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If one of the names you answer to is "mom," chances are good that you live a decent portion of your life feeling overwhelmed. As if the responsibility of caring for another person's (or people's) every need isn't enough, you most likely also have a house to maintain, bills to pay, perhaps a job to go to or a business to run, a blog (or two or three) to keep up, a partner to cheer on, organizations to volunteer for, classes, activities or meetings to attend or to shlep kids to, and the list goes on and on and on. If you don't feel overwhelmed, then I call shenanigans and want to know what your secret is!
After reading a blurb on 5 Minutes for Mom last week announcing that a blogger who's name I recognized - Anissa Mayhew - was on an episode of Oprah, I checked my TIVO and was happy to find the show was still there. I didn't heed Janice's advice to keep tissues nearby as I turned it on, but I should have. The episode was called "An Overwhelmed Mom's Deadly Mistake" and focused on a woman named Brenda Slaby, a mom of two daughters and assistant principal who tried her best to be "supermom." Her world came crashing down when, on a hot afternoon in August 2007, Slaby accidentally left her sleeping 2-year-old daughter in the car when she went into work. Her daughter died of heatstroke. Slaby "went from being a good role model for children, a good administrator and a good parent to being the most hated mom in America."
I can only imagine what this mom must have gone through and continues to go through every day of her life. But as many others said on the show, this could happen to any of us. We've all done things (or not done things) without thinking about it. And like many moms on Oprah admitted, I've made my mistakes too. I've forgotten on a couple of occasions to buckle my daughter into her carseat. In my case and in Slaby's case, it was a break in routine that brought about the mistake. In her case, she wasn't the one who usually took her kids to school and daycare in the morning, but her husband had a dentist appointment which required her to do it that day and break her routine. And in my case, I didn't buckle Ava right when I put her in her seat which I usually do, but went into the front seat to assemble a toy I'd just bought for her. Thankfully in my case Ava was fine, and in most cases these mistakes don't prove to be anything more than a wake-up call for the parents, but they are always followed with thoughts of "what if."
The topic of moms being overwhelmed is really nothing new. I wrote Confessions of a less than perfect mommy just three months ago when I confessed that I was having anxiety attacks from biting off more than I could chew. I just recently found myself in that place again and, thanks to a reminder from Julie at Chez Artz who said, "recent events have lead me to believe that I’m juggling so much that I’m truly at risk of serious injury," (and boy, do I hear that!) I am forcing myself to slow down and reevaluate. But I digress.
Anissa, during her brief Oprah appearance, did a great job speaking about the unattainable bar that we've set for moms. She said we put pressure on ourselves to do more and be more and we lose focus of what is supposed to be the most important thing, our children. To which Oprah replied, "Yeah, being able to be present for your children," which ironically is the theme of a blog carnival over at API Speaks this month.
The recurring theme of the show was that we as moms need. to. slow. down. Jodie at jodified designs. the blog. watched the episode of Oprah and confessed to leaving her kids in the car on several occasions. "Yes I leave the car running with the air on and yes I'm always just running in somewhere, but that's just it. I'm always RUNNING." She decided to share Slaby's story on her blog "because what happened to her could have happened to any one of us. We're all overwhelmed. Emotionally, physically, financially, mentally. Exhausted." She encourages all moms to slow down.
