Dear Teacher, I Am "That Parent"

 Citizen_Wife It's funny:  I look after kids for a living, providing child care out of my home.  And there is a similar parent split with this age group.  I either have parents who can't be bothered to consistently send their kids with the clothes, diapers, outerwear, or breakfast they need; or I have parents who call or message me at least twice a week to provide "constructive feedback" on my care environment.  We do need to work together.  We do need to establish and maintain effective communication.  But there also needs to be mutual respect – of each of our time, energy and expertise – and that can be a hell of a road block!  Thanks for your perspective on this :-)

It's frustrating. In many private schools, and some public charter schools, there is so much more information made available to the parents. In most public schools, though, we get several pieces of paper and one or two teacher-parent conferences during the school year. I think, though, if enough of us demand the change, we'll see it happen. mobileadmiral

Thanks for the link. I wonder if this disrespectful behaviour on the parents part is the reason so many teachers now seem resistant to parent involvement. Or, in some cases, even resistant to any direct communication with the parents. There is a difference between asking a question and making an accusation. And if I'm unhappy with anything my child's teacher has done or said, that conversation is best held privately. There is no value in undermining a teacher's authority in his or her classroom. CroMom

You're absolutely right. I would never monopolize the teacher at Open House, or corner her outside the school to discuss my child's progress. There is "being involved" and there is "being disrespectful", and I have no intention of ever being the latter.

And teacher gifts? One of my girlfriends has a two Rubbermaid bins of apple-themed items collected over her nine years of teaching. lol I prefer opting in with the other parents for a giftcard or something at Christmas and year's end :) Peep Into My Life...

As a student, that is going to be a teacher, and a mother of two wonderful children, I feel we have every right to confront a teacher, or go to the school and talk with them about our child's progress. As parents we have every right to make sure are children are on the right path, and that they are achieving their full potential.

My kids go to a private school because some public school teachers in our area teach for the testing. They have no compassion, or passion for that matter to help the children. At my children's school the teachers have an open door policy; come in and help whenever you like, ask as many questions as you want, and they will even stay after school if they feel your child can use the extra help.

You become a teacher to help children in their educational growth, and hope that you can make a difference in that child's life. What better way to do that then to have a parent that is there to back you up and to support you and that child.

That school sounds wonderful! Our school doesn't have an open-door policy, and while I understand and respect that, I am also not the only parent of children there who would like to be more involved. I'm hopeful that once we get through the first crazy month of the school year, that will change. rodrigzrta

I agree - To be independent, responsible and accountable is such a gift to our kids. I love that you were able to step back and allow them to do their own communicating as they get older. That's the goal!Idiot Mom

Thank you! We really do give up a HUGE amount of information about our child's experiences when we choose not to stay informed about their school day. Especially if your kid is like mine, and gives a two sentence summary on her day before tearing off to play :) SHembree

lol You mean, without the obsessive compulsive part? ;) mcalislr

A parent actually called 6 months after graduation to have a high school grade adjusted?!?! I'm shaking my head, right now. Wow.

kendalldog I think if more parents were able to be actively involved in schools, we would see such an improvement in the learning environment that there would be no need for Those Parents, like us. We'll get there!

DesiValentine4 She sure did call. I had already left teaching for another job and was called by the principal at my new job. I refused to change the grade, but he went ahead and did it anyway.

Wow. Just, wow. kendalldog

Thank you! I agree with you absolutely - the parent/teacher/careprovider relationship is so essential. I want my kids to have so many open doors, limitless choices, and I think they need all of our support to get there. livelovenrun

Thank you victorias_view ! I really hope so!

DesiValentine4 Trust me they do! I have volunteered a lot in both of my sons classes and they appreciate the extra work parents put into their child's education. I also have been known to call and harass the transportation department ;)