Overcoming the possibility of Divorce
Gosh where do I start...
My husband and I have been married 9 years & have three children. About 3 weeks ago he stated he didn't want to be married anymore. We talked, I cried, he left for 2 days and I begged him to come home. He was very distrot and confused at what he wanted. I honestly think he's going through mid-life. Can that happen at age 32? How can someone love work & want to be alone more than coming home to a family who loves him? He came home and we talked out the issues. He stated our marriage was "numb". I totally agree! When you're married to a workaholic who works 6 days a week, leaves before you wake up and comes home well passed 10PM. Of course there is no time for romance.He also stated that he loves his job more than me and the kids. That one hurt because I knew it was true.He was making it too desirable for me to want to leave so he wasnt the one to be responsible for breaking up the family. He said, I don't care if I have to give you and the kids 100% of my pay check as long as I have a place to live and my job. He doesn't even want the kids! I did ask him if he was seeing someone else. He said no.
He decided to stay home and make it work. Though I knew inside he already gave up. He was physically here but not mentally. So for the 4th of July we all went to hang out with friends at a tail gate party to watch fireworks and he was completely anti social and stated he just wanted to go home and go to bed. It' was embarrassing but I got over it.
I had received a text from him with an invite to a party for his grandma and niece but instantly told him we couldn't go. The reason was because it was our anniversary and I had a surprise getaway planned to try to rekindle our marriage. I told him that I had a surprise the day of our anniversary and he looked at me and just walked out the door. Haven't seen him since. He ditched me on our anniversary. I thought your wife was supposed to come first? Don't get me wrong I love his family and we get along SO well! So I wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize that. But I have to be honest, his whole family is divorced so he doesn't have a great influence. He thinks it's ok. When I married him I took a vow. I don't believe in divorce at all unless it's an abusive relation ship. But I can't force someone to love me either.
How am I doing?
We'll at first I was scared and hurt. He's gone, I'm waiting for him to make a decision on whether he wants to stay or leave the kids and I. But I turned to the lord and am now trusting him. I have a great support of family and friends, an awesome job lined up as an RDA and great kids who love me. I'm not scared anymore. I have been living my life and having fun with the kids. If he decides he wants to come back, fine! But he has to want to. I'm too much of a positive person to have such negativity around me. Will I ever be able to forgive him? I don't know. The things he's said and done, I don't think I can ever love him again. He's hurt me way too many times in our 9 years together. Did I run? NO! I knew we had hope. But he's a coward and gives up to easily.
Is anyone else dealing with this or already have? How did you get though it?
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