I'm trying to reach that "balance" that seems to unattainable, that you speak of.  Thanks for articulating that not only you, but your husband seems to understand the ever-present battle for this balance that so many of us struggle for, every single day.

Still though, if I'm being totally honest, I'm still torn and unsure who I should be voting for.  Every day some new emergency comes up and whilst I want to believe the passionate words of your husband, I just don't know...

This is a horrible place to be in...almost as hard as the frustration I face, trying to attain that "balance" in my life.   

Thanks for this amazing post. Thank you.

"I know that every other mommyblogger out there knows exactly what I’m talking about."

Michelle, you got it right there!

I'm currently in DC for the BlogHer DC conference, and it took me a girlfriend, my husband, and nothing short of school paperwork and pre-planning miracles to get here.

It shouldn't be this hard.

It's comforting to me to know you and your husband understand these issues and deal with them yourselves. I've heard your brother speak of how you manage the girls and work...the struggles we all face too. It lets me know you are real and that you truly do get it. Not to mention that you live the same way (for the most part) as many Americans.

Yet one more reason to be voting Obama in November.

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain

Thanks so much for this post Michelle. I have been following the US election with interest, but looking closely at our Canadian race too, which ends today. I've posted a few related posts:

 A working mom seeks balance, where I talk about some of the things I do to try to bring balance into my life and give my family what they need and deserve. 

SAH or WOH? How can we stop restricting mother's choices? Here I wrote about some of the missing policies and programs that essentially limit mothers choices and end up forcing them to either stay home or go back to work. This isn't a free choice for many people. Not in Canada. Not in the US. Not in many other countries. I also outlined what some of the Canadian parties are proposing to help make this choice freer. 

 PhD in Parenting - http://phdinparenting.wordpress.com

Thank you for this post.  I too feel like just trying to live should not be this hard.  I see soo many women who do nothing but the right thing and come up short time and again.  THis has got to stop and I am glad to know that your husband takes this issue seriously.   

Michelle

I blog at http://www.mommycan.blogspot.com/

It's so important that we know that juggling life, work and family is hard for everyone, and harder still for others. We can not in fact "do it all" and the programs and support that an Obama presidency will provide is going to go a long way towards helping America's families. 

Thank you so much for this post Michelle. 

And wait..did you just refer to yourself as a mommyblogger? Kinda cool.

Mom-101

Cool Mom Picks.com

I have heard Sen. Obama speak of his support for family/carework policy in our country. This is one of the main reasons I will be casting my vote for the Obama/Biden ticket. I am a Dodd Democrat, have been registered in Connecticut since age 18. I recently changed my voter registration to Virginia because Dodd isn't up for re-election and I know Virginia needs my vote. 

While Aviva and I work hard to absolve parental angst wherever we find it we hear from parents they want, and need, paid family leave and sick days.  We want, and need, an administration that supports those kind of policies. We believe Obama/Biden will help to facilitate an environment in our government where those policies are put on the fast track. Our country is cranky, we need a nap!

Parentopia.net/blog

I was there in Chicago with you, Michelle, so I know what you are talking about.  I had to take time off from work, miss my son's soccer game, and suspend activities on the blogs I write for and manage to do it.  It was worthwhile to me, because the women in that room--yourself included--inspired me to believe that women have the power to change the world.

One of the things I try to remember when it all seems so overwhelming to me is that it's not a matter of time, but a matter of priorities.  Right now and through Nov. 4, my priority is to see Barack Obama and Joe Biden get elected.  My family is pitching in, too, whether that means helping out, donating money, or just forgiving my absence.  Other days, it's the soccer game or the spelling test or supporting my husband that takes precedence over everything.  I don't think "balance" necessarily means having it all at the same time, but knowing that your priorities will change and having the flexibility to manage it.

Glennia

MOMocrats

The Silent I 

Kimchi Mamas

In addition to FMLA, early childhood programs are critical to helping parents juggle family and work. I shouted with excitement when Barack Obama mentioned early childhood education in the first debate because it was maybe the first time I've ever heard the need for it acknowledged in a presidential campaign, especially when millions of people were watching. I don't have kids myself, but that doesn't mean that healthy families aren't important to me. And I'm extra glad that a candidate whose family has a strong support network is out there acknowledging that a lot of families rely on complicated and extensive networks that go beyond the immediate family. It is exciting.

