The Outside Life: Movies (Django)

Went and saw Django with the manfriend tonight. The D is silent - don't forget that. Or you will get your head shot off. Or your man junk (penis).

Before I get into the movie and that whole shabang, I'd like to talk to you first about the previews.

If you're not going to see this movie then I probably don't like you. Just saying. It sounds hilarious and looks even funnier. It's like word vomit with a movie. In which, I cannot wait.

We saw a trailer, of course, for some new supernatural-alien-takes-over-human-body movie. Since when are aliens back in? I thought this was the season of vampires and werewolves? Or are aliens making a comeback? Anywhoo..

Manfriend: Was that an alien movie? I'm not good at guessing those things.

me: Well, we know it was supernatural, so you've got that going for you.

Manfriend: So, alien?

me: It sure wasn't humpty dumpty doing that shit.

Ah, the good old days. Humpty Dumpty, you dumbass.

So at the end of the trailer, apparently these human beings are somewhat "taken over" by the aliens? Loss of function? I have no idea. So the lead lady screams and is holding a knife looking out - I'm guessing - toward the "maybe" alien space craft. And a dark (alien-like) shadow is moving behind you.

It's always behind you, bitch. Do I have to point out that obvious fact?

Enough of trailers. Let's get to the good stuff. Or, the not-so-good stuff. I won't give away the ending, but you will have to wait three hours, so if you need to shot gun a red bull before this movie, I won't blame you. And unlike Funny People - which seemed like it was going to end six different times - I thought this movie was only ending once before it did. But of course, the ending was what it needed to be, I'll say.

This movie was awkward for me. I'm used to my comedies being far, far, far apart from any other type of movie. Jonah Hill, you bastard, you made this movie hilarious. In the one scene you were in. If anything, you all have to see this movie just for that part. Then you can leave.

I, however, did not like some of the scenes. I cringed. Still cringe even thinking about it. Remember when I talked about my body feeling awkward? It's kind of like that. Except I don't even have man junk to mentally imagine the pain. It's a feeling I couldn't... even... imagine. How scary is that? If you're squeamish, I do not - under any cirumstances (except for the Jonah Hill scene) - recommend this movie to you.

Leo played a very good Candie man, if I do say so myself, but I've got to say - this is one of my least favorite roles he's played. My top favorites are Shutter Island and Inception. I've got a thing against cruelty towards anything - living or dead - so that's why this kind of... didn't rub me the right way.

I do love fireworks after every movie though. Thank you, Mr. Quentin Tarantino.


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