long as you stay under a size 12, you don't even raise an eyebrow or acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, this might be the teensiest bit problematic.
But wait, it gets better. Oprah had a woman on from the African nation of Mauritania. The young woman talked about how Oprah might think her fat (Oprah protested "no!" as the woman was still smaller than Oprah) and how she wanted to lose weight but was discouraged to do so by the women in her family. Video was shown of how bigger women are considered more marriageable in Mauritania. In some rural parts of the country, much like geese for fois gras, girls are force fed to fatten them up. We watch as young girls are taken to "fat camp," fed starchy grains and fatty camel's milk until they can stand no more and vomit at which point the feeding resumes. To which Oprah responds with glee to the fact that big butts and stretch marks are valued and plans to move there.
Sigh. No mention of the fact that Mauritania currently lacks a functioning government because the democratically elected officials have been overthrown, slavery flourishes and terrorism is rampant.
Look, I know that the Oprah show is probably not the forum for a nuanced discussion of such global concerns. And a daytime television talk show, even Oprah's, would quickly lose most of its audience if the focus were such a downer. But, really, I am shocked that her producers did such a poor job of doing even a modicum of research before writing up Oprah's cue cards. However, I'm even more shocked that a smart, perceptive, talented woman such as Oprah would react so shallowly.
Oprah, if you're that jaded and married to an advertiser-driven world view, maybe it is indeed time to bow out gracefully and focus on building your brand through surrogates and network owner moguldom.
Related reading:
Sharon LaFraniere at the New York Times "In Mauritania, Seeking to End an Overfed Ideal"
Oprah's community discusses the show
Bloggers are blogging:
Some share my outrage:
Living Oprah writes Frowning causes wrinkles ... but I can't help myself today.
Be forewarned: I was incredibly upset by this morning's show. You may wonder how on earth I could let an episode all about beauty secrets from around the globe get under my skin. Well, I'll tell you...but first, I want to temper what I'm about to say by admitting that over the course of this project, I've developed a deeper respect for Oprah as an entertainer-interviewer. But today, boy oh boy, did I think she missed the target by a mile.
Kathy Khang at More Than Serving Tea says What in the World?!? - Oprah, Shame on You
The segment I’m referring to was on Japanese women and how they value smooth porcelain-like skin. Oprah held up a sample tube of a popular whitening cream, looked at the name and because Oprah doesn’t read kana or kanji she made up what she thought was an “Asian” sounding series of sounds. NOOOOO! Argh. The audience laughed. The Japanese woman who was on live feed through Skype giggled and corrected Oprah and correctly pronounced the name of the product. Oprah then went on to say, “That’s what I said.”
Wrong.
There were good lessons to be learned because even as the audience (and I include myself in that generic label) could laugh or look in horror at what other women will do to achieve their culture’s standard of beauty we all know our own dirty little secrets. The show was actually something I could see using as a springboard for cross-cultural conversations about beauty, race, ethnicity, gender and class. The reporter, Mara Schiavocampo, talks about how she was surprised to learn that Asian women straighten their hair (long, black, straight hair = Asian/Asian American woman stereotype). One segment touched on hair weaves - how much American women will pay to have real hair weaves, how some some of that hair comes from women who sacrifice their hair to temple gods, and how some of those women live in poverty.
D at Bella Inspiration asks what is the Standard of Beauty?
Why do women subject themselves to these kinds of torture? To attract a partner? Do some women see in themselves as being so unworthy that they resort to all kinds of things just to be notice and receive some attention? How many anti-aging products do we see when we walk down the beauty aisle in a drug store? Why is growing older such a bad thing?
Others enjoyed the show:
Dorsey at Searching For My Inner Skinny is ready to book a seat next to Oprah and says Mauritania here I come!!! (though I suspect she might just have her tongue planted firmly in her cheek):
Who would have thought a place this wonderful even existed in this day and age? Are they also as forgiving if you go more than 2 days without shaving your legs? hehe Oh, and the icing on the cake....(and you thought THAT was good enough) is that men who have a few extra pounds are NOT seen as desirable. That's right, men need to be thinner and women can have junk in the trunk. "There is no such thing as a butt too big" Oh these words sounded from the lips of the guest like a glorious symphony!!
So like I said, I think I need to go finish packing my bags and convince the hubby to transfer to Mauritania. Sounds like a wonderful place to me!! hehe
Tifani Vallejo at Captivating seems to have done a better job than I in putting the differences into perspective:
This is extremely fascinating to me how so many different countries view beauty differently. It's kind of funny how extremely opposite America is compared to some of the countries mentioned. For example, pale skin? I like tan skin. Fat? Definitely not...plus it's not healthy. Covering our bodies? No I'm not saying dress skanky but come on. Funny stuff.
