My mother didn't want me to cut my hair so she told me I wasn't allowed to cut it until I was 18. My first "real" haircut was when I was 4 or 5 and that was when I got bangs (which I would never have now...). I managed to get a few shoulder length cuts, but only mostly because the weight of my hair was giving me headaches. (I have a lot of hair.) I waited a few months after my 18th birthday and then went and got it all chopped off. As in less than an inch long.

I love it at first and then I discovered what no one ever told me about short hair - it's a lot of work. There's no throwing it up into a ponytail. There's no not getting your hair cut for 6 months and it still looking good. One of the reasons I keep my hair long is because I'm far too lazy to have to maintain short hair.

Sassymonkey and Sassymonkey Reads.

My mother used to cut our hair herself and we have so many photos of me and my sister with wonky fringe/bangs, it's awful. I have had short and long hair yet my teen is quite wedded to her long tresses. She has ventured out of late and has lots of layers, but I can't see her ever cutting it up to her shoulders. The good thing about little girls and bad hair cuts is that it growns back so quickly.

At the end of the day it's one of those things (ie. not really life or death) that I said I would never argue about. As long as it's clean.

Our daughter is 2, so we have a ways to go yet.  She is currently sporting the toddler mullet.  Her daycare teachers wrestle her into pig tails.  I prefer the one, off-center pony tail, which causes less pain.  The off-center pony tail is more about function than fashion.  It keeps her hair out of her food. :)

We're not ready to cut it yet, but when she gets older, as long as she suffers me brushing and combing ,and keeping it neat, or does so herself, she can have her hair however she wants...though I am going to steal your toilet seat test.  That is awesome!

Patience is a virtue that takes too long

My girls both have short hair---one was SUPER short (the same cut as her brother!) but that was b/c her hair had the weirdest texture and didn't look good more than a few inches long. Now, she's "growing it out" and it covers her ears.

There are two reasons I cut my kids' hair: 1) baby-fine hair sucks when it is tangled. I HATED when my mother brushed the knots out of my hair. Fine hair looks better short (IMHO) and doesn't hurt when it isn't long enough to knot up.  2) I am lazy and my oldest refused to brush her own hair. I have no desire to spend an hour (or, really, 15 minutes) brushing & styling hair while a kid whines. When my oldest refused to brush her hair, I told her she needed to either start brushing it, or we'd have to cut it shorter so it didn't look like a rat's nest. And they do their own hair. The only time I get involved in styling their hair is on Christmas and dance recitals.

Fairly Odd Mother

http://fairlyoddmother.blogspot.com

So we keep it short.  She's 8 now and she is totally ok with this.  We tried to let her grow it long.  But that meant she needed to brush it every single day, sometimes twice a day or it would develop the most heinous tangles that were painful to brush out.  When it became obviousl to both of us that this was a losing battle, she finally agreed to a shorter cut.  Even though she is finally willing to brush her hair daily, she loves the shorter hair.  When it starts getting tangles, we know it's time for a cut.  But I'm happy that this is a decision we came to together.

i remember when I was a kid, my mom really wants me to cut my hair short because I am to young to take care of my hair. but i don't want to, and my mom needs to talk to my teacher to tell me to cut my hair so taht I could have a haircut. LOLs. But during college, i realized that the shorter my hair the better.

ha ha - Yes, the toilet test is a good test for hair! Long hair is gorgeous, but only when not messy = short hair is cute too - but little girls all want to look like Disney Princesses!!

When my daughter was 4, my brother was getting married, so we took her in for her Matilda-cut (bob) that looked so precious with her dimples.

We went to buy my husband a suit and my daughter was twirling in one of those 3way mirrors...

She suddenly BURST out crying. She was weeping so hard that we could hardly understand her when she was blubbering "MY HAIR! My hair is all gone! Where did my hair go?!" She could finally see the back of her hair in those 3-way mirrors and totally melted down.

I couldn't believe the extent of her heartache! She had seen her hair since she got it cut, but suddenly it was REAL and she wanted her hair back. So much of a child's identity is tied up in their hair, more than I think we really realize.

You think long/short hair on a girl is cause for a lot of armchair psychoanalysis, let a toddler/school age boy grow his hair out. Yikes. Why do the gender roles have to start so early?

My daughter had long-ish hair. And I'll admit it, I sort of liked it. I thought it looked good.

