The order in which our 20 hour van trip went awry, the short version.

thebwords.com

1. We backed out of the driveway. 

2. Contents of car:

Me, husband, 2 kids, 2 dogs, pile of xmas movies, 4 LL Bean bags of clothes, 127 hot wheel cars, 3 nerf guns, 2 chaise lounge patio cushions, 2 king blankets, 2 pillows, 76 i-everything chords, one dog kennel, one 20 lb, bag of dog food, 2 carseats. 

3. Ten mins down the road we turn around and go back. Forgot crap. 

4. We stop twice first hour and finally get going in hour three. 

5. Stop in Nashville. I insist on making it count and want authentic BBQ. It is 10 PM. Only place open has bars on windows and is hooked to a gas station. Sign says, "Please remove hoods before entering." Husband says we are going in. 

6. Placed closed at 9:30. We eat Sonic corn dogs. 

7. 14 hours later we decide to stay at a hotel. We have four hours before we need to start back up again.

8. Not paying over $100 for hotel. Let me just share the picture of the microwave, below. 

9. Start again. 6 hours to go-We are in the home stretch of this thing. 

10. Stop at gas station. 

11. Husband makes the catosprotpic decision to buy a fucking bag of Cheetos at the gas station. 

12. Everybody is crusted in electric orange faux cheese.

13. Can't find the wipes, so I instruct our kid to let the dogs lick his fingers. 

14. Youngest lost his pants. I don't know exactly where, but it was sometime around Kentucky. The cuffs got wet from the snow at a gas station stop and he refused to put them back on. Fine. I can't be the only parents whose kid arrives in subzero weather, pant-less. 

15.. Make pit-stop in St.Louis for winter clothes. Husband allows kids to pick out a toy. 

16. No shit, my kid picks out a blow-up punching bag. You know the type. 5' and a water filled bottom. 

17. It's blown up in our car. FML

18. Contents of our car: 

2 parents, 2 kids, 2 dogs, pile of xmas movies, 4 LL Bean bags of clothe, 127 hot wheel cars, 3 nerd guns, 2 chaise lounge patio cushions, 2 full blankets, 2 pillows, 76 i-everything chords, 1 dog kennel, 1 20 lb, bag of dog food, 2 carseats, blow-up thing, race-track, bag of Cheetos, two new dog collars, sonic wrappers, spilled milk cup, speeding ticket (he got it)...minus one pair of pants. 

 

ADD A COMMENT

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.

Recent Posts by thebworder

Menu