To Pee or Not To Pee, Is that really the question?

Yes, what happened to the dad in this story is horrendous! My husband has balked at taking our daughters places because of the bathroom situation. (I told him to get over it.) ;) Public restrooms, even women's, can be gross, though. One solution I've found is The Car Potty. It works for kids up to about 5 or 6. I bought a potty chair with a lid that makes it look like a step stool when it's closed and keep it in my mini van. When one of the kids has to go I park as far away from other cars and foot traffic as I can safely get, then line the potty with a plastic bag and a diaper. (Either use up the leftover diapers from sizes they outgrew as soon as you opened a new giganto sized bag, or buy the cheapest brand you can find.) I also keep toilet tissue in the car. They do their thing then I tie up the plastic bag and dispose of properly, and a few squirts of anti-bacterial hand cleanser to clean hands. (This is a great solution for trips, too, as long as you find a safe place to park before the child unbuckles.) My kids don't use it often now that they are older but when they are in "training mode", and for a time after that, it's much more convenient than trying to locate a clean public restroom every time they have to go.

Kim S.

http://ramblingfamilymanager.blogspot.com

That is just crazy that someone would think that was an issue for even a second.  I worry that my six year old son is getting too old to do this...but there is NO WAY I would ever send him into the Men's room alone!

Jessica

http://www.geauxremingtons.blogspot.com 

I don't know why, when I was camping last weekend, I had 9 year olds boys in the women's room. The men's room is attached, and features screened windows. Surely the moms could  stand outside and ask the kids to call for assistance, rather than increase what was already a long line and have mothers of showering girls have to more or less elbow past them to get the girls in and out. 

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My husband is a stay-at-home dad and has no choice but to take our daughter with him into the men's room if he has to use the facilities or if she does. Sure, there are sometimes "family washrooms" in malls, but for the most part there isn't any other option.

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When will they be seen as just taking their kids to the potty and not exercising any ulterior motives? 

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On the flip side, I'd have no issues if a dad wanted to take a daughter into the women's bathroom.  I was at the zoo (and it was late in the day and rainy - almost nobody was there) and there was a whole family in the women's room.  They were dealing with three or four daughters (I can't remember how many but all under 6) who were in various states of rain drenched and trying to get them all into dry clothes and whatnot.  He was embarrassed about it and offered to leave but to me what difference does it make?  The women's room at least has stalls for each person's privacy.  It seems, to me, like it would be easier than trying to check if the bathroom is relatively clear and have the daughter close her eyes or whatever. 

If that guard were so concerned, he should knock on the door to learn what's going on and confirm that when the parties come out.  If it's the parent; fine, security maintained.  If not, a molester's been caught redhanded but once the identity of the adult has been established, no comments need to be made.

I've had to take my daughter to the men's room because I don't know who to trust in the women's room or I just can't wait for someone to come out.   I have her close her eyes once I've made sure the coast is relatively clear and whisk her into a stall quick.  Once I cover the seat so she'll free of any possible infections, I tell her what to do to be sure she'll be okay and I step outside to wait for the all clear sign.  When she's done, I clean up as needed and repeat the process backwards.  Sometimes, guys are surprised but I make sure her eyes are closed and we're facing the same direction so I can watch her as well.  I've never heard anyone complain which is just as well because my daughter takes precedence and anyway, your shy kidney is not my concern.

My husband takes our three year-old into the men's room all the time. It's not even a question. It's called rotation! If I took her last, he's next.  The fact that CPS was called just blows my mind.  The family deserves an apology and it should serve as an example to facilities just how great the need is in this day and age to have family rooms AND changing tables in the men's room. 

Victoria Mason

The Mummy Chronicles

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DC Metro Moms

That security guard was way out of line and clearly handled the situation poorly.

My husband has taken my daughter into the bathroom with him but prefers I take the kids when I can since he says men's restrooms are filthy for the most part.  (I have to take his word on that). 

However, about the time my son hit 5, he didn't want to go into the bathroom with me anymore. So in public places, I either look for the family restroom, or I scope out the men's room to see if anyone is in there.  He's now 6 but I don't think he's old enough to be in a public restroom alone.  Not because he can't do his business but because he can't deal with an adult male who may choose to be inappropriate.

It's a sticky situation that certainly doesn't need to be aggravated by ignorance.

My husband takes our 4-year-old into the men's room with him. Sometimes he even does it if I'm there. Like, say, we're at a restaurant and I'm nursing the baby and my daughter has to go. We're a family with two parents and we both play an active role in public and at home. I don't really see any problem with this. On the contrary, I think we should encourage it. It infuriates me no end that there are fewer mens' rooms with change tables than womens' rooms, for example.

Although I really like that family restrooms and change rooms are becoming more and more widely available. It eliminates the whole question of dealing with mixed genders. And many of the facilities also do a better job of containing multiple children. But failing such an option we're going to deal with situations such as this one. 

~ Amber

www.strocel.com ( http://www.strocel.com )

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When my son got older i was wary of letting him go into the mens alone....what to do!

Some places do have 'family' facilities but it can be a sticky situation all round

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walk a road unpaved. It is a constant battle to receive the support that single mothers have easier access to.

I hadn't spent much time thinking about THIS aspect of their job. :(

I guess if the situation had been a molestion sort of thing, we would be commending that security officer.

People take things way to far. I will have to ask my husband what he thinks about this because so far my 2 year old is only potty trained at home we are about to start the outside of the home training soon. I never really thought about what to do if it was just him, but I would agree he has every right to take her into the men's room! It's father for goodness sake let him be praised for taking part in his child's life.

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I agree with you wholeheartedly. It makes absolutely no sense to ask him to refrain from taking his daughter to the rest room. My husband said that he sees it all the time and no one gets upset about it, a dad has to do what a dad has to do.

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My husband still takes my 5 year old with him.  I actually read this to him and he couldn't believe it.  He has never had an issue taking her with because even at 5, she is soooo not ready to be in the bathroom by herself.  He even said that it isn't like you can see anything.

The crazy thing is that this man had no other choice.  What was he suppose to do?  Leave the 1 and 3 year old outside the door?  Then get charged with child endangerment?