The Penis Epiphany

I know what you mean! I have literally had to cover my eyes and yell at guys to put their penises up or put clothes on. I... don't... want... to... see. And I would call the cops in no time if a male flasher was running around. I'm all about gender equality, and I don't think this is sexist at all. It's written with a sense of humor, and male genitalia is NOT pretty. I think vaginas are gross, too, if that makes the people crying about it feel any better. That being said, I DO like the way my husband's penis looks. He is very fortunate in that department. =)

This is my first time on any blog and gotta say it's been interesting. Had a few goods laughs with all that I've read from everyone. My own thoughts are that both the penis and the vagina are sometimes attractive and sometimes not so much. Thirty four yrs. of marriage and 25 yrs. in health care, I've seen quite a few. Thankfully the penis I like to call mine but is actually attached to my husband...is gorgeous!

This whole story and the replies are nothing more than a trained population that has watched so many commercials and Hollywood junk that it has become a part of thier thinking. Boobs have become so much a sex object that poor woman trying to feed thier children are treated as third class (or third world) people. I know what I think when I see the camel toe out in public!

So true, so true, so true! If a woman's boobola pops out, men go gaga over it and can't stop drooling. If a man's penis pops out, women everywhere avert their eyes and call him perve. In fact, I bet a woman could walk around a park in broad daylight, no shirt on, and not one man would call the police for exposing herself. Let a man walk around with his pants off and the first woman he saw would be dialing 911 immediately. I am not fan of how the penis looks AT ALL~!!!

I thought this was hilarious...I'm straight, married for 13 years to a guy I love to have sex with, but neither of us think penises are particularly attractive. Don't get me wrong, I don't go "Yuck!" when I see them, but they don't make me need to cross my legs, either! I imagine you are the same, and the exaggeration of this post (it's humor, exaggeration and hyperbole are expected, people, not to be taken literally, people) seems to have been misinterpreted by many people as literal! You're right about the "feel" issue, too: when I fantasize about being with my husband, it's not *seeing* it, it's *feeling* it I imagine! I know men are more visual than women, and men don't seem to think vaginas are ugly (well, the healthy, well-maintained ones, that is, LOL), based on the content of your average hetero-male porn. I notice the same porn has a lot of penises in it, too (God it sounds like I watch a ton of porn!) too, alluding to Freud's observations about guys' often-irrational love of their members. I also notice how sensitive the guys are to the content of this post--wow, they get personal,and it's uncalled-for! Women aren't so overprotective of their genitalia like that, at least as far as the aesthetics go, it makes me wonder what the deal is. Are guys really that insecure? Oh well, I guess they're allowed, given how insecure the typical girl is! Anyway, don't listen to the haters. You're a humor writer, and I thought this post was quite humorous. And for all the haters, please, envision a big, hairy dude at the beach wearing a banana-hammock, and you'll understand perfectly.

I can only speak for myself, but I find male parts visually stimulating. Penis *definitely* makes me smile, I do fantasize about how my mate looks from top to bottom, and I'd argue that the reason we don't see more male nudity in advertising has a lot more to do more with power structure than anything else. The public display you give as an example would be weird in public - just as weird if a strange woman was flashing her vagina - but from a man I'm intimate with in an intimate setting? Bring it on, baby!

I've always been baffled by relationships where the woman feels the way you do - I guess it works for you and your partner, but I'm surprised that any man is OK with it. It seems so sad for a man to be in a relationship where his partner doesn't find him visually stimulating.

I'm still trying to figure out what sector of my brain this post was speaking to. I've never given it thought that penis's were ugly because the one (s) I've seen were actually exquisite. I guess its based on experience and exposure. I wouldn't get offended by this post, just seems like she was blowing off some steam. Oh well, to each his own.

BlogHer usually does such a good job with sexism, humanism and being fair to all genders, no matter what they write.... here read this post again, it might not be entirely accurate - but it's filthy and crude no matter how you write it:

Yesterday, while watching one of Allstate's amazing and super funny mayhem commercials, I had an epiphany: vaginas are ugly. I mean, really, when's the last time you saw a bumper sticker or t-shirt that said "vaginas make me smile," or saw a commercial with a man looking at a woman's vagina like just the very sight of it is making him wild with desire? You haven't, because vaginas are ugly. Put a good-looking, big-breasted girl in a low cut top jogging down the road, and watch the men drool all over themselves and almost get in accidents as they rubberneck to get a better view. Let a woman wear something that shows half their vagina, and see what kind of response that gets. Let her walk about with no skirt or no underwear, with the axe-wound playing peek-a-boo as she runs ... the men may be looking, but not for the same reasons. Vaginas are, however, very interesting. There are hairy ones, fat ones, beefy gross-long ones, tight little ones, innies, outties, smelly and pierced vaginas, all as unique as their owners. Then there is the clitoris, a whole other beast which just a tiny dick, gross. Don't get me wrong, I'm a heterosexual man in my mid-thirties with a healthy sex drive, but that doesn't mean I want some stranger's vagina flapping at me on the street, or to have their labia majora on display for my inspection while I eat in a restaurant. I could see it now, some woman flirting with me from across a crowded room ... she spreads her legs, oh so provocatively, to bear her clean-shaven vagina and expose the clit, knowing I will soon be her -- NOT! Why? Because while us heterosexual men want and need our woman's vagina, we don't fantasize about how it LOOKS, the folds, the flaps protruding; we fantasize about how it FEELS. They may be ugly, but we men love them all the same. In closing and on behalf of men everywhere, I leave you with these simple requests: (1) Wear underwear when jogging or wearing anything shorter than your saggy snatch when you sit or stand; and (2) If your pubic hair is longer than your vagina, get a weed-whacker. You don’t want hair on your plate when you eat ... neither do we.

Man-shaming is just as sexist as "normal" sexism, people.

Ha! I love this! It's true and makes me think about the research that has been done saying that men are much more visual than women - that they tend to be aroused by visual stimulus (ie. boobs protruding out of a low-cut top) while women are much more about sound, scent, and touch. Guess this makes sense evolutionarily.

so true. and down right hilarious. the sight of a penis does nothing-absoultely nothing for me. so funny... this is one even my husband would laugh at. thanks!

It always amazes me that someone can say the complete opposite of a heterosexual woman with a healthy sex drive, and then try to convince everyone she really is a heterosexual woman with a healthy sex drive.

You can't compare female breasts with male penis. Don't compare apples and oranges. "Put a good-looking, big-breasted girl in a low cut top jogging down the road, and watch ..." From other perspective it should be like this : "Put a good-looking, muscular man in a tight white t-shirt jogging down the road, and watch ..." I am pretty sure that a man with no underwear with running shorts is the same as a women in tight leggins and no underwear. No, cameltoe aint sexy. From my opinion this goes both ways.