Our Ultrasound Dilemma

I think it's a really valid question! And if it's important to YOU then you need to be comfortable with your choice.

As a second child myself, I have the same lack of virtually everything that my elder sibling had: far less pictures, no saved little booties, etc. As a kid, I felt kind of slighted. In the mind of a child, "Why wasn't I important enough?" But as I grew up, I cared less and less and now it doesn't bother me at all. But I think it's hard on a little kid.

I have two kids. And I'm trying really hard to make sure I do the same for both. That said, I didn't have fancy ultrasounds for #1, or bronze her first shoes, etc.

What's most important to me as a mom of more than one child is to spend quality time with both, in the way that they like so that they grow up knowing they are well loved.

Jennifer (@verifiedJenn ( http://twitter.com/%21#/verifiedJenn/ )) is a frantic stay-at-home mom ( http://maviefaitealamain.blogspot.com ) moonlighting as the eco-artisan matersum ( http://matersum.blogspot.com )

Guess what - by the 4th pregnancy, you ALMOST forget you were pregnant ;)

I honestly think it depends on if you have a boy or a girl. I would love to see a 4D ultrasound of myself. I think it would be so neat, especially when I was pregnant myself. My brother? Or my husband? They'd watch it once, pronounce it cool, then never watch it again.

So my vote is: if it's a girl, do it. If it's a boy, blow it off, and if he ever makes a comment about it, hand him $200 and I'm sure he'll get over it pretty quick :)

Missy

If you expect your kid to get all bent out of shape about something - they likely will be.
While it is possible (I know, because I did it) to live your life to make one kid happy, doing it for two is darn near impossible.
I want to question this whole idea that we should be so concerned with what a child might feel in the future. Do you have the endless resources required to buy your children everything they might possibly want so that they never get upset? Are your prepared to spend your days answering their whines and groans?
I started off trying to produce "happy" children. In doing that, I managed to train my oldest to be unhappy anytime he wanted something.
If you want your kids to learn to be happy people, don't worry about whether they will be or not. Happy people are the people that don't let little things like "he got more than I did" ruin their day.
Kids get to choose, just like we do, what to be happy about and what to be unhappy about. I no longer worry about it. I just focus on being upbeat and happy myself,and loving them in the moment.
Relax, and enjoy being a mommy.

I was the youngest of 5 and the other 4 were 2 sets of twins! I grew up being introduced as "the spare".

My idea is that you did something neat for the birth of your first child. Now, for the second child, do something else neat, but different.

You could even get Grace to help you -

http://teachingsundayschool.blogspot.com
http://www.abridescookbook.com/blog
http://www.givitup.com
http://onlinestoregivitup.blogspot.com
http://thenestempties.blogspot.com

Dancing On The Journey

I say: Go for it!

Skip a few meals out, or buy store brands in the grocery store, and combine errands to save gas, to make up the $200.00. Down the road, when your family is sitting together watching your first child's ultrasound, your second child will want to see theirs, too.

We watch family videos fairly often, especially during holidays, and my two kids (20 & 22) always want "equal time" as "tv stars" during the viewings.

$200.00 is a lot of money, yet a small price to pay for something priceless! How AWESOME that we can see the miracle of life in utero! I would have loved that technology when I was pregnant! We were excited about a small black and white photo with very little detail!

Blessings on you and your family, and prayers for a healthy baby and easy birth!

I see where you're coming from and have two perspectives....

I'm a second child and sadly I don't have a baby book. All my pictures are in a brown cardboard box that are tucked away SOMEWHERE at my parents house. I was upset when I was younger and made this discovery, but as I got older I realized it was because my parents wanted to spend more time with my sister and I than documenting all the moments.

As an expectant mom (19 weeks today) who survived a loss earlier this year at 27 weeks, I can see how the novelty can fade. I admit that there were things I did with my first pregnancy that I haven't done with my second. In my case I think it's because I've been more cautious this time around...but I also wanted to do things that were unique to this baby.

Ultrasound or no ultrasound, I'm sure you can find a special way to capture the memories of this pregnancy and your baby in a way that will be meaningful to you AND them in the years to come.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself! :)

www.desperatelyseekingsolidground@blogspot.com ( http://www.desperatelyseekingsolidground@blogspot.... )

I am #3 of 4. My parents have done many special things with me, but I often feel left out. My parents have baby books for all of my sisters, except for me. All of my sisters have been given special wooden carvings that represent them by my parents, except for me. I could go on and on. I am the only one of my sisters lucky enough to travel with my parents. I'm in my 30's and it still rubs me the wrong way that I'm treated differently (not worse, not better). If you are thinking about it this much, just think about how much your kid will think about it...

I think you should seriously think about getting it or something equally special. $200 is little to pay for avoiding potential hurt feelings in your child later in life. Here's the thing. Some of how your child reacts is going to be up to her--it's not something you will necessarily be able to influence. You may be the most doting, loving mother, and he or she still may feel hurt, for a variety of physiological, genetic, or circumstantial reasons. You can't predict them all.

I'm the second of two daughters. There are a ton of pictures of my older sister; there are maybe a handful of me. It didn't help that I constantly felt I was in my sister's shadow. We went to the same school k-12. Both of our professors remembered her, they seldom remembered me. My parents both died prematurely--my dad when I was 13 and my mom when I was in my late 20's. I know my parents love me. I even know I was probably closer to my mom than my sister was. Nevertheless, it still hurts. And when the photos and memories are all you have left, it kinda hurts even more.

Bottom line: You can't predict what's going to happen to you or your daughter. Maybe you don't need to do the ultra sound, but maybe it's worth stopping in your busy schedule and taking a moment to think about what you can do for this new life that will make his or her life special, and help him or her establish a strong, distinct identity.

But I think I stumbled upon the baby book at the wrong point in my life (junior high age). I was pretty upset about it. Older sis' book was all nice and filled out. Mine only had my name and birthdate. I forgive them for it now (I don't have kids yet, but I can imagine), but I was still pretty upset at the time.

Natalie writes Almost Never Clever ( http://almostneverclever.wordpress.com ), a deviant scrapbooking blog that just might surprise you.

Honestly, whenever I have a nagging feeling, I just do the thing even if it doesn't completely make sense. For $200, I would do it just to take it off your plate and have the option in the future. You can never go back in time and change your mind.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

My baby book is notes in the margin of my older sister's baby book. I survived -- and still often feel like the favorite child ;-) But please don't tell my sister!

I'm a second child, and the second of three, no less. My sister's baby book was filled out in detail for the first four years (or, as she'll tell you, filled out in detail until I came along), and my younger brother's features lots of detail because my parents knew he was going to be the last. My book, on the other hand, is woefully unfinished. My first steps are not documented--and my dad accidentally taped over them for a Celtics/Laker game that the C's didn't even win--and my first words are often confused with those of my brother. Still, I never thought this was a big deal. I understood that they were busy with my sister, and in the end, I knew that they loved and cared about me. They were enthusiastic about the achievements I could remember--school plays, awards and trophies, good grades, etc.--rather than those I was told about by others (i.e. first steps, first haircut, etc.), so I always remember them supporting and caring for me. If you love New Baby as much as Grace when he/she arrives, I'm sure that none of the differences in "pre-game coverage" will matter. :)

Congrats on your new baby! So exciting!!
-Cooley