Owning YOU on Valentine’s Day- Redefining Love & Beauty

Dear Pinkies, please welcome back photographer and blogger Lone Mørch, proprietor of Lolo’s Boudoir, a delicious, safe space that encourages women to be and express themselves. For Valentine’s day, Miss Lolo has some empowering, thought-provoking thoughts on love and beauty.


Lovely People,

Who do you love? Who loves you? With Valentine approaching, we might be asking such questions. To some V-Day is sweet. To others it is a bittersweet reminder of “without-ness.” Although a mostly joyful single, I am also hopelessly romantic, and it’s with some trepidation I approach this day. Will someone special bring me flowers? What if “not-the-one” invites me out? Would I be better off spending the day semi-depressed with other single girlfriends?

For a moment, I want to hide at home, and wonder why this day, one day out of hundreds, has such power to determine how we feel about ourselves and where we are at in our “love” lives?

What’s in a heart?

My friend Marcy comes to mind. A lover of life, she once asked rhetorically: “What’s in a heart? Really?” I now ask the same. What’s in a heart? What’s in your heart? Love is! There’s maybe some sadness and longings, but above and beyond, there is simply love. Love that’s doesn’t require someone special to be felt or shared. Love that doesn’t care what day it is. Love that’s yours. Was it Monroe or May West who said: “the man might chance, but the love stays the same.”

So this Valentine, no matter what the day brings, I intend to relish this heart-knowing, eat chocolates, buy myself flowers, spread my joy in any way I feel called, and celebrate LOVE. Love that spills into the rest of the year. I hope you will do the same. Because, ultimately, we decide when we want to feel what!

And as with love, today I also feel compelled to ask:

Who the hell decides what beauty is?

Valentine’s Day may also trigger some insecurities in us, especially if we haven’t found the love of our lives yet. Maybe I’m not pretty enough? Maybe I need to lose weight. Nonsense! Just like the media-driven calendar likes to tell us when we are worthy of flowers and chocolate (or not) the media also likes tell us what is beautiful and what is not. But have you ever really, seriously, considered, who decides what is beautiful?

Is it you? Is it your friends? Is it magazines? Is it ads? Is it movies? Is it fashion? Is it models? Is it the makeup industry?

Most of us are very aware of the power of the “media,” yet we continue to succumb to standards propelled by it. Currently body image is a hot topic. Statistically, the number one New Year’s resolution is either dieting, fitness, health changes or something related. We are obsessed with our “image,” and yet, what image are we attempting to attain?

Normal Size

A few smart media people have brought “normal-size” women into their advertising and fashion shows. TV shows like to show “real women” naked. But either way, most of us still adhere to and try to emulate directives that swirl around us in our attempts to feel worthy, beautiful, part of the fabulous crowd. Most of us still beat our bodies into shape or have five items on our weekly to-do lists to look and feel “right”.

What’s this really about? Why do we hand away our power to invisible forces that are driven by money and perverted beauty sense?

The “backstage drama” of this I often see at my studio. Women feel at once unworthy and deeply offended. There is a sense of rebellion. They want to see themselves beautiful, even if they don’t fit the standards. They want to claim their female bodies and their sensuality. They want to connect with being a woman, sexuality and beauty on their own terms.

How do we as women take back our bodies, our beauty, and our spirit, and own what is ours, regardless of size, ethnicity and features? And, if we are really honest, the body doesn’t define the true heart of us anyway, so how do we really evoke change in this area of our lives?

Redefining love and beauty,
Miss Lolo

Owning Pink was founded by Lissa Rankin M.D. to help women explore their authentic selves (we call it getting your MoJo back!) Please visit our site at www.OwningPink.com and our online community at http://owningpink.ning.com/