Lenore Skenazy has been stirring up the parenting world with her book Free-Range Kids and blog of the same name for quite a while, now -- I first wrote about her about eighteen months ago, when she allowed her nine-year-old to ride the subway alone.
And while I applaud her challenge to the world to think more about how we treat our kids, and whether we are overprotecting them to their detriment, the latest brouhaha leaves me feeling a little less like Skenazy is championing a different way of thinking and a little more like maybe she just enjoys the controversy.
In a nutshell: Skenazy shares on her blog that YA author Eric Berlin was asked to speak to a classroom of 4th graders via Skype, but the teacher then asked if there was a way for the kids to see him without him being able to see the children. It's even noted in the retelling of the story that the teacher cited "confidentiality and other school district guidelines" in her request.
Skenazy's footnote on Berlin's story is: "Hey Eric: Children are our most precious resource. If we don’t protect them from technology-assisted remote-site author visits, who will?"
The bulk of the comments that follow are mockery of the teacher, the school, the parents involved; ruminations range from whether or not that teacher even understands how Skype works to whether people are truly afraid of Skype accounts being hacked so that pedophiles can see images of Little Susie in the third row, etc.
The story was subsequently picked up by Boing Boing, where it's tagged with "ZOMGWEREALLGONNADIERUNHIDE" and the mockery in the comments is continued.
One of the anonymous comments at Boing Boing took a break from the taunting to make what I thought was a salient point:
Yeah, yeah, snarky outrage. You folks have to understand the policy environment in which schools do their work. There are a lot of regs from the feds and states that are there for very good reasons. Unfortunately, this encourages a somewhat defensive, anti-innovation mindset. How do we start solving this problem? Find out if the school has a "visiting speaker" policy. Most do; I doubt any of those policies prevent the visitor from looking at the children. So the teacher (or better yet, district technology coordinator) gets the board or superintendent to extend the policy to "remote visitors". Better still: get remote visiting added to the district's technology plan so it becomes not only permitted but encouraged. See, bureaucracy is your friend! Schools are no worse than most large organizations -- think of what it'd take to get your employer or other behemoth in your life to adopt some obviously beneficial innovation that's not quite in the fairway of its business goals.
And on Skenazy's original post, BlogHer's own Stirrup Queen, Mel, comments so thoughtfully I would totally kiss her on the lips if that wasn't, you know, weird and creepy. Here's an excerpt:
I’m actually quite impressed with the teacher and not so much with the mocking of the situation. There are rules in place in the school, and those rules are dictated by the school and not by the parents (I find some of the rules at schools ridiculous too, but it’s not my place to tell them how to run their organization. I can only vote with my feet and place my children in a different school). This teacher asked the author a question, keeping in mind the limitations placed by her organization. She was doing her job and being responsible and the way we can have free-range kids is if there are adults around doing their jobs to create environments that allow kids to be free to be kids.
Between these two comments, I realized why I was so annoyed with the tarring and feathering of the teacher/school involved in this story. On the one hand, I agree completely -- it's ridiculous. First of all, the way you do one-way viewing is to just not use a camera in the classroom; so the question was kind of naive, in the technical sense. Second, it does seem absurd, at first blush, that this would be a concern.
On the other hand, sometimes schools have silly rules, and sometimes they're because the schools really don't get something or really need to join us in this century, but in my experience it's even more likely that they take the path of least offense-ability because we parents -- let's face it -- can be huge pains in the rear. The school has to consider any liability they may incur and the likelihood of parental complaint before they do anything.
Is having a guest speaking in the room any different than having him visit via Skype? No. And yes. And the same parents who would be happy with a visiting author may raise holy hell if they find out their children were broadcast via video without their consent. Should the school have prepared better for this scenario, perhaps sending home notices and/or permission slips, so that it would be a moot point? Possibly. Heck, I'll even go so far as to say probably. But is the poster-case for overprotecting our children and the damage it may wreak...?
I don't think so. Puzzling, yes. Annoying, sure. Kind of stupid? Even that. But worth all the torches? Schools have had bureaucracy a lot longer than we've been trying to protect our kids from the big bad world, methinks.
At Technology Liberation Front, Adam Thierer says:
It’s really quite sad when you think about what kids are missing because of this “worst case scenario” mentality. In this particular case, these kids missed out on the opportunity to potentially hear from an innovative author of popular kids’ puzzle books (Eric Berlin, author of The Puzzling World of Winston Breen.) That’s troubling enough. But just think what other interesting people or topics these and other kids may never get to experience because of this mentality.
Maybe I'm missing something, but did Berlin end up not speaking to the class over this...? I don't recall reading that anywhere.
Bookninja says of the story:
This was explained as a requirement of privacy regulations around photographing the kids. I suppose they were worried he’d record it and sell it to a pr0n site that specializes in attentive kids. Sick, man. Sick. (P.S. Big fan of the Free-Range Kids movement.)
Again, I think it's a leap to say "they were worried he'd record it and sell it to a pr0n site." As a mother to kids in public schools, I've seen the letter of the law trip up the spirit more than once. It's aggravating, but it happens. And I doubt anyone was running around crying about the sky falling or children being sold into slavery via Skype, but rather that we're looking at a blanket policy about children being videotaped that may have tripped up an otherwise excellent idea.