But then, one day about 6 months ago, she gave herself a haircut. She was 4 years old. Needless to say it did not look good. I ended up having to cut it into a short bob to make it look OK. We both cried. And then I got over it.

I will admit, there is this weird relationship I have with my daughter's hair, and I feel a little bit uncomfortable about it - like I'm gender stereotyping her. I certainly don't worry about her brother's hair this way. All the same, I can't completely get over it. Or, at least, I haven't yet.

~ Amber

www.strocel.com

I don't know where I get it. I love her long hair, too, which is why until she asks for a bob, I won't ask her to get one. There's something about watching her bounce off the school bus, hair flying everywhere, that just seems to scream childhood to me. I kind of feel that way about little boys, too -- give them a really short buzz cut and they seem older.

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak.

Like Expat Mum I too suffered the bowl.  I cannot think of anything as unbecoming as that cut.  I was upset that my mother didn't seem to think that my looks mattered enough to get a professional haircut.  In a way, it symbolized a form of neglect (though, she was not trying to convey that).  

Hair as Biblical connotations.  Think Samson and Delilah.  It can symbolize the powerful and the powerless.  

I don't think this is a frivilous topic, especially for women who have been defined by their hair for centuries.  Hair is sexy, a symbol of puberty, and yet a free flowing sign of innocence.  How and when do we help our daughters take this expression and make it into their individual assertion of identity?

http://www.thecluelesscrafter.com/

This is a great topic!

The one thing about hair is it's temporary.  I've let my children do whatever they wanted to with it and as young adults/teens they sport conservative styles per their own choice.  This is after going through all sorts of various colors and mohawks, but only in the summer as they attended a private school with strict dress code standards.  I figured if they made it through the school year just fine, they deserved summer to be a little crazy.

My daughter did keep long hair and it's grown back out after donating to Locks of Love a few years back.  She intends to grow it out and do it again.  If you have a daughter with long hair and she does want to get it cut, this is a rewarding experience and really helps teach your child about caring for others.

Tracy Morrow Intimacy Specialist http://www.HappyHer.com/Blog

My mom was a self-professed tomboy. She had long hair for a few years when that was the thing in the late '60s-early '70s but cut it off as soon as my older brother was old enough to pull on it. So I've only ever known her with short hair.

When I was 4, she asked if I wanted my hair cut. Of course! I sat down, she snipped away, I ran to the mirror...and burst into tears. And then I began to grow it back out, and the next time I got my hair cut was when I was 12 or so, again at my mom's urging but with fewer tears this time.

I agree with all the comments that long hair is just easier. I've had my hair long ever since my baby was born, and my mom's always on me to cut it. ("You look so nice in a bob!") I really do like my hair short as well (but not in a bob, fyi), but you know what, it's my hair.

www.HoboMama.com | A baby instead of a bindle

I've become attached to it, because of what it represents.

http://www.joyunexpected.com/archives/2009/10/hair_a_love_sto.php

Don't know how I'll be able to cut it off if she ever asks me to.

Great Topic! I have 3.5 year old quadruplets (one boy and three girls). I love my girls long hair and so do they! One of my girls has very fine sllloooowww growing hair and she is DYING for it to grow out too. The only thing I can't stand is when it's in their faces.. I LOVE to see their sweet little eyes and smiles. SO, when we are home, they can wear it however they want. BUT, when we go out to play, it's a different story. If they don't let me fix it... they don't get to go. Period. It works for us. They have freedom at home but know that "on the go" it has to be out of their faces. As for me, well.. my mom was very much the same way with us growing up. So I guess I know where I get my feelings on hair from. As an adult (and an athlete) I can't stand to have it in my face. So, long hair works better for me. However, I love to change it up and will chop it off once a year. It makes me feel like a new person. ANYWAY! What I guess I'm saying is... I love my little girls hair long as LONG AS it looks clean. When they get older they can decide for themselves. Loved the topic so I thought I'd share my 2cents!

Gen McNulty www.mcnultyquads.com

My oldest daughter (age 7) has exactly the kind of hair I always wanted as a child: long and straight but also voluminous and not too curly. Not super mousy straight either. I always tried to grow my hair long, but since it's too curly, it would just puff itself out and make my head look like a pyramid. So I'm more than happy to let her keep it long. HOWEVER, she doesn't do a good job brushing it, so we have a daily morning battle in which she wants to do her own ponytails (one on each side) and I always re-do it because I can't stand to see it done shabbily, messily. She hates it, but I can't bear to let her go to school that way, I'm sorry. It seems like all the other little girls have decently brushed hair.... How do those other moms manage to get THEIR ponytails done decently?!!??! sorry to sound bitchy!

