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Plastic Envy

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My friend L had a tummy tuck this winter. She had been talking about it for years, ever since the birth of her third baby. She's a tiny little thing, but after that last pregnancy, her stomach was never flat again, and it bothered her. A lot.

I never really understood why she wanted the tummy tuck. But all those years ago, when she first brought it up, I was substantially thinner than I am now; in the 18 months after my last baby was born, I went from a size 12 to a size 0. I don't know how; the business of caring for two children wore me down, I think. I remember L telling me that I was "waif-like" and then saying, gently, that she didn't mean that in a good way. She was right; I was too thin.

But I also remember her pointing to my flat stomach and saying, "You're so lucky."

These days, I'm not wearing a size 0 any more -- not even close. I'm still slim, but there's nothing waifish about me. I don't miss that other, thinner self, but I would kind of like to have my flat stomach back. 

When I saw L this week, I was astounded by how fantastic she looked. And honestly? I was a little envious.

Okay a lot envious.

I'm not someone who would ever have plastic surgery; I'm not opposed to it -- if you told me you were having a proceedure of some sort, I wouldn't scoff or try to talk you out of it or scold you -- I just can't wrap my head around the idea of actually doing it myself. But for a variety of reasons -- geography, social class, age -- I know more and more women who are having various little improvements: breast implants, tummy tucks, lipo. My knee-jerk reaction is always to think first about the cost -- L's tummy tuck was the equivalent of a year's tuition for one of my kids, for example -- but I am finding that when I see these friends, with their newly revamped bodies, I am jealous.

And that surprises me.

I'm happy with my body these days, after years of finding one thing or another to dislike about it, everything from my flat chest to my big thighs to my surprising inability to get pregnant. But then I had two babies, and got bigger and smaller and stopped caring so much about what size bra I wore or how my legs looked in shorts.

As I have gotten older, of course, I've found ways to compensate for the little things I don't absolutely love; I have a great padded bra, for one, and a better sense of which hemlines work for me. I also have a healthy respect for my body and what it's capable of.

But I would still love to have a flat stomach and a pair of perfect breasts. Although I tend to forget that until I see a friend who has bought herself a new flat stomach and a pair of perfect breasts.

In the end, I put that perfect body in the same category as a gigantic diamond ring or a pair of Manolos: I understand the aesthetic appeal, but I don't think it would work for my everyday life. But not everyone feels that way: two years ago, blogger Tertia Albertyn opted for the boobs. "I am dead keen for a new set of perky boobs. I toyed with the idea a while back then kind of wrote it off but I am reinspired now. I want those boobs. Keep the diamonds, give me new boobs!"

These days, I can understand where she's coming from, even if I might not want to go there myself.

What about the health risks of plastic surgery? Marcia Yerman, at empowher, reviews "Absolutely Safe," a documentary about breasts implants and their side effects. Honestly, this convinced me that my push-up bra is the right way to go.

And for the days when I need a reminder that plastic surgery isn't always what we imagine it might be, there's this: Awful Plastic Surgery

What about you -- ever find yourself envying another woman's newly revamped body? Why -- or why not?

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gretnagreene 5 pts

I don't think I'd dare have plastic surgery at all, unless it was absolutely necessary.

We seem to live in a world where people are obsessed by their looks. I had a friend who had breast implants when she was 19 years old - I thought she was nuts and told her so but she said it would make her feel better about herself.

Afterwards she then didn't like her nose, or her hips, etc, etc, etc

I think if you have a negative image of yourself you'll never be happy.

Carole_Hicks 5 pts

Nope.  No surgery for me.  I'm going to grow older gracefully.

I own some clothing that sucks in my tummy beautifully AND I'm looking to give away $350 worth of this clothing to FOUR lucky women who are attending BlogHer.  See details here --> http://MuffintopLess.com -- Not many entries yet so you chances are very good! 

MealMixer 5 pts

I am surrounded by women my age who spend all day at the gym and look like they are 20.  Do their husbands and kids love them more?  I look my age, and so does my husband.  I had my time in the sun, and am content with who I am now - even though I know that I could look a little better if I was right now on the treadmill instead of playing around on BlogHer!

