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AV Flox is a Peruvian transplant living in Los Angeles. She is the editrix-in-command of Sex and the 405, a site that shows you what your newspaper w...
 
 
 
 

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Painful Sex: Could You Have Vaginismus?

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If you’ve never heard of vaginismus at first skim it might appear as little more than a social media hashtag connoting witty female sayings. In reality, vaginismus is the inability or difficulty in allowing penetration of the vagina. The symptoms vary from discomfort, to burning or stinging with tightness during sex, to impossible penetration. Some women even have difficulty with the insertion of other objects, such as fingers, tampons or a speculum during a vaginal exam, but many are able to allow this sort of penetration, just not sex.

The cause is the involuntary tightening of the pubcoccygeus muscle (more commonly known as the “PC muscle” within the pelvic floor). Now, there are different types of vaginismus: primary and secondary. Women who have never been able to have sex without pain because of extreme vaginal tightness may be suffering from primary vaginismus. Women who develop painful tightening after years of pain-free sex could be suffering from secondary vaginismus.

According to Vaginismus.com, secondary vaginismus commonly “strikes women experiencing temporary pelvic pain problems such as urinary or yeast infections, pain from delivering babies, menopause, or surgery.” While the initial problem may be treated successfully, difficulties with sex may continue due to a conditioned response by the body.

Dr. Madeleine Castellanos, a New York-based sex therapist, explains the body’s response in secondary vaginismus this way:

What is almost universal in women with vaginismus is the creation of a vicious cycle that goes from difficulty with penetration with or without pain, to negative thoughts about it, to increased anxiety or fear, to avoidance and hypervigilance, to guarding and muscle contraction. This cycle continues to reinforce itself and becomes increasingly distressing for the individual and the couple. Because this vicious negative cycle complicates treatment and reinforces fear, the sooner that a woman receives treatment for vaginismus, the better.

Psychology has a definite role in vaginismus. Not only does anxiety about the problem and fear of experiencing pain exacerbate the problem – it can also be at the root of the initial onset of vaginismus. A fear of pregnancy, Castellanos notes, as well as anxiety over body issues, and fear of pain, can lead to the involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor. So too can stress, issues with a partner, emotional trauma, and childhood experiences.

Despite the role psychology plays in vaginismus, it is important to remember that it is involuntary, which means that it is not a woman’s fault. Just as often the reasons are physical; vaginismus can occur due to any sort of pelvic surgery, urinary tract infections, yeast infections, cysts, sexually transmitted illness, the use of certain medications (side effects), childbirth, menopause, sex with little or no foreplay, among others.

Often, it is a combination of things. As Castellanos suggests, the smartest thing to do if you should experience tightening that makes sex painful or impossible is seek immediate attention. A gynecologist can help isolate the trouble and begin laying out the groundwork for treatment. The good news is that this is a highly treatable issue. Dr. Castellanos elaborates on the treatment:

Dilators are almost always used as part of the treatment for vaginismus. Progressively wider and larger dilators are used by a woman at home to provide physical stretching of the entrance of the vagina. In using dilators, women also become increasingly comfortable with the sensation of penetration. This helps decrease anxiety, reassuring a woman that she can experience penetration under her control and without pain. Therapists work not only with the individual, but also with the couple so that the partner can gain understanding of the condition and be helpful once penetration is to be attempted.

As Castellanos points out, the treatment that addresses both the physical and psychological aspects of the problem is the best course of action.

FROM THE BLOGS

While Always Beginning the World does not exactly appear to be a case of vaginismus, the reaction she experienced when seeking medical assistance to treat what turned out to be a very thick sepate hymen, drives the point that often, a second and third opinion in dealing with such issues is essential:

When I was 22, I finally went to an OBGYN for the first time, to ask for birth control pills. I had heard they could help manage heavy periods. The doctor attempted a female exam on me. After a great deal of pain, shame, and embarrassment was suffered through, she finally

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Maypaki 5 pts

Primary Vaginismus. If you have it, then your body is NOT designed for sex. It is God's way of telling a woman that she is DESTINED to become a nun or celibate. So if you have it, go on and BECOME A NUN. Or be CELIBATE. That's because it is God's way of controlling the global population. God created women with such sexual dysfunction to keep them away from sex and thus preventing conception. Unfortunately, most women don't realize it and would still go through days and weeks of therapy which is just time consuming. Trying to remedy your condition is against God's will. God does NOT want you to have sex. If you're a woman, don't get married & don't have sex if your VAGINA wont let you. God had CLOSED the gates of your virginity. FACE IT! You have a NUN'S VAGINA. It is time to give up on men and become a NUN. VAGINISMUS may be the answer to overpopulation. God truly works in strange ways.