I discovered the toilet test when potty training my third child, only I discovered it for myself!  When potty training my son, I discovered my long hair would fall into the toilet (gross huh!) and told my stylist that I had to cut it short enough to pass the potty training test.  I have recently finished potty training #5.  Perhaps I can let it grow longer now! 

As for my daughters, it did break my heart when my oldest daughter wanted short hair at around age 4.  My current 3 year old has very long and beautiful curly hair.  I keep telling her that it is so beautiful as to encourage her to let it grow.  It hasn't failed the toilet test yet.  When the time comes that she truly begins to assert her own opinion, I will allow her to do as she wishes.  But as long as her decision is being influenced by others, it might as well be influenced by me. I don't have opinions that women have to have long hair, etc.  but let's face it, it is way easier to cut your daughters hair when she is ready than to give her long hair when she decides she wants it. 

Side note, daughter number 3 (age 2 1/2) is also sporting the toddler mullet.  It is amazing how different each girl's hair can be as it grows in when determining the age old question "to cut bangs or not to cut bangs".

I'm with you...if she likes it that way, and she helps to keep it up, why not let her control it herself!  My daughter is 2 1/2 and has her hair almost to her waist with bangs (we had to cut the bangs, her hair was ALWAYS in her face.)  We trim it, we cut it to her shoulders last winter, but she likes having her long hair and having it braided and pigtailed.  Her daddy LOVES her hair and really so do I...but if she wants to cut it, I'll do that too.  She is adorable anyway her hair is.

On the flip side, my dad controlled my hair length...going as far as to measure it before I went for a trim to make sure I didn't cut off more than 2 inches.  As soon as I turned 18, I cut my hair to my chin.  Now, I cut it short and grow it out often through the year.  Personally I find my shorter hair easier to do and more stylish than simply having it in a ponytail day after day. 

PR by Lisa

www.insidelisa.blogspot.com

Hair just isn't worth the battle.  If a kid wants to rebel, let them do it with their hair.  It is for the most part, harmless.

I had a mohawk when I was 12, I cut it myself, crooked.  After my mom got annoyed with it being off kilter, she started doing it for me.  Sort of took the fun out of doing it, but it looked better.  Within reason, and age appropriate, M can do anything she wants with her hair.  I can't wait to see what she comes up with.

As my family and daycare workers will attest, I have WICKED bedhead in the morning. My very short hair sticks straight up and even though it's fine, it won't behave until it's washed. I used to worry what the daycare teachers would think on the days I work from home, but I finally decided screw it. A headband and spiky bedhead is what they see every Friday.

I hadn't thought about dealing with bedhead on a little kid. That alone makes me glad my daughter's hair is still long. We wash it at night, she sleeps with it wet, and she wakes up looking totally normal. So jealous.

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak.

all of my daughters are blessed with beautiful hair, when they were born there was a concern as to what kind of hair they would have since their father is half african american and half native american. would they be born with the "good" hair or would they have these tight little curls or a wooly mass that i would braid into distinct little hairstyles know in the black culture. well they have "good" hair and my oldest has my curly do, my middle straight, and my youngest has the thickest hair ever that we cut after her championship football game. i did not want to cut it until after that game and i was adamant about that because i wanted everyone to know she was the only girl on the team by her thick long braid peeking outta her helmet. after the game the first thing she asked was "are we cutting my hair?" and i did and it is sitting on my friends armoire ready to be sealed in an envelope to donate to locks of love. so now the cycle will begin again and i will have her grow her hair out again so that she can donate it next year at this time. i think this is a special thing for kids to do.

aside from that my kids have had long hair, short hair everything in between. and so have i sporting a pixie at 2,  a wedge at 8 and again at 21, and a bob, and a boycut that i teased high, and all those locks in between, i wear my hair long now and i color it every two weeks because of the grey. my hair is my best feature, and right now i like it long who knows in a year or two i might want it short. and my girls? whatever makes them feel confident and beautiful if its a mohawk or rapunzel locks so be it, because  they can.