That Poops Me Off - Part 2
Neighbor, I thought I'd be a martyr. Suffer in silence alone. Then after Easter weekend I saw the fruits of labor on the sidewalk by the kids in another unit. They had decorated the sidewalk with Easter wishes. Among other things. Turns out they're pretty pisssed about all the poop and flies too.
Well, here at Give Me Paws, we're nothing if not problem-solvers and humanitarians who want to help others, so I'm listing 2 ideas for you. Maybe my readers will have more ideas to help you.
I know, Neighbor. It's hard to remember to take bags with you, right? Well.
A) They sell amazing little handy gadgets now to help you keep the bags with you at all times. Well, not at all times, but anytime you have the leash and the dog with you. Really, that's good enough, right? Because you probably won't have the dog with you without the leash. You probably see yourself as a responsible dog owner, right? Because I see you always have that big guy on a leash.
2) If you only left an enormous pile of poop in OUR YARD once in a while, when you forgot a bag or it was raining, or some menacing guy on a 3 wheel recumbent bike was chasing you down the street, then I'd let it go. Like water off a duck's back, as my friend Joy from Trophy Mama would say. But if you refer to the evidence I submitted earlier in "That Poops Me Off - Part 1," you will be able to count at least 5 piles, and that's not all of them. I have more pics that I did not post. I'm trying not to go overboard and gross out my readers, ok? They have to read this letter too, you know. Well, they don't have to, but I hope they will.
Hey, I know you have a big dog, and my dog is little, so yours makes a lot more waste than my sweet girl. But, these are the pros and cons that responsible dog owners weigh when they pick a dog to love and take care of its whole life. If you didn't want to pick up lots of poop, you could have chosen a smaller dog, or gotten a house with a yard and decided to leave your poop pile to make a fly collection for yourself to enjoy, PigPen. I'm sorry. I usually don't call names. That's not fair. What I meant was, you could have collected flies and sold them to someone on Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs, who really needs lots of flies. We don't like the flies. We have no use for them. Or poop. In OUR YARD.
Let me know if I can help in any other ways. As I said, I'm sure my readers may have ideas for what you can do with the dog poop that will no longer be in OUR YARD after you read my letter.