And, Tinaya was at the taping of the show. Read her Oprah Show Deets and think about whether or not you want to try for tickets when you're at BlogHer in Chicago next year.
Did you see the show? Even if you didn't, I'd love to know what you think. Am I overreacting or properly aggrieved?
When BlogHer CE Maria Niles recovers from the realization that she now will never appear on the Oprah show and may have ruined her chances to work for Obama, she'll write up what it is like to go to a TV show taping (as she's been to dozens), Oprah's specifically (Lionel Richie is just a boring talking as he is singing, just saying) and why glamorous is rarely what it's cracked up to be on her personal blog Beyond Help.
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Comments
Oprah Doesn't Tape in July
Ok. We'll be in Chicago, yes, where Oprah tapes her show. I can people thinking "let's go to Oprah". But we're there in the summertime when her show goes on break. Her website says they begin taping in August for the fall shows, and stop taping in May for their spring shows.
So maybe we can put to rest the idea of catching a taping of her show. Unless she wanted to do an entire show of BlogHer Babes, and was willing to fly back from Santa Barbara to do the special show...
Somehow I doubt it.
Debra
A Stitch In Time
Weight for Deb
Yes, you are correct
Yes, in my ranting I completely forgot. They tape multiple shows in May to have some original content to intersperse with the repeats in the summer. The taping I went to was one of those. One group was taken to see a movie while we taped our show and then Oprah rushed over to do the show with the movie group afterwards. Our show was then shown later in the summer.
And Tinaya who blogged the experience of being in the audience indicates that this episode was taped about a month ago.
However, she should fly back and do a BlogHer babes show - that would rock!
Yep, she's got feet of clay, too
Doncha just hate it when an icon screws up? I love Oprah. I love her for how far she's come, and for how much she gives. I love her for taking the higher road in talk-shows, and for being inclusion-positive across the board. But when it comes to beauty standards, she has big limits. I think it is her unhealed wounds talking. I don't think it comes from the standard Hollywood beauty script. But it does some harm when she miss the mark, because she is so visible. It's hard to not hold her extra-responsible because I ant her soooooo badly to be perfect. But I'm going to go over to her site and send her an email comment on the show. Join me?
~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool
Wise words, Mata
Your empathy is wonderful and important. I had a strong negative reaction but you are right to remind that Oprah for all her wonderful qualities and our desire to see her as superhuman has wounds like all of us and of course they are going to influence her reactions. And, I agree, the positive, high-road approach she takes is very much appreciated.
I like your idea of response: lovingly let her know that this time she missed the mark.
Addicted to French Fries
My affinity to Oprah was crushed years ago. I was a young struggling single mother of 2 in a nearby Chicago suburb. This was a time in my life when I considered aluminum foil to be a luxury... my children are 25 & 21 now and I still feel the need to use aluminum foil and paper towels sparingly.
Another young mother that was my age was featured on Oprah's show about addiction. The woman traded her child for drugs !! I understood the struggles of a single young mother dealing with difficult family situations with respect to parents who did not understand addictions and an x-husband who suffered from all addictions. I have never had a drug or alcohol problem. I sympathized with this poor woman who had demons that I could not possibly understand. I just had to Thank God that day that I had a will to survive, work hard and attempt to find a better way for myself and my children. My heart went out to her and her child.
Oprah listened intently to her story, shaking her head as she does and in an attempt to identify with her guests and viewers said " I know, I know, I have an addiction too, I am addicted to french fries...."
I turned off the TV and I have not watched Oprah since.....
RG, Naperville, Illinois
Yikes!
That is a very frustrating demonstration of those wounds and limitations Mata wrote of. I can understand why you've not been interested in watching the show since. Part of her job is to be relatable to the audience but in the face of such a deep disconnect she lost your trust.
Good Points
Excellent article, Maria.
Oprah's been blatantly hypocritical for years, for the simple reason that her shows attempt to tell women that they're beautiful regardless of what they look like, and then Oprah turns around and diets every time her weight balloons.
You have to choose one or the other. Celebrate yourself at your current weight and live with it or admit that you think slimmer is better.
~ Bill
I blog at billcammack.com
I don't think it is hypocrisy
I think it is a blind spot. An unresolved issue. That is why it is so conflicted. Oprah's weight is her big unresolved life issue. It may well be that she can see someone else's beauty regardless of their weight, and be entirely unable to see her own. Weight is a complex issue. Especially in America that worships at a thin altar.
