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Evidence
And suddenly, there it is.
Just like that.
Mixed in with old magazines and brownie recipes,
dental records and department store receipts
all destined to be burned.
folded neatly
a letter
a letter from him
We always suspected
And there I am
staring at the needle in my mother's haystack
my hand extending toward it
ready to seize the opportunity
One day, I'm just going to ask her
And just as suddenly,
my hand stops
frozen in midair
the question thickening in my throat
my breath unable to free it.
I drop my eyes and carry the box to the field
where I stoke the fire,
stirring up ash and odd remnants of my childhood
the letter, undefended,
awaiting its fate.
Someday, we're going to find something
I cast fistful after fistful of paper
into the flames
the letter shifting first to the right
then to the left of my grasp
but always in sight
dark blue ink filling line after yellowed line
until finally it makes its way into my pocket
And then, we'll know
I contemplate the flames as I plunge my stick into the cinders,
stirring in old medical bills and insurance papers
collected beauty tips, greeting cards and newspaper
One day we'll know
and regard the life drifting upward in black smoke
this woman's life
of dreams and defeats
unkept promises and
pains delivered
tears shed
and wounds yet to be forgiven
years of regret and prayers for redemption
One day we'll know the truth.
I reach into my pocket
and cast the letter into the flames.
Laura Young, 2006
