Own Your Beauty: I Look Different Now Than When We Got Married

I love your post! I too am working on Loving who I am and I came upon this post at just the right time. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for sharing! I'm working on this :-)

yes, it hit home for me too, and I am 52 and married 18 years. I often wonder how those little old couples that look like salt and pepper shakers feel about aging together and growing old together. And why is it hard for me to allow myself to do the same? Yes, I am much better and more accepting and trying to raise my daughter to be accepting and proud of herself. And thank goodness I can learn more and faster now at my age. It is quite freeing! But somehow I still feel held to a different standard...my own, I guess! Thank you for sharing these true feelings.

I think you might be my new Super Hero!

Liesl Garner, Fashion Marketing Writer for the FleeceFootwear UGG Boots Blog ( http://fleecefootwear.com/ugg-boots-blog/ )

Let's start a BeautyRevolution ( http://somuchmorethangoodlooks.tumblr.com/ )!

maybe different but still beauty in a most mature way. Everybody evolves... #wwo

Thanks so much for such a wonderful posting. I'd love to see myself thru my husband's eyes at least once. He's always been my #1 admirer!

Preach, girlfriend.

I think, as married/partnered/whatever you want to call it, women, we get very tied up in our partners perceptions of who we are. They are our "other half," our "soul mate" our raison detre. We become half of that whole, sometimes losing perspective of the woman we are (the same holds true for becoming mothers).
My body is not perfect, but my husband loves me, regardless, and I have faith that, that fact will not change. That being said, this line resonated deeply with me:

"The problem is that no matter how much I love my husband, he is only human, and he will fail me. I am only human, and I will fail him."

Neither of the halves of the whole are perfect. We learn to live with the "little" things, but it's how we handle the big things that matter. And while we need to be united as that whole to do that, we also need strength from within ourselves, as well. Our beauty is more than the skin. It is also the self.

Excellent article!

Yup, I definitely look different now than when we got married, but so does he! We have grown old together and we still make a dang good lookin' couple. Your post was awesome. Beauty comes with perspective, perspective comes with attitude, and attitude begins with you. We are what we think we are! Thanks so much for reminding me of that. Carol

I recently finished 5 1/2 months of chemo. Talk about redefining beauty, I lost all my hair of course, and when I realized I couldn't put on mascara anymore, 'cause my eyelashes were non-existent, I started redefining my own beauty. Takes time....but it's very cool, because now that I'm done w/chemo and the hair is starting to come back, I just decided not to wear mascara anymore. It's such a pain to put on anyway and who really cares but me. Thanks for being so brave. Claudia
www.claudiaspost.blogspot.com ( http://www.claudiaspost.blogspot.com )

I have friends with a few extra pounds who walk around like they own the world! It makes them beautiful. This is an inspiring post and a good reminder to own your looks and be proud of who you are.

It's good to own your health too. I'm glad you've left behind your eating disorder. For the next two weeks before T-giving I'm making an effort to own my health with healthy eating, portion control and exercise.

Best,

Best,

Margee 

Blogger at www.sleepingwiththelaundry.com ( http://www.moxiemom.com/ ) and author of the iPhone app, Sleeping With the Laundry: Notes from the Mommy Track,

This post really hit home for me! I find myself thinking the same destructive phrase all the time: I wish I was prettier for you. Thank you for reminding me how negative this line of thinking is.

http://quidquidquidquid.blogspot.com

Every person deserves to feel beautiful, but you are right: it has to come from within us. Looking for that reassurance from outside sources usually leads to heartbreak. Great post!

Well, I'm 47 next birthday and with the exception of my wedding day (when I had all sorts of help) I think I look better now than I did twenty years ago.

For me, it's about knowing what works for me, what doesn't. It's about health (I eat healthier now in my 40s and feel better than I did in my 20s.) And about confidence.

Aging might add wrinkles but it doesn't take away glow or a smile.

