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Caitlin Boyle, the blogger behind Healthy Tipping Point and Operation Beautiful, began blogging in 2008. Caitlin had worked as a freela...
 
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Own Your Spirituality: An Open Mind is a Beautiful Thing

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I should really subtitle this post "Spirituality for Dummies," because really, for most of my life, I have felt like a spiritual idiot. Religion -- what appeared to be the source of all spirituality -- was complex, contradictory, and confusing.

I was outside looking in on religion: I was a child raised without religion. My parents both come from a Catholic background; my mother has become a Unitarian, and my father lives as an atheist. We celebrated Christian holidays, but Christmas was more about the presents and Easter was centered on the bunny (and the chocolate). During my pre-teen summers, I attended a fundamentalist church camp; my mother sent me there because the camp offered horseback riding lessons. For me, the hymns and prayer were secondary.

I bounced between many different religious identifications: As a tween, I would just shrug my shoulders and say, “I dunno” when asked my religion. I went to temple with my Jewish friends and stared off into space. I attended church with my Christian friends and wondered when we’d get to eat lunch. I’d check hotel dressers for The Bible and test myself to see if I still remembered all the names of the books in order –- I always did. But as a surly teen, I declared myself an atheist, stating that it was more reasonable to believe in no religion at all.

As I grew older, I felt something gnawing in my heart. Perhaps spirituality had nothing to do with being reasonable at all, I mused. Perhaps it just had to do with what I felt deep inside. I looked around at the world and thought, “This cannot be all there is ... right?” All those "right place, right time" coincidences started to add up. I considered the complexities of human emotion, biology, the skies and seas, and just knew –- I knew! –- that there was something more.

Since I felt no obligation to any particular creed, I learned as much as I could about all religions and spiritual viewpoints. I loved –- and still enjoy –- openly discussing different religious practices and creeds. To me, religion is just part of the story. A person’s own interpretation of and embodiment of that belief is what makes spirituality a truly beautiful thing. As a result of these discussions, I now identify myself as "spiritual agnostic." I pray. I meditate. I put faith in a higher power. I no longer feel like quite the spiritual idiot that I once did -– but in many ways, I’m still making it up as I go along.

On a walk last week, a friend and I were talking about how it feels to date someone of a different religious background. The issue for my friend was plain and simple: “How can you discuss religion if all you do is argue about the basic truths?” At first glance, it might seem like the religions of the world are so very different. Our world’s religions are constantly at odds –- both metaphorically and literally, and the idea of two people from different religions falling in love and raising children is enough to give most people heartburn. An even more pressing issue is how can one partner explore their own spirituality within their own religion if they can’t talk about it to their beloved? What if the conversation never gets past, “You’re wrong, and I’m right”?

achicmommy for BlogHer.com's Own Your Beauty

Image courtesy of Achicmommy from BlogHer's Own Your Beauty Flickr Group


But if you look closer, our spirituality is all one and the same in many, many beautiful ways. One thing I have always believed is that religious truths can conflict; spiritual truths are universal. There is always a common spiritual ground between two people, even people from the most polar opposite of religious views. To me, this common ground may include: a basic respect for human life and the environment, the complexities of human relationships and feelings, the intense personal satisfaction we derive from volunteering or helping others, and even just the wonder of a new day. Feelings like compassion, generosity, and love are spiritual expressions.

I firmly believe what this world needs is a heavy dose of open-mindedness. To have an open conversation about spirituality -– a conversation that truly goes both ways

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Isabel_Anders 215 pts

Yes!  Only an open mind can truly receive the spiritual gifts life is waiting to give us ...

Thank you!

Isabel

outlawserenade 8 pts

Whew! You've verbalized everything I wanted to write beautifully. Thank you! Now let's pray and hope that open-mindedness can be contagious and 'infect' more and more people.. the world need it. ;)

Barbarahughes 53 pts

I also grew up in a non-religious family. What I got from my mother was that she "knew." You reminded me of that. I teach art and spirituality as art is another way to find the Holy. I'll be doing a blog post about that next week. Blessings, Barbara

thymebombe 5 pts

Thank you so much for writing this! I have been so scared to even hint at my total lack of religion on my blog because, being from the south, that sort of thing is typically not very well received. It is so nice to hear another blogger in the south make that kind of proclamation and not be afraid of it. I am also hitting a point where spirituality is starting to seem less granola and more healthy. But religion? Gads no!

runbetty 5 pts

This is the post I've been wanting to write myself but haven't.

Partially because I couldn't find the words, and partially because I am afraid of what people (my Mom) would think.

Thank you for finding the words to express a sentiment I share. I love this post.

livingwithumami 5 pts

I was raised Catholic. My husband's parents were Lutheran & Buddhist. My husband is agnostic & I don't know what the heck I am. I feel like as long as we are true to ourselves & those we love that we will be just fine. If we are real & take off our masks & live with an open heart, than you are living to your greatest capacity & you will be rewarded in life. Its along the lines of Karma & the energies I believe each one of us has within us that connects us.

My big question is what do I teach my son? I want to give him guidance & structure which is usually what religion provides, but without the judgement & guilt that I was raised with.

I'm totally with you!

xo, Shannon
www.livingwithumami.com ( http://www.livingwithumami.com )

Emily B 5 pts

"There is always a spiritual common ground between two people." Absolutely. Amen.

Thanks for this post. My husband shared a pretty similar experience to yours growing up (I grew up Christian), and we've managed pretty well to keep our focus on the spiritual beliefs we share. We are all so much more alike than we are different, don't you think?

Bonnie Crowder 5 pts

When I got married, I was Christian and my husband was atheist. While there was some awkwardness, it ultimately afforded me the freedom to follow my heart's true spiritual path and leave the church. I think if I had married a man from the churches I grew up in, it would have caused a lot more conflict to the detriment of my spiritual health. I'm glad I had that freedom. I feel so much more full now than I did before b/c I've found the spiritual path that feeds my soul. :)

Bonnie
The Shape of a Mother ( http://theshapeofamother.com/ )
Zebrabelly ( http://zebrabelly.wordpress.com/ )

theoutcast 8 pts

Personally, I could not fit all of my spiritual beliefs into one particular religion. It is too complex to me.

I think religion is valuable when bringing communities together but tend can water down an individual's potentional. I believe we can easily draw the best from ourselves when we are able to access our own spirituality.

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

staceys_girl 6 pts

My belief has always been quite simple: the Goddess wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.

A religion is like a penis: it's fine to have one. It's even fine to be proud of it. But don't whip it out and wave it around in public, and DON'T try to shove it down my child's throat.

Robyn