~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool
No longer celebrating
Thanks so much for your comments, Bill. I have to say, though, that I can't recall a recent episode in years where she's celebrated as beautiful plus size women regardless of size. She used to, I think to cope with those issues I believe she has, as Mata points out.
Ultimately, I think it messes with our minds to see someone so successful in so many ways struggle so openly just as much as all us mere mortals ;)
Hello All
I was a bit shocked at reading your reactions to that Oprah episode. I only watched about 2/3 of it, but I really didn't have the same visceral reaction (and this is coming from someone who ascribes to hardcore feminist ideology... so basically, I get upset at just about everything when it comes to how women are treated and perceived).
I have to acknowledge the fact that in the comments here, everyone is talking about Oprah's weight issue. Yes her weight goes up and down all the time, but maybe you're aware that she has a thyroid problem. She has hypothyroidism. I also have this illness. It is one of the most terrible things because it does cause you to gain weight without any fault of your own. So I can't imagine being a public figure like Oprah and have people judging her for something she cannot control. People indeed judged me for my 60 pound weight gain, but being in the spotlight during such a time must be completely awful. I mean, imagine not changing your diet and lifestyle and suddenly gaining a ton of weight. Can you imagine what that's like?
In terms of the show on beauty norms from around the world, I just was thinking Oprah got excited because after a lifetime of issues with her weight, there was finally a glimmer of hope in terms of what is considered beautiful. I mean, women who aren't a size 0-8 DO have a hard time in this culture (myself included) because we aren't considered "conventional beauties". I do love what you said about the Nordic porn star ideal -- that's so true and so great. But for "regular" or "typical" American women who refuse to conform to the blonde hair and big boobs and small waist, we often feel like we just don't fit in. So, if Mauritania could provide that sense of comfort for a few minutes, and even if Oprah could laugh it off.... I saw that as a positive. No, we can't overlook the negatives of that society -- the force feeding and slavery as you mentioned. I just think she felt good to know that there is a place where larger beauty is celebrated -- even if there are glaring negatives that must be addressed.
Thanks for your posting!
Oprah is human, just like us
Hi legeal, thanks so much for your comments. You make a good point about remembering that Oprah struggles with health and weight issues as do many of us in the audience. (CE Catherine Morgan covered the controversy around Oprah's thyroid episode here)
And I do get Oprah's excitement at that glimmer of hope. It was just hard for me to watch it as the only reaction after watching the force feeding and vomiting and then discussing how it was for the purposes of marriage (something Oprah doesn't even want for herself) and so that women can run the households and not be educated or have any role in government. Oprah even acknowledged that without education you cannot have any real power even if women run the households. But a big butt and a smile will get you hitched, yay! It was just sad to see because I know Oprah is not that superficial but as Mata put it so well, perhaps it was her wounds (which we all have and struggle with) talking. I can certainly forgive and recognize her humanity.
Courses could be taught on Oprah...
And they probably are, somewhere.
She has never been long on cultural sensitivity and she does have a strong tendency to make fun of people's voices - I remember when Sarah, Duchess of whatever was on and Oprah spent the whole episode speaking in a posh British accent. I think that the actress in her just loves to mess around with sound, so the fake Japanese doesn't surprise me a bit. I don't think it occurs to her that it is offensive.
I guess what I see with Oprah is that her show is not designed to be particularly smart or enlightening. It is meant to appeal to a low-average level of intellect so that she can attract the widest possible audience. To question cultural norms too much would alienate her viewers. Even though the average American woman is a size 14, the average woman doesn't want to admit that. We all want to think that, with just a little more work, we can be a size 6 and with a little more financial savvy, we can afford $400 shoes. Oprah speaks to our aspirational nature, which is American as apple pie.
Aspiration
That's a very good point, suebob. People generally don't want to see reflections of their everyday life - they want to escape that for an hour and dream of what might be, if only. And it's good to remember that while watching. I think some of the negative reaction might have been alleviated if they hadn't shown the force feeding. Though the accent thing is sadly rather common from talk show hosts - there needs to be some kind of host training 101 to maybe teach them to avoid that.
Thanks for sharing your comments!
Oprah swings between compassion and
commercialism
I remember when Oprah first came to Chicago. I thought she was exceptionally brave and compassionate. She gave us all hope that we could overcome just about anything.
But it seems that selling things has become more important. My heart hurts every time I see her selling a new great diet. Thousands of people will flock to buy it. And then Oprah fails again. But then next year, she's got a great new diet! The cycle continues year after year. Let's face it, Oprah has no business peddling diets. It infuriates me how many people she's hurting.
Oprah sells products, and gets presidents elected.
