By outatwitzend on February 04, 2013
From a girl with no rhythm but a'lotta soul
So, because I have all of the time in the world (yeah, right) and because I have gotten little to zero sleep in the last few days (because of one not named young man who feels that it is his right and duty to get out of bed every 2 hours to let me know that his sheets are wrinkled or that his favorite monkey needs to be tucked back into bed) I have been a little punchy. When I get punchy I get ridiculous. And when I get ridiculous my mind seems to go off on tangents - much like the start of this blog post already.
So this last weekend, as I was feeding the kiddies breakfast, emptying the dishwasher and doing all of those things that happen before my husband even bats an eyelash to get out of bed I had this sort of creative epiphany - that I could make a rap song.
Whoa...a RAP song? yep, you heard right. For those who know me I may be one of the whitest of the white girls. I have no rhythm, zero musical talent and am lucky if I can remember the words to 'wheels on the bus'. But, I started thinking about the FIAT Commercial that is the 'Mommy's Rap', and the countless other parent raps out there these days and I thought to myself..."self... you should do one about Pinterest".. because truth be told I am addicted to Pinterest and well, why not do a rap song about it right?
Here ya go... if you know the FIAT commercial you may be able to pick up something of a beat for this but, be warned it changes somewhere in the middle - because I have no idea what I am doing and, as I said- I've got no rhythm - so use your own creative license here. And, if I can ever get my act together to find someone to finish it for me and maybe make a video out of it maybe I can make it go viral, and appear on all of the News programs next to Honey Boo Boo. Although, I am sure there will be something lost in translation here as it is kind of hard to actually READ a rap and imagine how it would sound so, this experiment may be an epic fail.
I’ve been staring at the monitor for 13 hours straight
While my kids play in a homemade tent – I know you wanna hate
I pin houses in the Hamptons that I know we can’t afford
And I “liked” a pin of projects so my kids are never bored
I built a table from a dresser
MAN, those toddler crafts sure are a stressor.
I’ve lost weight – “here’s how I did it”
“Best plan out there” – please re-pin it!
I make paleo pancakes in the shape of five point stars and know 60 different ways
to reuse my mason jars.
I’ve chalk painted all my cupboards though my kitchen isn’t worthy, and made all the household cleaners so my baseboards are never dirty
I can walk away my baby belly, clean my bathroom when its smelly, I removed that old tree stump, Man, I make Martha look like a chump.
Sure my kids may seem to suffer, but I’ll always have a buffer
‘cause I’m busy pinning recipes, and tips on how to prune my trees and best ways how to stretch my knees.
I can braid my hair in 12 ways though it seems to take up all my days, I’ll save up all my money cause I’ve learned to bake with honey, I use toothpaste to hang pictures and (have) seen a thousand quotes of scriptures.
If I make it to the bottom I start jumping and my heartbeat gets a thumping-
You cant mess with me each morning, if I’m online I give fair warning- I may ignore you when I’m scanning, and reject you when I’m planning.
I know Charlie Sheen says he is winning but don’t mess with me cause I’m Busy Pinning.
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By Liz Rizzo