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

This is a great example of just how well you have juggled your many roles and will continue to juggle the roles of parent, wife, and of course, First Lady, when the votes have been counted.

Sondra Santos LaBrie

Certified Parent Educator

Happy Healthy Hip Parenting

San Diego Parenting Examiner

The more we hear from Mrs. Obama the more you like her.  She is so real and down to earth, while still being professional.  President Barack Obama has a very nice ring to it.   The status quo is not okay.  People that are on the fence need to get the stick out of their a#** and support the right man for the job.

www.ardysslife.blogspot.com

www.drop3sizes.com

www.ardylisslife.com/ultimateskin 

Thanks for your post.  It's obvious that you and your husband are thinking about the needs of ALL of us as Americans.  You make me proud.

I was watching you on Larry King Live and I was so impressed regarding how you stuck to these issues that we really care about.  Once again, your refusal to get angry/say negative things against others/etc. made me proud - as a Black person, as a woman, as an American.

(By the way, I wasn't especially excited about your husband's run initially, but hearing how much you were for him encouraged me to take a second look -you can learn a lot about a person by their mate!  I'm glad that I did...he has grown in so many ways over the last several months that I'm wholeheartedly voting for his ticket.)

Take care,

Kimberly/Mom in the City 

Michelle, I so appreciate the honesty of your family. That is truly one of the things that I admire most about yourself, your husband and Joe Biden.

While I have not had to juggle jobs and taking off work to get kids to school and doctors and activities I have had to juggle life for other reasons. While many Moms choose to homeschool for religious reasons this juggling act was one of the reasons that we chose to homeschool.

Of course, with everything in life, there is no perfect solution. As a homeschool family we have had a whole different set of juggling acts to perform trying to live off of one income and paying for health insurance out of our pockets because both my husband and I are self employed.

Thank you for your post and thank you for really seeing what average people try to deal with every day!

Rose

http://thefuninlearning.com

as I am sure in this economic climate there's just so much squeeze any small business can take. Thirty five years ago I was shamed and abused for my kid's needs. I was worked 100 hour weeks for a fixed salary and warned a male designer could take my place without the child/baggage.

At least I think we will have someone at the top who thinks of these issues at least as much as he thinks of dividends and drilling rights.

This is an exciting year for me, when two things I thought I would never see have become possible.

http://www.judithgreenwood.com/thinkonit/

Wouldn't it be great if we all could be super women and do it all.
Be a mum, good partner, have a career, friends and time for ourselves.

I am afraid in this current way of life, having balance and fullfilling on all the expectations is impossible and even to begin to think we have a chance is an act of denial.

Somehow we have been sucked in to playing this game and be this super human, thus we are on an endless treadmill where nothing will change no matter how hard we try.  

In my case something significant within myself has changed and given me my life back.

I am no longer driven by guilt, don't have to fulfill crippling expectations and fear has lost its grip on me. 

This didn't happen overnight, but has been a consequence of several years of retraining my thoughts and habits.

Work, life balance has collapsed as an issue for me and I now live a congruent life.  

Wilma Ham

www.wilmasblog.com

Michelle,

Firstly, thank you for an excellent posting.

The real disgrace is that the US makes it almost impossible for women to achieve any sort of work life balance. Unlike many European countries, there are almost no companies that have on site creches for children, the amount of maternity leave we get over here is pitiful and maintaining any sort of serious career and working flexible hours is impossible.

Many of the other senior executive women I know who work in my field (marketing to women) have stay at home Dads, but for many other women this just isn't possible.

Making women bear nearly all the burden of juggling jobs and homelife has made it much harder for women to get ahead and stay sane in this country.

It is time for real change in this area.

BTW - I am doubling incensed by the fact that John McCain doesn't support equal pay for women. That's a good step backwards.

Janie

Hi Michelle and other Mommy Bloggers. I have to wonder, as I'm sure you all do..Who makes these rules in general for employees? Were they not children themselves? Who raised them? Do they never have a sick child or parent that needs to go to the doctor? Do they enjoy perfect health and never yearn for a day off or to participate in their children's life? 

Because to me, it sounds like they were raised by wolves.   

Michelle, if you could use your current political power and publicity (whether or not your husband is elected) to start off at the top and set (or reset) the values, it just might trickle down into everyday workplaces.  I believe if you stand there and say what you believe in and what you are willing to do with the God-given role you have, you are already blessed.  