Her compassion, and love for helping people have gotten lost. I guess shiny money tarnishes a conscience. But I have to wonder if part of the reason for her change lately is because she isn't being true to who she really is. Is she too trapped by commercial expectations to fulfill what she really wanted to accomplish?
Though - I would like to have a pair of those pumps that you can run in all day and your feet won't hurt ;-)
Carole
You can find more from Carole at her blog - CommonSenseLiving
Those pumps!
Thanks so much for your comments, Carole. Good food for thought.
And as for those pumps, unlike Louboutin's those from Cole Haan are at least in the low hundreds. I've tried them but unfortunately they run a bit narrow so I can't run in them but they do seem great!
I didn't get that at all...
as a woman who struggles with weight and body image, I understood her reaction to Mauritania. I didn't feel that they "glossed over" the force feeding, but this show wasn't about indignation, it was about exploring the many, many different views on beauty around the world. I have to feel that we, also are guilty of the focus on weight even in these comments. It's interesting to me that not one commenter mentioned the scarring of the girls in Karo, Ethiopia or the neck elongation rings of the Kayan tribe. Oprah is a daytime show and commercially must appeal to a broad audience. I think she has done topics that question standard behavior and beliefs as well as lighter fare.
I did not see the french fry issue, spoken of above, and while I agree that was an unfortunate thing to say to a guest, I would have to imagine that she was referring to the deeper pain of binge eating and emotional eating - which is a very serious issue as well as a painful one.
We're all human and we all have occasion where our choice of words leaves a bit to be desired... I'm certainly glad that my words and actions aren't picked apart the way we pick apart celebrities.
Christine
It's My World. Welcome To It.
Blog: http://www.colormepink.com
Homeschool Blog: http://web.mac.com/colormepink/
Jewelry Blog: http://www.starbrightjewels.com/blog
Thank you, Christine
I appreciate very much you adding a different take on the show than mine and many of the commenters here. It is important. And that's one of the reasons why I wanted to blog about my reaction - to get some perspective on my reaction so your comment is valuable to me.
While it is good to remember that Oprah is human like the rest of us, by offering her words for public consumption to millions she has to expect some scrutiny (just as I would expect as a blogger). I think she can handle and even appreciate critical (as in examining but even as negative) feedback. For all of us it helps us grow and get better at what we do even if it stings.
Stop
I stopped watching Oprah three years ago. Her lack of humility was too much for me. I find her disappointing, not saying she has not done great things, that is a given but humility goes A LONG ways.
Abby and Mandy
Tough balancing act
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Abby and Mandy. I am sure you are not alone in your reaction and it totally makes sense. I wonder though if there is a point of perfect balance. I suspect that she would turn off some who want confidence (even arrogance) from aspirational celebrity (as others have noted above) if she sought to project more humility. I can't imagine how hard it must be to figure out how to craft your personality for a TV audience. Overall I think Oprah has struck a balance that works for her but certainly is not going to work for all viewers.
O is cool with me.
I don't look to O to tell me who I am. Her show is entertaining. ENTERTAINMENT. If you like her...you like her flaws.
We all got them. Do I wish her to be more of something? NO she isn't elected to office. I control when I watch her, not the other way around. I take whatever she says with a grain of salt as I do anybody and everybody.
She is powerful and has a captive audience. But at the end of the day you get to decide if you want to be influenced or not. She makes being rich seem do-able. I like that very much. She struggles with her weight. I struggle with my weight. Do I wish I would let go of that illusive skinnier size...some days.
If we could do as much good in our lives and in our circles as she does in hers, this would be a different conversation entirely. Then what annoys us about her, would be much smaller and put in it's place...back on us.
Be loving & Be in LOVE
Perspective
Thanks, as always, for your patented loving perspective, Babz.
And you make a very good point here:
Human After All
I'm thinking at least this sort of mistake shows her to be human after all and not some sort of unattainable uber woman!
With a dash of common sense you can tell that these things - unrealistic skin care, weight management etc - are simply silly and although cultural sensitivities are needed they don't need to mean we all follow other trends - we are, after all, capable of making our own minds up. :)
All the best,
Belinda
Great Earring Holders - great Christmas presents and no more messy jewelry tangles!
Making up our own minds
Excellent reminder, Belinda. All television should be watched with an eye towards viewing everything through the filter of our own values. Thanks!
wow
I haven’t watched the Oprah show in about ten years due to working a 9-5 (no daytime TV here!) almost consistently; and I can say that I am shocked and disappointed by what I’m reading – about some of the things she has said and done.
On the other hand, Oprah is probably one of the most public figures in our time, so everything she does, see, feel, eat is going to be known to those who follow her and to those of us who doesn’t.
