Part 23, Trials and Tribulations

Hey everyone. Today is yet another Sunday. Pretty uneventful for me, besides running some errands. I've decided to start dieting for my own health and eating better. I just hope I can keep it up this time. I've already started counting calories again today so I hope that I can stay motivated this time. Anyways, down to business!!! It is definitely story time Sunday so here's your post for this week :) Enjoy readers!!!

 

It was always hard in the beginning but lately it's been even more of a struggle. Charles and I got together a month after the rough break up I spoke of earlier; the one Jill helped me get over so quickly. We started dating online at first. We had known each other through an MMO video game for a few years before we even started talking about dating so it wasn't completely weird. Three weeks into the relationship, he paid for a train ticket so that I could go meet him in person and spend an entire week with him just before my senior year of college started up. It was such a fun week. It was a little weird because I also was able to meet his kids for the first time that weekend but we all still had fun. They loved me from the start. Charles and I clicked as well. Our time together was filled with a lot of passion. We played our video game together and watched tv and just hung out together. We also had a lot of sex as well. On average, we had sex twice a day that entire week. That was the most sex I had ever had before and it was great.

We had one little fight the entire time I was visiting, but that was me being overly emotional. I wanted to cuddle after we had sex one night and he didn't want to because of how warm it was, he wanted to cool off first and then he would. Since I was severly insecure about myself and didn't like to make myself vulnerable by giving myself away like that very often, my DID took over and I flipped out. It wasn't bad, but I definitely overreacted and I didn't understand why. I whined and told him that I needed to cuddle at that very moment. I just couldn't wait a few minutes so that he could cool down. So instead of cuddling together and sleeping, I turned, faced the wall, and we slept looking away from each other, not even touching one another. My temper tantrum made it a lonely night. It was okay because it was really warm, but if I had just waited a few minutes, we could have cuddled before falling asleep. I should have taken this moment as foreshadowing for the rest of our relationship, but since the next day and the rest of the trip we had no issues, I just brushed the feeling to the back of my mind and forgot about it.

After the trip I went back to college and went back to work. I tried to go back to being normal and being happy that I had a wonderful man in my life, but I couldn't. I fell back into depression about the recent break up, and very lonely and vulnerable because of being away from my new partner. I was very dependent on him and he made me feel good, it was very difficult being away. So, once classes started back up, I couldn't get myself to go. I was so depressed that I just layed in bed and slept or played video games and watched television instead of getting up and going to class. I was able to get myself to go to work, but even that was hard. I had to see my ex and all of his friends there almost every day. I put on a brave face, like I was over the break up, but I was definitely in my boss' office several times. My boss was a friend of mine before he was my boss, so it was easy to talk to him. He knew that I was with my ex before he became my boss. I had gone to him when my ex's friends were doing and saying things that were out of line and inappropriate for the workplace. I feel bad for him now, I probably was a little oversensative about it all because I did care a lot about my ex so the break up was not easy for me, but it still didn't give them the right to treat me the way they did. I definitely cried a few times in front of him as well, even though I tried hard not to. I will never be able to repay the friendship and kindness he showed me during this time.

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