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I'm the BlogHer Contributing Editor on parenting children with special needs, and I'm at your service.  I am more than a parent, but with three...
 
 
 
 

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Parenting Kids With Cerebral Palsy

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When people I meet comment on my son Leo's special needs and the difficulties families like mine must face, I usually have two reactions: One: I want them to know that cultivating a positive attitude helps tremendously, and Two: Every kid with special needs had a unique set of what Ellen Seidman terms "special powers." I'm used to Leo's quirks, I'm comfortable with them, they're just one part of the boy I love so much. But there's as much of an onus on me as there is on anyone else to get more familiar with other children with special needs and their stories. With that in mind, I asked three parents of children with cerebral palsy to tell us about their kids:

What type of cerebral palsy does your child have, and what are his challenges?

Love That MaxEllen: Max has four-quad spastic cerebral palsy, which means that all four of his limbs have some kind of muscle tightness.

Jennifer: Jack has cerebral palsy ataxia, one of the less common forms of CP. He didn't walk until he was two, and not independently until about three. Stairs came even later. We were happy to wait, because his doctors said he would probably never walk. He has low tone as well. His fine motor skills, while continuing to improve, leave him unable to coordinate most tasks that require a pincer grasp. His motor planning skills do not come naturally, so he needs each task broken down into all of the parts, repeated over and over, then put back together. I honestly had no idea life was made up of so many parts until I met my son.

Bridget: My son, Harold, has "Severe Spastic Pentaplegic" cerebral palsy with dystonia (variable tone.) Severe. Spastic. Pentaplegic. And a side order of dystonia. Meaning, most of the time, his legs, arms, and neck are tight. The dystonia is mostly at his core, his spine. Straight limbs, slumped over. He's in a wheelchair. He's in diapers.

Can't walk. Can't crawl. Can't sit up unassisted. Can't roll. Can't talk.

Can scream. Can laugh. Can communicate quite well using Assistive and Augmentative Technology. Can signal "Yes" with a head nod (most of the time) and "No" with a shake of his head (most of the time.)

Drools, slobbers, coughs, gags and in general, has a difficult time managing his saliva. Has been tube fed his whole life. Has seizures. Has Cortical Visual Impairment (CVI) -- basically, can see but is legally blind. Can hear very well. No scoliosis, "yet." No contractures, "yet." He's got Developmental Delay. Mostly, he is slowed physically by his CP so that he can not display his full potential. By that, I am referring to his brainiac geekiness. He's smart, but slow. He's got a quick wit and a great chuckle.

It is ghastly to list this all out, but it doesn't tell it all. There's no way to "get" Harold on the page. He's a meet-and-greet kind of guy. He's a great kid and he has a lot of challenges. Lots The greatest challenge is the ole "what you see is what you get" impression. Publicly and socially, at school especially, there are very few people who actually get to know him. People can't or don't have the time to catch on to his nuances. You have to be very patient. Harold has to be very patient, all of the time. He's a ten year old boy trapped in a body that functions approximately like a three month old. No shit. It's frustrating.

What did you know about cerebral palsy before it came into you life?

Ellen: Not that much. I didn't know anyone who had cerebral palsy. The words conjured up a person in a wheelchair, unable to function on his own. I never knew there is a wide-range of forms cerebral palsy can take, never knew I could have a little boy with cerebral palsy who would walk, although it would turn out to affect him in other areas, like speech and his ability to use his hands. It's all

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CPFamilyNetwork 5 pts

Raising a family with multiple children today can be challenging. Add to the mix a child with special needs, and parenting takes on a more daunting role. Coping with the many physical, emotional and social needs of the family unit demands a team effort. To read more about tips for raising a family with a special needs child, visit: http://www.cpfamilynetwork.org/cerebral-palsy-arti...

GaelMc 7 pts

I loved this post, I happed upon it after I wrote my blog and am so glad I did. Maybe you would be kind enough to stop my blog, I salute the young man I never met, and only observed on a bus. He postiviely impacted my life, still does, 10 years later

http://www.blogher.com/unnamed-unlikely-hero.

KevinS 5 pts

Shannon, great post! I stumbled across this doing a Google search and I am so glad that I did. Hopefully it is ok if a Dad makes a comment. Most of the posts I see are always about Autism (which there is nothing wrong with that and I am glad that there is so many out there for those parents). I love the term "special powers." That is so great. I know my wife and I joke about our daughter Lillie's super powers being her ability to "light up a room with her super smile" and her ear piercing "banshee siren scream!" Ha.

Bridget, Ellen and Jennifer thank you so much for sharing. Bridget, my daughter Lillie is in the same boat as Harold. Everyday is a challenge, a miracle and a blast! I know with the Lilster's limited range for grasping and the tightness in her arms, doing simple tasks is a tremendous challenge. I also, didn't realize how many gifts we were all given. Just the ability alone to make a fist and open your hand back up is absolutely miracle.

I know you said that Harold uses a communication device. Have you tried the iPad at all. I would be very curious. I picked one up for Lil the week it came out and it has been a Godsend! So much that she is the "technology" kid in her class. Again, most of the articles about the iPad have been geared towards Autism, but don't discount it. It will open up his world. If you have any questions about it or apps that Lil uses please don't hesitate to give me a shout.

Again, thank you ladies for sharing. Jennifer and Ellen, I will definitely start reading your blogs. Thanks for sharing Shannon!

:: K

www.lilliespad.com ( http://www.lilliespad.com )

SusanPutman 5 pts

Each of us is unique. It just shows more when we add a great physical difference to the mix. What does seem the same though with special kids is the heart, the joy, the determination and love they are willing to demonstrate. Perhaps the message is: diversity itself is a blessing. My CP daughter Cynthia (later diagnosed as Rett's Syndrome), passed away 2004 and I love reading this blog for the commonality of feeling I get from you all. It brings her a little closer. And gives the humility only a handicapped child can give.

Susan Putman, stay with baby.com,

In touch with the spirit of your child

gapgrad 5 pts

All three of those books sound like books I want to read!! Your boys (all of them) have amazing stories...thank you so much for sharing!

Shannon Des Roches Rosa 5 pts

Thanks for sharing him with us.

His fan,

Shannon Des Roches Rosa ThinkingAutismGuide.com ( http://www.thinkingautismguide.com ) | BlogHer.com ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/shannon-des-roches-ros... ) | Squidalicious.com ( http://www.squidalicious.com/ )

Niksmom 5 pts

So many people make assumptions about many disabilities and assume they only manifest in one particular way. Really, if you've met one person with CP, you've met one person with CP.

Nik's CP is so mild to the casual observer; he can walk and run, he can (sometimes) dress and feed himself, and by all outward appearances is "normal" with respect to the sterotypes of CP.

But when you spend time with hiim you realize that constant motion is his way of compensating for really poor core muscle tone and trunk stability; he is incapable of standing still for more than a few seconds. He can't hold a pencil and has very weak fingers. He can't isolate his index finger for things like pointing (though the iPad is helping some with that). He's nonverbal, wears diapers, has significant developmental delays.

He is also smart as a whip with a wicked sense of humor, affectionate and a master at diversionary tactics. He is also one of the most determined people I've ever known; when Nik makes up his mind to do something, no matter how long it takes or how inelegant it may look, by God, he accomplishes it!

He has taught me (and my husband) more than we ever knew we needed to learn about humility, humanity, determination, and spirit.

http://maternalinstincts.wordpress.com ( http://maternalinstincts.wordpress.com/ )