OK, so I was single for four days. Yes, we're crazy. Um. Third time's the charm?

I'm sure someone's thinking, OK, Next time wait a week before you say you're single again! But, I think that if I'm at the point where things are happening, and I feel like I'm keeping them secret, that's when I'm really in trouble. Romance is messy, yo.

Anyway, in my four single days, I found myself thinking about the "rebound relationship." Specifically, do you ever get to a point where you've just outgrown it? I can remember a relationship I think of as a rebound relationship, but it was a long time, and many men ago.

Even after my worst relationship - evil cheater guy - there wasn't really a rebound so much as a fly-by-night. I can't really call it a rebound from my perspective, because he's the one who took me on another quick spin around the dysfunction pole. (It's pretty much a miracle that I continued to brave the Angelino dating pool.) I suppose I think if you're rebounding, it's you that's driving the crazy car.

You certainly can't just assume a rebound relationship is going to happen, or should be allowed for in others, or you risk missing out, right?

Valancy Jane says:

The only reason people say ….

… that rebound relationships never work is because it’s a title you only apply after you break up.  If you live happily ever after with them, it never occurs to you to call them a rebound relationship.

Amen to that! I know people happily married to people they started dating while they were still married to someone else. I certainly don't approve, and I tend to think that's *really* unhealthy, but there it is anyway. Sometimes, people swoop, and they end up with the grand prize.

Really though, I think whether you "rebound" or not has to do with where you reasonably and honestly are after the break-up, emotionally speaking. I was fully intending to take some time post-Hunky Actor Boyfriend to get over my pain at the loss of him, but I was feeling healed by the relationship more than damaged.

My main concern was something HeresayHeather shared recently in her post, Getting Ready:

How much time does one really need?
How will I know? I don't want to take advantage of people. I don't want to enter a relationship, no matter how frivolous, if I'm not ready. It would be ill-advised and unfair to the person I am seeing. I also don't want to enter into something and make it seem like my previous relationship was so meaningless that I "got over it" quickly. Out of respect, shouldn't people wait a while?
But I also don't want to mark a date on the calendar and say "This is the date that I will be ready".

That made me laugh, because that's exactly what I was doing in my head. I so totally would have written it on my calendar!

My mental foray back into singletown was sharply curtailed by the arrival of a hunky actor (my hunky actor!) at my work bearing 2 dozen roses, a lunch invitation, and a lot of relationship discussion. For the record, I was *completely* surprised, and I'm happy we're back on. So far, we haven't taken our steps forward in the most ideal ways possible, but here we are anyway, making progress in our own way.

I guess I'm gambling a few more months (or many more months, or maybe forever) on this one.

If you'd like to read more about rebound relationships, check out this great post at "the relationship gym," aptly titled, Rebound Relationships. (h/t buzybee)

Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.