Just a meager 7 days a year for sick pay doesn't cut it.  Try to live that way and raise a healthy family.  I think the change needs to be a larger one - a change in the fundamental philosophy - respect and treatment of people, of mothers who raise these men and women. A documentary recently covered flexibility in the workplace.  Many large companies are adopting this philosophy to keep employees happy (less turnover) and to have family time themselves.   It was a start, but they still did not 'get it.'  The men were talking about how they were able to have breakfast with their children and take them to school but the payback was missing dinner time. I did not see the value.  

Working women (and men) will not get this precious time back with family and children.  I am willing to work for less pay to get this precious flexibility and time. I also work very hard and have learned to prioritize my life to ensure that work accomplishments happen but not on the minute watch of a control freak.

Other women's blogs that I read discuss co-worker and manager lack of respect for this type of change. I believe that this comes from jealousy, fear, and buying into the fact that your life belongs to the employer who can dump you in a heartbeat. You should not have to beg to go to the doctor yet you should also be able to balance responsibility.  Perhaps that is the angle to approach this from and really be an instrument and spirit of change in this Nation.

Blessing to you and your family,

D. Sanchez 

Change starts with the small things and hopefully grows to be more powerful, more effective with very passing moment.  I know that change takes time and baby steps...we all do when we raise our children (as the easiest of examples).

I appreciate this post.  I also appreciate that persons in the Obama's positions get how hard it is for all of us.

Thank you.

~Mia.

My blog is General Hysteria~

I could not agree with you more and my heart goes out to the many parents out there struggling to raise a family in these uncertain times. I was a single mother, my children are grown now, but I was unable to collect child support because of the indifference of the courts at that time (I wasn't on welfare so there was no priority in my case).  In this and other ways I have felt this same indifference from those placed in positions of power to govern and serve.

This is one of the reasons why I appreciate your husband so much. I like what he has to say about accountability. It's hopeless if we keep bringing in more people who don't feel that they should have to answer to anyone.  I like Obama's honesty, and that he's not just saying what everyone wants to hear. Is it really possible that Americans can't see the clear difference?  Do they really believe one candidate could single handedly fix all of this?  One of the best things Obama has said, in my opinion (and the thing that made me decide to go out and vote for him in November) is that Americans are going to have to make some changes. I believe he is absolutely right about this.  It is going to take a group effort and we need a leader who can make it happen.

www.nmadore.com

Those of us holding it down at home, on the JOB and in the community know what the deal is.  We know  what we do on behalf of children, communities, churches, careers and loveships has value and meaning. Even when the world doesn't support us, when our own Gov't doesn't revere our tenancity we keep it moving. Believing better days are ahead.

Women hold up the world...I ain't bragging.  We get shit done against great odds in the face of great hardships.   We go about the day thinking how we can make things better, how we can make a way.  Our lives are the reality. 

Maybe we can't get to the rallies or watch the debates because we got to get the laundry done, or a child needs to study. Maybe we can't contribute to the campaign with money, But I tell you this, we will make a way come November 4th. Women of conscience, women raising daughters, women raising sons, women caring for parents have already made arrangements to have things handled for the time it takes to get to the polls and vote for their lives.

Sister Michelle, continue to speak truth to power!

Love,

Babz

I did just want to confirm to that my comment that John McCain does not support equal pay for women was not fabricated and something that I read in the Economist. Of course, they could have been making it up as well, but I do trust the integrity of the publication.

I personally hate the fact that so much of the tone and content of our politics has been reduced to diminishing the other candidate rather than really focusing on the issues at hand. I think that everyone is looking for an inspirational and dedicated leader at this point and are not interesting in mud slinging. 

Although Barack Obama has done some mud slinging, on the whole I feel that he has risen above a lot of the insults that have been thrown his way and for this I greatly admire him.

BTW - I would also like to see a female president one day because the US is 13th in the world in terms of female leadership and I think we should be able to do better.

Cheers,

Janie

Is it okay to admit that I cried reading this?  Because, for me, this campaign is not about number crunching and charts and predictions and promises.  It is about seeing my leaders as human beings who can connect with me emotionally--because I know if they can do that, they can make sound decisions for me and the people around me.  And as a mother of twins, this post resonnated with me tremendously--the lengths we go to participate in so many worlds either out of need or want.  And even though I know I am electing your husband, as a woman, it makes me feel good to know that you're beside him, explaining what women go through when we wear so many hats.  It has been a long time since I've felt a candidate considered me as an emotional human being rather than simply a number in a statistic.

