Penalty on the play! – Go back to bed!


Penalty on the Play!

Did you remember to put the garage door down before we left? Um….

Why did you pack this jacket? I like the other one better. Um…..

If you’re going to be like that all day, we’ll just go without you! Um….

Why did you put mustard on my sandwich? Um….

How could you forget to pay that bill? Um….

Why can’t you stay home like other moms? Um….

How could you?!

Recently, this was the joy that was my day. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right for anybody. (Sigh) Why are some days so utterly perfect and the vibe is chi-rific and other days feel like I’m dragging a train behind me and I just can’t pull it fast enough to save my life. Those are the days I just want to go back to bed and call it a day. DONE! OUT! PENALTY ON THE PLAY-GAME OVER!

What’s amazing is how fast I start telling myself the “You’re a Loser” story. Instantly my lizard brain jumps into the drivers seat, slithers her nasty tongue and hisses in delight. She’s going to drive me right over the cliff Thelma and Louise style unless I pull my head out of my ass and take the wheel.

After all these years of struggling through “how could you” days, I finally have some new plays for the old playbook. Duck-33-Run-24-Hike-Hike! (wait, that was the old play)

Breathe-33-Reset-24-Smile, Hike-Hike! 

The day is never a total loss. I am not a loser. I am not a failure. I make mistakes because I am human. I’m allowed to mess up or forget something. It is what it is. Now, move on. New play!

I realize that some days are tougher than others and this new play may not be enough. The lizard brain won’t relinquish the wheel no matter how hard I choke her and it feels like I’m being dragged behind the bus. I’ve got to give myself permission to screw up and then forgive myself. Be vulnerable and speak my feelings. Ask for forgiveness and a little extra kindness that day. Remind the world that I’m doing my best. Nobody can read my mind (thank God), so I’ve got to communicate. Use my outside voice.

Then, if all else fails, hide in the closet and drink wine until you can’t stop smiling and rainbows and ponies are coming out of your ass. Hike-Hike!

Stay sane, my friends.

allisondeford

 

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