I am now an enlightened man.

katmart29 7 pts

Oh, my, I can not believe that there is actually a name for this condition...well, now that I have typed and then thought, I guess I could. But I have never heard of it. Now I know!

http://wp.me/1DKGQ

searchingformyo 5 pts

i think pain during sex, and lack of orgasm, are topics that are RARELY, if EVER, talked about in women's circles.

i get why that is ... it's embarrassing, it's expected that we know how to manage and handle our bodies ... as one of the commenters alluded ... just light a freaking candle and take a bath? what's the big deal?

so i started a new blog. because i'm tired of googling "difficulty having female orgasm" or "pain during sex" and only finding WebMd and Cosmo as the sources of information. because while both can be helpful at times, what we women really need is community. and support.

so come visit my blog.

searchingformyo.blogspot.com/

[it's BRAND new, and there's barely anything there.] but i decided that as i take this journey to learn better for myself, i'll share. you know, so other women can hear my story and know that a) they're not alone, and b) maybe something that (hopefully) helps me will help them too.

CapricornGirl 5 pts

Im so glad to have found this! am experiencing this right now, and its nice to know im not the only one! Its comforting knowing this can be reversed!

Thankyou for posting :)

Nobody wants to be Ethel 23 pts

I didn't have this problem until menopause. Once you stop having menstrual periods you kinda forget about your vagina. I have estrogen tablets twice weekly to help. If I don't use them or enough lube it sucks. I'm working on my issue VERY SLOWLY. I hoping it will get better.

The Patty Beat can be found at  http://pattyabr.wordpress.com ( http://pattyabr.wordpress.com/ ) where The Fearless Cook resides ready to take on your most feared items in the kitchen.

MrsDriver 5 pts

SassyAss80-
Sex may be overrated to you, but you could only know that if you've been able to do it. Being able to have sex for "recreation" is a gift, and it can be extremely painful to not have that gift. I feel like you're missing the bigger picture of this issue.

Rachel
www.brightenthepath.com ( http://www.brightenthepath.com )
"We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own." -Ben Sweetland

dhara 5 pts

hi, when ever i have intercorse or when i mastribute

skin pops out like lump(swell) on labia majora area left side,like round shape on perticular area.

what must be the problem?? should i cunsult physician for it or any remedy???

plz help!!!

MrsDriver 5 pts

I was so excited to see someone blogging on this topic, I was going to thank you for it before I even read it. I'm flattered that you quoted my experience as an example. Thank you for raising awareness! I believe a little education can go a long way.

Rachel www.brightenthepath.com ( http://www.brightenthepath.com ) "We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own." -Ben Sweetland

SassyAss80 5 pts

I think that sex is over rated. Life cycle changes and hormone changes in life both men & women experience different aspects of their bodies reacting to whatever is going in at the time. Take a bath, light some candles, burn some incents, wear comfy PJs, just chill out and let the course of things happen the way there intended. Meaning if it’s a night for relaxation and no nookie then so be it. But if you rip roaring and ready to go and your body feels good and willing to accept it… then proceed. There no rush or pressure. If there is maybe you need to look at what your doing and why. It’s your mind that creates pain & fear. Remember that it’s your body. Not everything has to have a diagnosis or some sort of medical treatment to figure out WHY????. ;)

DigAng 5 pts

Well, I'll talk about it!

YES

I suffered from Vaginismus - I was of the 'impenetrable' kind. I was married for four years and remained a virgin the whole time.

You can learn more about my story by watching my book trailer and then reading my memoirs (coming soon as an online serial):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LmDDNLyk4M

Thanks for talking about this - I was floored to see your headline.

Angela

Angela DiGiovanni | Living Out Loud ( http://AngelaDiGiovanni.com/about/ )

The Virgin Wife Chronicles ( http://angeladigiovanni.com/the-virgin-wife-chroni... )

Melissa Ford 47 pts

I think the fact that this post has gotten thousands of reads, but still has no comments is really telling. I think people need to talk about this more because while it's not a given, it is common enough and we rarely hear about it. Which means that people who suffer from vaginismus often suffer in silence. So there's a whole emotional component to getting this diagnosis too.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her novel about blogging is Life from Scratch ( http://www.life-from-scratch.com/ ).