I would think more of her if she were to apologize for some of the things she has said, but at the point in her career, I can see why she wouldn’t even feel the need.
Carla
www.greenandchic.com/blog
www.greenandchic.com
Get free shipping until December 3 by using the code FREESHIPPING at checkout.
Apologies not necessary
You're right - Oprah is everywhere and inescapable even if you don't watch her show :)
Somebody will always be put off no matter what she says or does so, as long as she does not see her remarks as conflicting with her values, any apology would be hollow. Personally I'm still watching apology or not, I wear a watch from a company I learned about on one of her shows and I continue to bug my hairdresser to give me her style (even though I realize the folly since I can't employ her to come set and curl my hair daily).
I guess I was just surprised because I think I know her values and her remarks didn't seem to square. But ultimately it is up to me to recognize and express mine and if my outrage were sufficient I could turn off my television.
Thanks for your comments, Carla!
vodkamom
I just can't watch Oprah. She cannot speak for the average every day woman. Not when she's worth a GAZILLION dollars. She does not know my pain. no way.
Very true
She definitely no longer knows many of the worries she once had and that anyone who is not a billionaire feels in the pocketbook. And it does seem sometimes that she no longer can relate. But I was impressed that this year instead of doing a show about her "favorite" material things because it would be so inappropriate given the state of the economy, she instead highlighted gifts people have given and received that cost virtually nothing yet are the wonderful presents people never forget receiving and cherish.
I'm glad she is rich
I am always glad when a generous person gets rich. Her world has changed, and she is out of the money-worry slipstream. How great is that? I wish every one who had such a generous heart was free of financial angst. If she was not such a philanthropist I would feel critical of her, but she pours money out.
Oprah only has to make one flub and she gets knocked loud and hard for it. Here we have a woman who had struggled and through hard work has made it to the top of her profession. Yes, she has ego issues and blind spots --- but we also get to see her face them. She is proud of herself. Why do we think that looks bad on her and not bad on Bill Gates? There is another generous rich person -- but we do not clamor to know and crow about his failings and flaws. But man, the moment Oprah screws up, in moments she is held uber-responsible.
I do think what she said on the show was way out of line, and have emailed her. I figure she'll get to take that seriously. But is seems to me that some people (not you, Maria -- I think you were on point) want a chance to dislike her.
~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool
Great insights
Your comments betray your generous heart, Mata.
I agree that her philanthropy is wonderful but what is even better is that she uses her platform to encourage us all to join in the joy such giving brings.
But you're right that she does get disproportionately criticized and some even delight in seeing anyone on such a high pedestal knocked down even a millimeter. The difference between Oprah and Bill Gates is that Gates sells us tools whereas Oprah sells us herself. We do and buy what she asks of us because she has opened herself up to her audience. If she didn't share her life, her difficulties and the ways in which she is human and like us I doubt she would have the loyal and devoted viewership that she does. It's a catch-22.
So Oprah's tiniest flaws get magnified while Bill's go mostly unnoticed. But I bet you if he screwed up in a big way, the tabloids would eat him alive and many would gladly join in the feasting.
My point of view is this
Excellent post by the way and I'm happy to add my tiny bit to the debate.
For my part I am in the media. I do plus-sized modeling and I also am an actress. It's what I do but it doesn't define who I am and that's the key which a lot of people don't understand about Oprah. As Mata so wonderfully stated - Oprah's weight is Oprah's unsolved life issue.
She constantly battles with telling people what they want to hear which ultimatley is to be comfortable in their own skin but she is the least comfortable in hers. I can tell you from personal experience it's not a great balancing act.
I recently let some admirers of my work know I'd lost weight - under doctors orders. I could almost feel the air thicken with distain. I felt they were thinking. Has Vanessa sold out now? Does she crave to be super skinny>
No but I want to live a healthier way and still be comfortable in my skin.
Oprah needs to go back to the good old days when she cried real tears and shared her own experiences step by step. That's what made her famous. No one wants to see the end result of her weight loss they want to see the journey so they can identify and understand they aren't the only ones who have these issues.
In regards to the episode I think someone mentioned how it opens up debate on beauty around the world and different perceptions of beauty around the world. I think judging by the comments the show could have been thought out much better. Some beauty logic from different parts of th world is almost draconian and barbaric but remember we aren't all born of western ideals. That said look at Micheal Jackson and what he's done to his body. Go figure.
Oprah really should now either go back to the drawing board or stop her show because she's losing respect from the very people who put her where she is today. I don't want to sound harsh because I know when you're surrounded by yes people it's very difficult to be objective about your goals and motives.
Empowering plus-sized people www.sexyhotfatties.com