 Anyone ever see a friend who had a boob job w/o clothes?  It is...startling... when the rest of her body is almost 50.

 : )

shannonhylandtassava 5 pts

It's funny you're writing about this now, because jsut a day or so ago an old friend of mine commented on Facebook that she is seriously contemplating a tummy tuck (after having 2 kids). She's worried about the expense and the scar.

As for me, pregnancy/childbearing really didn't change my body for the worse (don't hate me), so that's not my impetus, but, even though I'm fairly happy with (resigned to?) my body, the truth is that if plastic surgery were a.) cheaper and b.) truly risk-free, I'd seriously consider lipo on my hips/thighs.

 I wish I were more evolved than that, but I'm a slim, active, fit runner, and no matter what i do diet or exercise-wise, it does not touch the fat on my upper outer thighs (or inner, for that matter!)--no matter how slim I am. I've inherited my mother's side of the family's upper thighs, and they're just not pretty, and they do not respond to any sort of behavior change on my part. It would be amazing to sculpt them into a more "conventional" shape through surgery, but every now and then you hear about people DYING from lipo. Can you imagine the message that would send to your children? Ugh. Plus, I can't afford it. But I've been struggling to accept my lower body since puberty, and I still pine for a smooth silhouette from waist to knee rather than my lumpy pear-shaped one. I'd love to look like the runner I am (and feel like).

Mom101 5 pts

I would love to have my prebaby body. Mostly the boobs. Probably the thighs. Stomach is up there. But I'm terrified of elective surgery horror stories which seems vaguely irresponsible once I've got kids depending on me.And then I hate the entire societal pressure to be perfect anyway. At what point can we just pass the perfect body baton to the younger, more supple generation and say "it was a fun run while it lasted...your turn."

Of course I reserve the right to change my mind at any time. 

Mom-101 ( http://mom-101.blogspot.com )
( http://coolmompicks.com )

Cool Mom Picks.com ( http://coolmompicks.com )

Amy S. 5 pts

and breast surgery.  I wish I was one of those people that was happy and comfortable with my body, but I think those people are few and far between.  For most of us mere mortals, self esteem is tied directly to health and how we look.  

I haven't done it yet because I'm terrified of complications -- I have a tendency toward bizarre reactions to routine medical procedures (almost died after my last C-section). 

Amy@UWM
Up With Moms ( http://upwithmoms.blogspot.com/ )

fittothefinish 5 pts

I totally understand your friend's longing for her old tummy back. When I lost 150 pounds twelve years ago a lot of skin issues were revealed. Even though I would love to have things tightened up, I won't. I can't afford it, I'm afraid of the risks, and for me, the small cosmetic issues remind me of where I was, and where I don't want to go again. Like everything in life, this is a personal choice. Thanks for sharing.

Diane

lost 150 pounds and talks about it at:

www.fittothefinish.com/blog ( http://www.fittothefinish.com/blog )

Headless Mom 5 pts

As much as I would love a flat stomach I just don't think that I could ever do it. Honestly? I think it's because of the anesthesia. Well, that and my luck I'd end up with a road map on my belly and then not be able to show anyone!

moonfever0 5 pts

I would be totally jealous as well. The tummy is one spot that I can't seem to have any control over. But I never had the nerve to find out how much it would cost. When you hinted at the price, the thought went right out of my mind because I'm way too cheap to spend that kind of money on myself.

Angela at mommy bytes ( http://www.mommybytes.com )
BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

AmberS 5 pts

I don't think I have plastic surgery envy. I might still be too young, I don't know of anyone who's had it. And, like you, I would never have it myself. The idea of paying so much money for major surgery doesn't feel like something I'd go through with.

But I understand the impulse. I have two kids. My body has the associated wear and tear and I don't particularly like it. It surprised me, really, because I've never had what I would consider a negative self image. But the whole experience of bearing children left me feeling out of control and a little demoralized. Yes, my body can do amazing things, I just wish it didn't look quite so mom-ish.

~ Amber

www.strocel.com ( http://www.strocel.com )