Part 9, Meltdown

Hey everyone, sorry but this is going to be a smaller post. I don't have much left written right not and I don't want to just post a couple sentences, haha. I hope you enjoy this. I'm going out on a limb here in posting this stuff. It doesn't seem like there is too much interest in my story and the depression seems to be taking away some of my inspiration and motivation so I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to keep this going. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, just keeping it real. Anyway, here's the next portion. Enjoy.


My older brother, Carl, had even tried hanging out with her and having some sort of a relationship with her. They both enjoyed golfing so that's how they normally spent their time together. One day they were out and they started getting into an argument about her new boyfriend at the time, and how she never really tried to call us or be a part of her children's lives. Her response was, “This is my life now, if you want to be a part of it then you have to get a hold of me.” This is a direct quote. Well, as far as what Carl told me, I was not there. Needless to say, they ended that outing early. He went his way and she went hers. They didn't hang out anymore after that. I think that's when Carl first stopped talking to her. When Carl told me what had happened, I could not believe my ears. My mother was telling us that she was not going to even try to be a part of our lives, that if we wanted a mother, we would need to go to her and work around her new life. After this, my dad stopped trying to get us to stay in contact with her and our relationships with her kept going downhill. Not too long ago, when she was harrassing us over facebook, she tried saying that Carl took it completely the wrong way, but I'm not sure how else you can take that statement. She doesn't believe in consequences for herself.

When I was 20, December of 2009, I was a sophomore in college and hadn't heard from her in a good eight months. I was talking to Carl on the phone one day and he tells me that mom had taken $500.00 out of my dad's bank account. It was still a joint account because my dad didn't foresee her being so greedy and taking his hard earned money out of the bank account; the money he earned to help take care of the kids she abandoned. This made it impossible to even try to get the money back, since her name was still legally on the account, she could take out money whenever she wanted. She did this right before Christmas when we were all super tight on money as it was. I could not believe she would go to such lengths to make life hard on my dad, on all of us. What did she even need it for? She lived with her boyfriend who had two kids who were old enough to not even care about getting presents, and he also had a nice job and could take care of all of her needs. She sure didn't send us anything, so we have no idea where the money went or why she took it. She didn't ask my dad for the money, and gave no warning whatsoever that the money was going to disappear. We had no idea how we were going to have a Christmas that year since she had basically taken my dad's Christmas bonus. A mother who never sees her kids, pushes them away so they don't want her to be involved in their lives anymore, and doesn't give them anything, took $500.00 out of a bank account that was mainly for supporting kids she didn't seem to want anymore. I had absolutely no words.

There is only one other time in my life that I can think of that my mother was sort of there for me. When I was 17 years old, a senior in high school, I was helping a friend's older brother with his a project for his graduate's degree. He needed kids around my age to take some IQ tests, among other things. I took two for him. I remember while taking the second one, he mentioned to me that I had textbook depression. I didn't know what that meant exactly, since I hadn't read in a textbook what depression was, but I was already aware that I had this affliction. I didn't realize at the time that I must have been showing other textbook signs, because about a week later I was called down to the attendance office. I had no idea what was going on and why they were calling me down. I never got in trouble, I was a very quiet student. Turns out, someone had called Child Protective Services and said that I had shown signs of being sexually abused. They weren't able to tell me who called them, but I assumed it was this gentleman I had helped out. No one else I knew of at the time would have gone to such lenths like that. I didn't even think anyone cared that I was having issues. My high school group of friends always tried to help me and listen, but they always gave up trying.


Until next time, readers!


-River Rei Hayden

"The night is long that never finds the day." - Shakespeare

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