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Sparkle (4)
Parents, any child can become a cutter. Cutting is not a new epidemic. Cutting is not a problem you can just medicate away. Cutting is not a problem you can let fix itself. And I'm sorry to tell you that if your child starts cutting themselves, you have already ignored their problems long enough. Given the nonsense I've just read courtesy of ABC news, I'd like to debunk a few outrageous myths about cutting. These myths ignore the root problems that incite self-harm and cause more damage than you can imagine.
Teenagers do not cut themselves because they saw it on YouTube. The problem is not YouTube.
Cutting is just one form of self-harm. Usually, it happens the first time by accident. Leg or face shaving, cooking, using a utility blade for some completely innocent chore. Those people who become cutters do not just stumble upon news or video of the act and decide it's the thing to do. Your children deserve more credit than that. They fully understand the gravity of the act.
Posting these videos on YouTube is a global cry for help. In fact, we should be grateful for them. Looking to YouTube to shut down the videos under guise of prevention is foolish and just one more instance of the world ignoring a legitimate problem that is looking for an answer. Cutters are savy enough to keep the problem hidden until they're ready for help. Every cutter has or will eventually try to find help somehow, either by letting their scars show or asking for bandages or leaving blood on an article of clothing or in the sink. Posting the videos on YouTube is just another roundabout way to let somebody, anybody know that they need and want help.
Cutters tend to be very, very smart.
Cutters are often so intelligent and so creative that they don't fit in as well as others do, and are often misunderstood or misdiagnosed as having ADHD. This is particularly dangerous, because then parents begin by telling their children that something is wrong with them and these pills will make it better. As that wears on the self-esteem, soon antidepressants are necessary. And soon enough, pre-cutters start to understand that even with pills to be normal and pills to be happy, they aren't happy. The problem must be themselves. And that's when the self-hate begins.
Cutters do not cut because they hang with the wrong crowd, wear the wrong clothes, or listen to the wrong music. That is completely backwards. ANYBODY can be a cutter.
Humans are social animals. We seek out other people who share similar opinions. Cutters do not self-harm because of peer pressure. Just as fashionistas and Biebettes and cooks and knitters tend to hang out with other people of the same ilk, cutters are people that will sometimes hang out with other people in similar mental positions who may also currently or eventually turn to self-harm as a means to cope.
It's very easy to think that anybody that wears black or listens to Siouxsie Sioux is a cutter because it's part of the culture. This sort of backwards thinking, again, ignores the root of the problem and will only exacerbate it. Sometimes you feel so different, so unable to feel happiness that you don't feel like wearing colors. Sometimes teenagers wear black because other people wear black and it's really nice to feel like you belong somewhere. Human, social animals also tend to listen to music that we can relate to. Songs about being pumped about that first kiss or hitting the dance clubs stopped being relatable to cutters a long time ago. So the morose, the macabre, the sad songs of the gothic genre start to become relatable. Nobody just listens to emo music and is suddenly compelled to go carve up their legs.
In fact, let's not keep this strictly to young people. Anybody in any situation, any demographic, any relationship or occupation can self-mutilate. Cutting needs no equal employment acts. Full-time working moms can cut because they are overwhelmed by all the duties of working outside the home and trying to be a good mother when they get home at night. Stay-at-home moms who spend day after day washing the same towels and vacuuming the same floors, can start to resent their children, feel guilty, and cut to cope. It's very easy to think that this issue only affects people who wear too much black eyeliner. In reality, it's not that easy to spot. It