Alison Golden writes at The Secret Life Of A Warrior Woman ( http://alisongolden.com )

I love where you are going with this! The Fashion/Beauty World could use a Revolution - and I work in it! I love to see Beauty from unusual perspectives, and validate that we all have beauty in some way!

Liesl Garner, UGG Boots Blog ( http://fleecefootwear.com/ugg-boots-blog/ ), BeautyRevolution ( http://somuchmorethangoodlooks.tumblr.com/ ), Love~Sparks~Art ( http://www.lovesparksart.com/ ),

Sure. I look different than I did when we got married. I mean, my hair changes every six months and on days in between whether I wear it curly or straight. And I've gained weight and lost weight and gained weight and had babies and lost weight and gained weight and settled into this... size and shape. My arms aren't as toned, but I can run three miles now, where I couldn't then. And I'm far more at home with myself, especially considering I finally got my anxiety under control.

While I don't look like that girl on that day, it really doesn't bother me too much. Yes, I'd like to wear a size x-jean again, but that's really not going to happen without surgery. (Oh, what birthing did to my hip width!) Quite frankly, and I do believe him, my husband is very attracted to me. He loves when I change up my hair. He loves my curves, especially my post-babies hips.

And, it took until this year, but I love them, too. Stretch marks? Mehhh. But, I'm working on it.

I really think I'm a better version of the physical/mental/emotional version he married those years ago. And sure, I've given him gray hair and he has realized that he has the family hairline, but man, he's quite sexy, too.

And even if he didn't like how I look now, I do! I just feel lucky to have married the man I did.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

I struggle with my own self-image demons and I feel like I could have almost wrote this verbatim.

Thanks for sharing and for letting me know I am not alone in my sometimes self doubts.
 http://www.themarthacomplex.blogspot.com/

Why do we do that to ourselves?
Continue to compare now to then?

I got married 17 years ago and feel pretty damn good that I'm still in relatively good shape, although it's a slightly different shape than before. But overall, not too bad.

We need to be gentle with ourselves and appreciate the fact we are aging with style and grace, right?

Hugs to all my cyber sisters today!

KT

www.AnAuthenticLife.com ( http://www.AnAuthenticLife.com )

When I was just about the same age as you are now, I saw a PBS special called "Fat Chance in a Thin World." One speaker left a lasting impression on me. She said, "think about all the energy women spend on controlling their weight. Think what could be done if that energy was channeled, say, in feeding the hungry." Same goes for preventing the signes of aging.
Impressing as the sentiment is, I am still weight-conscious. And I am still coming to terms with wrinkles.

My Mom is the most beautiful woman I know; it's not just me that says so. Whenever I introduce her to a friend, inevitably I hear, "Wow! Your mom is beautiful. I hope I look like that when/if I get to her age." Mom has deep wrinkles and a roundish shape. She just glows with happiness and love of life. It's not that she doesn't think about how she looks, it's just not her driving force.

It's never too early to love life, laugh out loud and welcome the outward signs that we've met life with open arms.

Adela

Blogging at:

www.oncealittlegirl.wordpress.com ( http://www.oncealittlegirl.wordpress.com )

and

www.theblacktortoise.com ( http://www.theblacktortoise.com )

This is an extremely powerful post. Thanks for sharing it. For me, though, beauty means not needing to "own the room." In being secure and happy even if you're not the most physically beautiful, or thin, or smart, or successful person in the room. Loving yourself means that you're good enough, regardless of who surrounds you. Congrats on choosing a guy who loves you for you and who wants you to love yourself first and foremost. I think we all need a reminder now and then to not define ourselves by how others see us!

Christy

@morethanmommy

This one hit home for me because I'm approaching my anniversary, which means the wedding pictures come out and every year, I notice how little I look like that girl in the pictures. This post gave me pause and made me really reflect on whether I own my beauty or whether it's in my husband's hands.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).