Phoenix Country Club Gets its Due

When I was a young mother (before Mommy
blogging) I belonged to Phoenix Country Club. Well, I didn't, but my
husband did and I got to go along for the ride.

I made several key mistakes at the "Club": I showered my children in
the Ladies' Locker Room with me, instead of at the pool showers. I took
them to watch my tennis matches. And one of them got loose on the golf
course at age 2. I also crossed the threshold of the Men's Grill one
day to retrieve my husband, who was having a coke with some friends. I
couldn't get his attention without yelling, so I just walked in, past
the (female) waitresses.

Later, I got divorced and started a business. When you get divorced,
your name gets wiped off your locker at Phoenix Country Club. It took a
long time for them to realize that a woman (not a widow) could be a
member on her own. But by 1980, that had happened, and a client of mine
put me up for membership. We thought it would be a slam dunk, because
many of the members were my clients.

He was asked to withdraw me, because I was considered a
troublemaker. The men told Ed their wives didn't like me because of my
behavior in the locker room. Ordinarily they would have blackballed me,
but they were afraid I would sue, because they knew I WAS a
troublemaker. So they begged him to get me to withdraw.

You pick your battles in life. I didn't want to get him in trouble,
so I withdrew. But I never forgot. I have been waiting all these years
for karma to assert itself. And of course, it has, because it's a law
of the universe.

Not only has Barbara van Sittert, a colleague of mine from thirty
years ago, challenged the segregation of the Men's Grill. but she has
gotten the New York Times to write about it, and tonight I see that it
is one of the NYT's most emailed articles.

How perfect? What corporation, in this day of diversity, would pay
for a golf membership for one of its executives at a club that has
segregated dining??? It took thirty years, but I predict these barriers
will fall, and I will not even have to personally bring them down
(although I must say I would be proud to).

Submitted by FrancineHardaway (view blog

) on Sat, 06/28/2008 - 22:37

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I didn't even know such clubs really still
existed!

Wow. I guess I am very naive.

Elisa Camahort
BlogHer
elisa@blogher.org

Submitted by Elisa Camahort on Sat, 06/28/2008 - 19:45

They sure do

The board of PCC, very self-righteous, says it's what the members want. And the members are afraid to speak up. Read the article and you will see how people who object are subjected to public urination on their trees and other interesting juvenilia.

Francine Hardaway, Ph.D"It's not what happens to you; it's how you come to it."http://blog.stealthmode.com

Submitted by FrancineHardaway on Sat, 06/28/2008 - 19:50

Saw that story in the Times

should not read the paper when I am eating breakfast, as articles like that nauseate me. I am so glad that your associate is suing them, and may karma hit them as hard as possible. And personally, I would way rather hang out with a troublemaker like you than the other "ladies" or members of that vile club.

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

Submitted by Suzanne Reisman on Sat, 06/28/2008 - 20:33

Boys being bullies--not going away so fast

Why is it a surprise that there are still places for men to be validated for bullying? It seems to me that the current administration is just another Phoenix Country Club. Men's clubs are not going to go away so fast--in fact, they haven't. Until men feel comfortable with strong women (and the reaction to the Hillary campaign proves that they're not), they'll continue to hide away, and bully those who don't tow the line.

Sometimes I wish I had sons so that I could educate them to properly respect woman and men. But I have daughters, and I hope that they will be as fierce as you are--and all of the women who just won't let those men huddle around the grill.

Laura (blogging at www.rebelliousthoughtsofawoman.com)

Submitted by rebellious thinker on Sun, 06/29/2008 - 04:43

Thing have changed quite a bit

Having been in the work and entrepreneur world as long as I have, I see big changes in the way women are treated. When I first started out, men could say anything to women in the office, and in order not to be threatening I had to act like the sweet little daughter of some of my clients. Although things are far from perfect, they are not as bad as they were in terms of opportunities for women (my daughters are an attorney and an entrepreneurial designer) and they don't endure what I did. That's why I want to see PCC, the last bastion of gender discrimination, go down/

Francine Hardaway, Ph.D
"It's not what happens to you; it's how you come to it."
http://blog.stealthmode.com

Submitted by FrancineHardaway on Sun, 06/29/2008 - 06:09

Teaching the boys to be men

I agree that there have certainly been many changes--and it has been rather swift. When I hit the workworld in the early 80's, women were wearing tough-men suits and string ties, and had to be B's to survive. But I wonder how long it will take for the changes to be in men's perception of women? I teach high school, and I have to say that sometimes I am shocked by the things that come out of boys' mouths--throwbacks, they're throwbacks to the men of the PCC. The little put-downs, the innuendos, all aimed at diminishing the girls. But there I stand, day after day, working to teach them to write lovely sentences but, more importantly, to respect the girls in the class for their minds and capabilities.

Laura (blogging at www.rebelliousthoughtsofawoman.com)

Submitted by rebellious thinker on Sun, 06/29/2008 - 06:25

Seriously Ladies!

Do you really think that in this entire country Phoenix Country Club is the only club that has a men's private grill, and so what! My husband and I are members at Phoenix Country Club and the feedback you are getting is from a very small sampling of the members. There are over 600 members at the club so before we all rush to judgement a more diverse sampling would be appropriate. Quite frankly, I would rather my husband go the men's grill and tell his bad golf stories, lie about his round and drink a beer or two then for me to have to humor his bod golf stories all weekend! Now, should the women have a place to do the same thing, absolutley yes, and the renovation has addressed that very issue. As our mothers all taught us, don't judge a book by its cover and until you are intimately involved in this very passionate issue, let us destroy ourselves by acting like idiots. We can do that on our own.

Submitted by Girlgolfer on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 14:02