By megjac on February 08, 2010
Cops and Robbers?
I want to know where the secret police substation is. Since Sunday when I was leaving for the game, I've seen no less than seven police cruisers cruising through my neighborhood. This is not downtown Beirut or even Martin Street. There should not be this many cops floating around. A little police presence is okay, its great even, but too many of them make me nervous.
Are they looking for someone? Is there a crime wave going on that no one is talking about? Is there something bad happening that I don't know about? I spend a lot time wandering around in the dark and if there is a boogie man out there in it, I would like to know. I need to know if I need to take the safety off Dogger. I have to go through my owners manual and make sure I know how to work the latch on her jaws. Right now, I have it set to gnaw cardboard but it can be set to shatter femurs. I just need to go online and get the new codes.
She doesn't have jaws like normal dog, what she has through the miracle of uncontrolled cross breeding is what amounts to a bear trap. One of the illegal ones. She could eat a car - an old -school, Detroit made, 100% steel land-yacht. Easy. She not really interested in engine blocks though. She's more into severe soft tissue damage and displays of dominance. Thanks to the jaw locks I have on her, she indulges in her her forbidden desires by ravaging her toys. Instead of sucking out bone marrow she keeps herself in shape by removing the stuffing of her soft toys through their eye sockets - after she tears out their jugulars.
I haven't seen anything on our walks that looks like it would warrant all the cops though. I'm out three times a day and walk over a varied route and nothing looks out of the normal. I would notice too, I'm out all the time, there hasn't been any new house fires, no ore than the usual, pre-existing troubling gang realted vandalism, no bodies laying around. Nothing that looks off or raises red flags and my flags are almost always at half mast.
I read the paper every day and there hasn't been any stories of anything going on either. Its curious. I almost asked one of the cops I saw on our evening walk but I chickened out. I went out on our walk because I heard a siren sputter out and I saw lights at the end of the street and I wanted to rubber neck. It looked as though someone had some issue at one the Pirates at the end of the street, the place was closed and if it was a robbery there would have been more cars and they wouldn't have dispersed so fast. I think it was a slip-and-fall or maybe a drunk fell out or something. Flags remain at presets.