Thank you for writing this.

Venting about infertility since 2006
www.stirrup-queens.blogspot.com
and we're not talkin' cowgirls...

Hello again, I've just read both the Obama and McCain websites - the Issues section. If you ask "what is the plan?" the plans are there.  After reading the Obama site, I felt warm and happy about his plan for families but I noticed that some details were missing and that the language on the border control was wishy-washy designed to get certain votes.  When I read McClains plan, it had bullet points, was lengthy, and pointed to his current legislative proven actions.  Wow, I was duly impressed.  

I would like to see more specific and detailed plans from the Obama campaign.  I also noted the extensive plans for Families, Taxes, Women, etc. on the McCain.  It also looks like..both candidates want to do similar things with some providing more detail than the other.  For example, both want to support women entrepreneurs and lending to women.  Great! Who is paying for it?

Another example, Obama's site says that he will protect the borders...well...except when you need to use the workers and reunite families.  And then it stops. So what it's really saying is.. We'll nod to it but not work on it.  McCain's plan (check it out) is super clear with specific rules and actions (bullet points spell out the lengthy plan). That, I believe is because he has the experience.  I'm sorry but if you want to win my vote (and you could!), spell out your plans please.  As well, if you could tell us where all of the money is going to come from for your incredible plans, that would be great.  The taxes I pay are already a burden and prevent me from saving, purchasing, better childcare, etc. etc. Are you going to re-allocate the taxes?  I admire the list of potential accomplishments you have made.  It is quite strong for someone with limited experience in such matters. 

Something you 'read in the news' is an opinion meant to sway your opinion - if it's not a fact that is proven, I'm not listening.  We women need to take these issues seriously by reading the facts and demanding answers.  We are capable of making this important decision - let's ask the questions and make the best decision!

 -dms 

Thank you for your honest post. You speak out what millions of moms and mom-wanna-be (me included) are thinking and struggling with everyday: can we do-it-all? How can i not feel guilty? And where can i find the child-care support?

I was born and raised in a foreign country. when I frist came here, I was shocked to know the struggles American women have with the balance of life. It was the first time that i knew you can feel guity to work a full-time job and you can get depression from balancing work and life. I was even more surprised about the scarity of child-care support and the cost of that in this wealthy country. I can't believe that a friend has to pay $1800 to send her daughter to daycare, which doesn't even include lunch!! I admit that i'm from a complete different world, but i know there are parts of the world where you can drop off the kids at the daycare in the morning and they'll feed them, take care of them and teach them english when they're 3 years old. 

I hope your husband's presidency will bring change to the life of millions of aspiring women. don't let their dreams dried up in the struggling of work and life. 

Loved your post.  It is so good to know that you are aware of what all moms go through each day to get things right for their families, their jobs and their communities. 

I appreciate your posting here and emphasizing issues that American families face. I missed your appearance on Paula's Party, which showed that you know your way around a kitchen too, but I enjoyed the clips.

Guess I've been doing juggling in my own life like so many other mothers. After this campaign we should give you master juggler certification. :-)

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

The floodgates of dialogue are open, and the more we have women like Michelle Obama adding their voices to the dialogue, and the more pressure we continue to exert to get some pretty basic, sensible things (for goodness sakes, I can't believe we still don't have equal pay and paid sick days), the better it will be (hopefully) for us hat-wearers. I love my hats, but sometimes I want to hang them all on a hook and relax--and not be penalized for that.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

While I think it is important that people (men and woman) can take their child to a doctor and that we do have equal pay and get sick time.  I think that it is important that we don't bury small businesses with a lot of regulations that will put them out of business.  I also think that maybe the Sick time being purposed should be termed Personal Leave.  When it is called sick time some employers require 'proof' it it is an extended period.  If you just need to stay home with your child a few days after a surgery Personal Leave time is what you want to have.  

It is a shame that it is the 21st century and we still don't have equal pay!

Thanks for the post.

On Da Road  http://www.midlifeonwheelsblog.com 

Thank you for weighing in on this, like many have already said, you really do seem to understand the daily struggles mothers (and fathers) go through trying to balance all the hats they wear in a single day.

You bring me hope that things will get better.  Thank you for that.

Carrie at Stop Screaming I'm Driving!