It's a story worth discussing. It's about new technology, and privacy concerns, and public schools, and parenting, and maybe even about paranoia, a little. But I don't think it's a prime example of what's wrong with the world or the way we parent our children. Not by a long shot.
Note, too, that if you go looking for folks commenting on this story... you'll find male bloggers. Not female ones. Why is that? Perhaps moms, as a general rule, are more accustomed to school rules and weirdnesses and know that they can often be gotten around without all this yelling and screaming...?
Is Skenazy overreacting? Am I underreacting?
BlogHer Contributing Editor Mir has been known to send her kids down to the pond with a casual, "Try not to fall in." She also blogs about issues parental and otherwise at Woulda Coulda Shoulda, and about the joys of mindful retail therapy at Want Not.
Comments
I'll admit I found it odd
When I read it I thought the question posed to the author was odd. I don't have kids so the only thing I can base it on is my own experience growing up. We had reporters from the local paper come into the classroom and take our pictures. It was no biggie and there were certainly no permission slips. The only permission slips I remember taking home were for field trips and after school activities on school property.
I do wonder how many people commenting have children and are more used to the "new normal."
Sassymonkey and Sassymonkey Reads.
Off the To-Read List
My lips are yours, Mir.
I have to admit that I was deeply interested in this book, having never seen the blog and only having information about her book. It sounds great in theory and definitely fits our parenting style. But since encountering the blog, I've taken the book off the to-read list which is a shame because I'm technically her target audience.
I am all for letting kids be kids. For raising responsible kids. For putting responsibilities on kids and for trusting kids. BUT I couldn't find a blog post that was about what kids wanted to do, what they were ready to do, or how to judge that. All I found were posts about the parents--what the parents wanted, how the parents felt, what the parents believed. I couldn't find posts that were actually kid-centered on a blog which is supposed to be about kids and listening to them.
And perhaps I didn't delve deep enough into the posts, but I honestly couldn't because the posts felt more like bullying than discourse. Posts took on a mocking tone, making fun of how others choose to parent or their personal limits. That particular post mocked a teacher for following the rules set by the school. It didn't invite a discussion--it simply invited bashing. And that is the fault of the author for not inviting a conversation simply through her word choice and lack of question. She jumps straight into shoving ideas down the reader's throat--how we're supposed to view this situation, what we're supposed to think. And apparently, decisions on limits are made within a bubble--with no outside information taken into consideration.
I believe in free range parenting when the people teaching it understand that each family needs to set their own comfort zone--one that is based on the maturity of their kids, the work they've done to teach responsibility, and the environment around them (it would be freakin' insane of me to let our kids play outside alone in our neighbour. It wouldn't be if I lived where I grew up). And anyone who is going to mock another person for their limits is not a teacher--they're actually just a bully. And the world needs more teachers if we're going to raise responsible, self-resilient kids into responsible, self-resilient adults.
Venting about infertility since 2006
www.stirrup-queens.blogspot.com
and we're not talkin' cowgirls...
I like the free-range concept
I remember when you first wrote about Skenazy and I was intrigued. Since then I have tried to be more aware of when I'm being reasonable and when I'm being paranoid. To more accurately assess the risks to my children. So I'm grateful for that.
However, I too checked out her blog and didn't find a lot of useful information. Just a lot of "this is how I do it and you should too" kind of thing. So the mocking of this teacher doesn't surprise me greatly. It does disappoint though. This could be such a "teachable" moment and instead it became an opportunity to mock. Too bad.
You aren't underreacting. I think you accurately assess how schools operate. It takes time to adjust to new technology and the desire to not offend and save hours of paperwork is very strong. Hopefully when the hoopla dies down, schools will take time to investigate the new technologies and develop appropriate policies.
I don't think you're under reacting.
and I think Melissa nailed it exactly. Where are the kids in all this?
I was chair of a community group that runs a summer camp when someone volunteered to make us a webpage. As a parent, I was excited... FINALLY a way to communicate, put up permission slips and advertise our successes that didn't require just about face to face interactions. It was a 'no-brainer', right? However, sentiment was strongly against, and I didn't understand why, until various parents came to me privately. Among their concerns were of course pederasts (who would know the child's name and location) but also crazy relatives, hostile ex's and general exposure. One mom of a stutterer CRIED when expressing her fears that her daughter would wind up on you-tube. No one knows or can judge why families have the limits they do.
Recently, someone I had a fling with MANY years ago messaged me on facebook, thinking I was my daughter. He was inappropriate to someone he thought was a minor, to say the least. Soon after, he contacted me again, having concluded (doubtless after a little more online research) I was myself. Was I glad that my ACTUAL daughter wasn't the recipient of his attention? Darn tootin'. One photograph of the two of us or even of her would probably remove all doubt, and I'd be pretty upset if a video of her, even in a classroom, was released without my permission and resulted in a stranger (including, in the example above, a stranger who happens to write children's books) having access to her.
http://www.blogher.com/blog/she-who
I used to be heavily involved in scouts
Any sort of footage of the kids (video or still) had to be approved, in writing, by every single parent. We had kids in foster care with violent family histories - there was a lot at stake. So I understand why the teacher asked.
I also understand why it seems so rediculous.
But the outcry seems much more ludicrous to me.