People Like Us - Non Mormons Living in Utah

I have been in this state now for 6 mos, and have tried several methods of meeting people. No luck. I am a conservatively dressed professional, not wanting to date, not wanting to convert to LDS. Once they find that out, all they want is either me to buy whatever their latest moneymaker is, or information about where I shop or something like that. I don't think they are being intentionally rude, I just think they have family, grew up here, and are not interested. But, they would like new customers, would like to get converts. Those who grew up here non-LDS seem to go out of their way to appear not Mormon, and are friendly. The LDS members are cordial and respectful to me, but they turn down invitations to lunch, movies, or anything else. Is very lonely here.

This blog appears to be abandoned, but I am curious about the author and her further thoughts on living as a non- but not (anti-) Mormon in Utah. Please contact me by my profile.

How are things going now? We came in 06. We were showered with good neighbors with what seemed to be good intentions. My husband warned me but I assured him they were just being nice. Well, he was right and once they got it through their head that we weren't and will never be lds, how things changed. It was a lonely, dark time for us. We are still recovering, it's really hard for us to make friends out here. Our children come home from school regularly speaking of how the other children question them and tell them crazy things. My children come home asking if they will be zombies after they die. They say the mormons at school say only if you're good that you will come back alive after you die. One of my sons was so confused and upset by these statements. (early grade school) also they have been told that we are demons since we are not lds. My children have been told that only mormons will go to heaven. I can go on and on and on but won't. Also, I have told my children to go to an authority at school and tell that person that you have told this child or children to stop talking to you about reliegion but they won't listen so please tell them to stop. Also, my children get all kinds of looks and comments when they say "hell" or "god" or anything like that. Our highschooler came home saying that his teacher overheard him say "hell yeah" in class and sent him out to the hall for it. In the hall the teacher questioned him to lecture him about his actions. My son told the teacher that "hell" is not a bad word at home. The teacher apologized to my son and let him back into the class. Although this dispute with the teacher was taken care of by themselves I told my son that even though we don't believe as they do, that he also needs to respect his teachers and school. If they consider things to be a bad word, just respect them in their space and don't say stuff like that around them. You won't get far by disrespecting teachers lol, that's how i teach him to get along around here. but it's hard and he feels that he can't be himself around many people and I feel the same way. We live in draper too and it's so uptight around here. In another aspect, the mormons stick together, not because of what is being taught i'm sure, just because they spend so much time together almost every day of the week doing all kinds of activities that it makes it hard for us outsiders to even make friends when they are already so busy with all their current mormon friends, there is no more room for us. I do believe it's a cult and the way they keep thier memebers (who pay 10% of thier income) is by this scocial manipulation. They make them so busy with so many activities and "callings" and super long church schedules that if they were to leave it, they would feel empty and left out. It's a control method. But anyway, yes, i'm here with you in the same boat. It's gotten much better as I've been able to cope with this lonely life. But when my kids come home with these types of stories, it drives me crazy and I just want to leave. We are stuck here because of work, my husband has tried to get transferred with no luck. There's my ramble, thanks for letting me vent. :)

Jill,

Our family just moved to Layton about 4 months ago. We are originally from the Lake Tahoe,NV area and moved here for my husbands business. Growing up in Tahoe after living the first 9 years in Southern California, I am familiar with small town life and not being immediately accepted by others, but Utah is a whole different story. I am suprised that even living where the demographics are much larger in number, we are experiencing small town life all over again. We knew that being Non-LDS we would be dealing with major differences so we somewhat prepared ourselves but as you know, things are different now that we are here.We don't have any family or friends here and are doing our best to reach out. What I would like to know is if there are other families in our area that are trying to connect and are in the same boat we are.