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Most "karate moms" just do the commute; this one is a black belt after an ACL tear (and several surgeries) nearly ended it all. Black belt, blogger a...
 
 
 
 

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What Is This Guy Doing With a Picture of My Foot?

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It happens to every blogger. At some point, someone leaves a rude comment or even one that might be scary, and it makes you think. Am I taking unnecessary risks? Am I putting myself out there in ways that I shouldn't be? Is blogging really worth whatever risks I might be taking?

I've taken pause several times over the last almost five years of blogging. The first time came when one of my pictures was stolen by a forum rampant with pimply 12-year-olds with internet muscles. It nearly wrecked my family vacation when that happened. However, I didn't take it lying down. I fought back and eventually everything related to me was removed and I received a written apology.

I read with horror a few months ago, when a picture from Heather's blog of her deceased daughter ended up on the computer of a child predator overseas. She was notified by authorities and it was a moment that I'm sure probably shook her to her core.

Yesterday I received a comment on my blog regarding a post I put up years ago when my self-tanner and I decided we weren't going to get along. The pictures that accompanied that post were crucial to the overall post. One picture featured the bottom of my foot, stained indefinitely with self tanner. It was a funny post and it took a lot of guts for me to even take a picture of my feet. Personally, I can't stand feet, even when they're mine. This is the comment I received on a recent post yesterday. Comments on individual posts close two weeks after the post goes live:

Woman's Feet

your feet in *that* post are great. I cant believe you blocked the comments. anyways I now added them to "collection". u should post more.

I guess I thought the person was kidding, so I joked back that I was happy to see their IP address was in the UK. The first rule of self defense, after all, is creating distance. I felt secure in that distance being a giant ocean. It's a creepy comment.

And then today, a second comment:

Do not fear woman, I actually live in the US I just use Proxies. You should be smart enough to know that what goes online stays online. I actually found the site thanks to a popular foot forum. I do offer my compliments. It is a very nice foot.

It's certainly a friendly enough comment, but it gave me pause. First, my picture (or I should say, another one of my pictures) has been added to a site without my approval. Second, the distance that I took comfort in before, is no longer there. Third, Hannibal Lecter was kind of charming in a polite but scary kind of way too. It is a stark reminder for me, that not all those who frequent my website are there because they are interested in me, my life or my writing. Not all are there because we've bonded through martial arts, raising daughters, or going through a torn ACL. Some readers are just interested in pictures of my feet, maybe my face, or God forbid, the rare picture that I post of one of my children.

So what's a blogger to do? Heather installed a Word Press plug-in that I really wish my blogging platform would offer. Perhaps a transfer to a blogging platform that allows me to do this is in order. However, moving almost 1000 posts from one site to another seems daunting and overwhelming. How does one even do that?

There's also the option of password protecting my entire site. However, how does one manage the permissions? What if some crazy person has been pretending to be a nice little reader all along when in reality they have a bulletin board of pictures of me somewhere in a dark closet? I'd also be giving up the ad revenue that this site generates. Although it's not much, it is something and it does help our family.

Perhaps I should relax a bit. When I told Mr. BBM over the phone about the comments, he laughed hysterically. "It's not funny!" I told him. "What do you think these people are DOING with that picture of my foot?" He got quiet then too; but then reassured me that it was simply a picture of my foot. Maybe I should

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SCanon 5 pts

This gave me the heebie jeebies when I read about it on BBM. ICK ICK ICK. Ick.

Somer blogs at Merry Wife of Canon ( http://www.merrywifeofcanon.com ) as well as Smell My Plate ( http://www.smellmyplate.com ).

blackbeltmama 5 pts

I'm actually in the process of relocating right now. I'm hoping it doesn't take too much longer. Apparently, all my pics (5 years worth) had to be moved individually. The post importing went really fast though. I'm fortunate to have a friend who's husband knows what he is doing in this department and he's helping me out.

Black Belt Mama ( http://www.blackbeltmama.com )

blackbeltmama 5 pts

If you click that link over to Heather's blog, you'll see it in her post. Thanks for the comment.

Black Belt Mama ( http://www.blackbeltmama.com )

mashadutoit 5 pts

Just chipping in to say -

If you really want to move your blog to Wordpress, its REALLY easy.

That is actually one of the advantages of Wordpress, that they have an import feature that makes it super easy to move your blog over to them.

That said, its worth knowing the difference between Wordpress.com and Wordpress.org. Not all Wordpress plugins are available in .com, and .org is self hosted which is a whole other kettle of fish.

A link that may be useful: http://en.support.wordpress.com/import/

Melissa Ford 5 pts

It's really creepy, and I think I'd rather live in an ignorance is bliss state if any of my photos where on a fetish site. That said, I never post pics of the kids just because I wouldn't want to ever deal with that possibility. If someone wants to get off on looking at pictures of pancakes, go ahead.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

@Lexandtheciti 5 pts

I can see how that could give anyone pause and also be found rather creepy. It is a hard thing to deal with as a blogger. You want to give your readers a whole picture, yet you have to think about your personal space first that causes a bit of fight.

I totally understand.

Join Me @ Lex and the Citi .Com ( http://www.lexandtheciti.com/ ) Or Pop in on my show Lex and the citi ( http://www.blogtalkradio.com/lexandtheciti ) on Blog Talk Radio

ComputerAngel 5 pts

So sorry. I know about creepy. Do you know what plugin Heather used on her site? I run a photography blog with my sister, and there are a lot of things on there that could easily get consumed by creepies.

Great post, thanks for reminding me to be mindful about posting.

Charred Ice 5 pts

I'm sorry this happened to you. There is a feeling of skeeviness about the whole thing. I've been stalked in real life and on the Internet. There's a feeling of utter helpless that can't be imagined unless you've experienced it.

I hope you and others who have commented about going through this see better days.

Forever Femme

Co-writer of Charred Ice ( http://charredice.wordpress.com/ ) and loves to hang out at Woman Up! ( http://womanup.proboards.com/ )

blackbeltmama 5 pts

Very true and it's creepy and uncomfortable no matter where it happens.

Black Belt Mama ( http://www.blackbeltmama.com )

blackbeltmama 5 pts

The first time a pic of me was stolen, the person who posted it was stupid enough to link back to my site (in order for all of the forum people to see how silly and ridiculous my website was-gah! a girl doing karate!). It was a pic of me about 8 months pregnant and in my gi. They started a forum discussion topic about me and how stupid it is for girls to do karate and how it couldn't possibly be "real" karate (in a nutshell). Then the comments spiraled into threatening and sexual comments and I took action and had the whole thing taken down. But it was a serious fight to make that happen.

Another time, a pic that was taken was hyper-linked (I think that's what you call it) so I could also see the stats that it was coming from that site.

This time, I only knew because this guy showed up with that comment and his subsequent one and told me about it. I'm not sure that I'm glad he told me. I think I'd rather not know (at least about this foot one). Yeech.

Black Belt Mama ( http://www.blackbeltmama.com )

Faiqa 5 pts

I think I may have three maybe four photos of my kids on my site, but the idea that someone would take them off of my site... that scares me.

And I understand why the foot thing bothers you. I'd feel the same way.

Living A Cultured Life At: www.Native-Born.com ( http://www.Native-Born.com )

Authentic Life 6 pts

I guess that's the risk we all take when we "put ourselves" on the Internet.

Thanks for sharing your story.

KT

www.AnAuthenticLife.com ( http://www.AnAuthenticLife.com )

kungchow_krystle 5 pts

This reminds me of something my husband said recently about someone he knew who had found a sensitive work document on some random website. Worrying for sure, and makes you wonder how on earth people get access to these things!

lisanoel03 5 pts

while I do think it gives us something to think about. i think Tiffany is right in that in today's day and age, there could be a thousand photos of your feet or other parts some where you don't know about, anyone anywhere you've been could take a photo without your knowledge. putting them online might allow for more opportunities. And it might allow you to track or find misuse, but its not foolproof protection.
I know personally I have enough info about me, my area and my kids for someone to find us if they chose to. But I think the likelihood of that is much less than the risk every parent faces of someone who's simply seen their child around the school or neighborhood. Of course if someone randomly shows up at my door as one blogger told me happen to another blogger, THAT might freak me out enough to go low profile for awhile!

JennaHatfield 10 pts

Yikes.

That said, I'm not surprised.

Any time I have taken a picture of my feet -- even my feet in fully covered tights with cute black leather shoes on them -- and posted them publicly on flickr, they get comments from people whose favorites include only pictures of feet. Similarly, when I posted pictures of my pregnant self -- which I adored, by the way -- they would get commented on and favorited by people with obvious pregnancy fetishes.

I get freaked out now and again, install the no clicking plugin. And then uninstall after I calm down and get annoyed that I can't right click on my own site. I go back and forth.

As an aside that isn't really an aside, when I first started blogging, it was in a totally password protected, readers of my choosing environment. While it worked for those first few years, I eventually found it too limiting. I want the response of others that are outside of my circle, outside of my specific life experience, especially on my adoption blog. That's why I eventually went public. There's an ebb and flow to what I share and what I keep to myself. I think acknowledging the ebb and flow and being flexible enough to go with it is the key to finding your comfort level.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

Jane Daly 5 pts

I have a beauty blog where I sometimes review nailpolish and post links on my FB. A person I friended way back who I thought was ok but admittedly didn't know that well (local business owner and person about town) sent me a message asking me for pics of the nailpolish on my feet. I thought they were joking and kind of brushed it off, and then got a demanding message indicating he was indeed serious. I blocked him but it did make me wonder...

May I ask how one would know if their photos are being scraped from their sites and re-posted? Sorry perhaps I should know this stuff BEFORE having a blog...

Thanks for sharing.

geminigirl64 5 pts

I once posted a picture of my pregnant belly on flickr, forgetting tha other people in access it.
Turns out, it was saved in someone's gallery. That gallery? Pictures of clad pregnant women. A pg women fetish. I almost puked. I removed that picture right away. it makes you think twice about posting any information online....

TIFFANY HARKLEROAD 5 pts

But, to some extent, this stuff can happen in real life too. Peeping toms, IRL stalkers, creepy men who rub against you on the subway, they all have the same intents as this guy did. Not that it makes it right, none of these people are justified. I guess my point is that we are no more or less protected online than we are in real life. People leer at us from afar in real life to when we do not even know it.

I wish I had better advice.